Pain

The pains of her life..

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I WANT TO DIE! LET ME DIE! There is only a few things on this world that make me stay:

1) My parents

2) My young brother

3) My few best friends

4)  .... OH WAIT! Yeah, there is nothing else. There's only 3 things that make me stay on the Earth.

 

It all started when I found this chat online and joined. I was there for a few months until I met this girl. Then the chat turned dangerous so I left and I was emailing the girl.

I told her I was a guy because I didn't want to give away my identity.So then she invited me to join Google+ and I joined because by then we were going out. I still hadn't told her I was a girl and I cried over it every night.

Then over the months I was with her on G+ I hurt her so many times. And she still believed I was a guy. I felt so horrible. 

Now, she is cutting and very suicidal and it's all my fault. I'm still in contact with people from the chat and the one I felt closest with, admitted that she was telling the girl I'm going out with everything I told her. Now there's only one person I can depend on there. She has been with me all the way and she is also suicidal but she doesn't moan and groan about it. She still continues life and she said that I'm the only reason she's still going. She also doesn't know I'm a girl. No one there does.

No one outside of my laptop knows about my online friends and I feel terrible for lying to my loving and caring parents. But of course, if I told them they would never trust me again.

Right now I left G+ and I am only talking to the girl that has been always with me. I hate it!

The girl who I was going out with, her friend is being a bitch to me. She's calling me a coward and many other things.

I HATE LIFE!

But of course I will never CS because of my 6 year old brother who loves me dearly and it would affect him a lot if I just disappeared on day. and my dad loves me so much as well. Of course my mom does too but my dad and my brother really show that they love me.

Oh the pain of life

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