My Bieber

Alison Kerr has finally found the love of her life, but can fame and fortune ruin this perfect love story?


7. Goodbye Angel


"She's gone, Justin. Forever. I didn't even get to say goodbye. Just like that."

"Who's gone? Look at me, baby! Who's gone?" Justin asked, you could tell he was worried.

I couldn't reply. I couldn't tell him that my mom had passed away. It just wouldn't come out. That would make it all too real.

"Answer me, please Alison." He whispered as he sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me thinking it was going to calm me down or something? 

"My mom, Justin. Sh-she's g-gone..." I whispered in between my tears.

"Baby, I'm so sorry..." He's voice began to crack. 

My mom and Justin had always got along quite well, so when he found out, I could tell that he was really upset as well. 

Justin and I sat on the floor, where I had fallen earlier, for about an hour before he had to head to the airport to get Scooter and the others. I was alone. In the state that I'm in, I don't think it was a good idea for Justin to have left with out me. 

Without my mom here, it felt like my whole world was caving in. I felt so restricted. She was the strongest woman I've met in my life. She took care of both Derek and myself all alone for 14 years and I can tell you now, we weren't the easiest kids to handle. My mom also had cancer. That's how she passed. My mother was my best friend, we'd spend every Sunday night together doing girly stuff and just having a laugh together. I can't do that anymore. 

Just as I thought there was no way to stop the pain, I looked up. I seen my toiletry bag sitting on the drawers so I jumped up and grabbed it and reached in for the razor. I picked it up and stared at it... I've always been against self harm, but I want to be with my mom. I want to spend Sundays with her again and I never want to leave her side again, ever.

I held the blade between my fingers and placed it on my wrist, but not cutting it. I took a deep breath in as I started applying pressure to the blade and gliding it across my unharmed wrist. Immediately blood started oozing out. I cried out in pain and the tears started flowing heavier and faster than before. 

"I'm sorry, Justin." I whispered before cutting even deeper into the flesh. It was horrible. 

'The pain will be over soon, the pain will be over soon.' I kept repeating that sentence and assuring myself that everything's going to be alright.

Just as I was about to make another cut, my phone beeped, telling me that I had gotten a message.

To: Sis xx
From: Derbro

Al, I know things r rough at the moment and I probably should've said something earlier, but I want u to know that everything will be ok. Promise me u wont do anything to hurt yourself? I know u don't like it when people do that stuff, but Im just telling u now that I couldn't live with myself knowing that I wasn't there with u to stop u from doing anything. I've spoken to Justin a little earlier and Im coming to see u tomorrow. Love u sis. See u soon. xxxx ❤

I broke down after seeing that text. I grabbed a bandage from my toilet bag and wrapped it around my fresh wound and then put my jumper back on, to cover it with the sleeves. 

I couldn't do it again. I've now made a promise to Derek to not do it again. 

All of a sudden, Justin walked into the room and looked at me with blood stains on my hands and the sleeve of my jumper.

"Ally, what happened?" He whispered gently before kneeling down next to me.

"Nothing happened, Justin. It's fine. Can I please be alone? You have friends to see." 

"No. I don't care, they can wait. Ally, lift your sleeves." He said softly, but stern.

I looked at him as tears began to fall again.

I didn't know what to say.

"Please, don't ever do it again." Justin said while tears were immediately forming in his eyes.

"I won't." 

"No, I mean it! Knowing what you've done kills me on the inside. I shouldn't have left you to go get them, not when you're in the state you're in! God, how could I be so stupid!? Please! Alison Jade Kerr, don't ever try to do this to yourself again? If anything ever happened to you, do you know how it would make me feel? Do you know how it would make Derek feel? What about your friends and family? Baby, I love you more than this career, I would do anything to support you and be by your side and just make sure that you never do this again! Please Ally, I'm begging you! Don't ever do it again? I'll be here for you and I'll be by your side, rain, hail and shine. Today, tomorrow and forever. That's a promise, there are other ways to release your pain. Think about your friends and family, think about me, your boyfriend?" As he said that, tears were pouring down both mine and Justin's face. 

"Justin, you don't get it? I don't have friends or family! All I have is Derek! I need to be by myself! I don't need you! I only need my mom and my brother! I love you, Justin... But I need to go. I need to find a way to get on with this before it ruins my life and ruins our friendship and I have to go now before it gets harder," I stood up and grabbed my suitcase that still hadn't been unpacked before I continued. "So, I guess... I'll just see you around? Goodbye, J-Justin..." Tears were flooding down my face and my whole body felt weak.

"A-Ally, w-what do you me-mean?" I've never seen Justin cry so much. "You're leaving m-me?"

"I'm s-sorry." 

"No, no, no, no! You can't! Alison, p-please don't! You're just upset! You aren't thinking straight! Just stay for the rest of the night! Get some rest then see how you feel in the morning!? Please Ally, you can't leave me!? I can't let you just run away like this, I need you and the way you are right now, you need me. Please Al. Don't do this?"

"I love you, Jay," trying my hardest to speak without the tears getting the better of me, I continued. "But I need to go." 

I took a step closer, giving him a hug goodbye and a kiss on the cheek, before walking out into the living area, where Scooter, Ryan, Alison, Kenny, Alfredo and Justin's grandparents stood. 

"At least tell me where you're going? Please, Al? I promise I won't annoy you, I just need to know you're going to be safe?" Justin said, running out of his room, towards me.

I gave him the name of the hotel I'll be staying at with Derek until its time to go back home. He walked me to the taxi out front of the house, waiting for me. 
We were both crying, a lot.

"I'll see you again soon, okay?" Justin said, hugging me.

"Bye, Justin." 

"I love you, Al." He cried.

"I love you too, Jay." I took my seat in the back of the cab. 

"Stay safe, p-princess." 

And with that, the car drove off, down the road. I looked back to see Justin kneeling on the side of the road, crying, with his head in his hands, curled into a ball.
Seeing him like that only made me cry more.


She's gone. My baby's gone... I'll get her back. This will all be over soon. She's mine and mine forever and there's no way that I'm letting this be the end of us. I need her more than anything.

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