Lost in the Future

Just another poem of thoughts...pretty much. I don't expect any of you to read it or even begin to try and understand or make sense of it, but thanks if you attempt to:)

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As I walk into the room I remember it.
The distinctive setting, the viewing, the
Way the armchairs line up along the
Side of the wall.
                                           Pushed to the side.

As I walk into the room I take it in.
The old, lonely people, their 'home', the
Place I longed to forget but I
Never forget the truth.
Though one always tries.

As I walk into the room I pause to see.
My Mother in the chair to the right, the
Place she's always been.
Well, since I can remember.
Longing to be free.

As I walk into the room I go across to her.
The trapped bird in her cage, wings outstretched waiting to
Fly away in the wind.
But she's stronger than that.
She's a fighter.

As I walk through the room I catch her.
Catch her vision as she scans the
Room that means more to her than it should
And the place where she has to call home.
But home is in the other direction.

As walk into her area I grasp her.
Grip her arm so much than I'm almost pleading for
Her to remember me.
To guide me back to the past.
But she's in the future.

 

As I walk to the chair beside her I catch my breath.
I hold myself upright before sinking down deeper into
What could be pain but is only a chair,
A chair that sits beside a cage of agitated monkeys.
She's one of them.

As I lay back into the chair in the room I blink.
As if one simple movement could take back what
Kills me every day since
It happened.
I want her back.

And as I sit here in the room thinking, I'm back to reality.
I'm back to the present and she's
Next to me, right here,
My Mother free from her cage.
She's alive.

But as I get up to leave I'm dreading the day.
The day I know will one day creep up and
She'll be the one sitting in that armchair,
Instead of who is really my Grandmother.
Then, I'll be lost forever.

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