"Head in the clouds, got no weight on my shoulders"
When I was little, I thought life was perfect. But now, everything is a lie. I face things every single day ever since my mom died. About 80 percent of them involve my dad. He wants me to be something that I'm not, and it's stupid. I can't change myself, but in order to appease to him, I made this compromise with him. This compromise was worse than what he wants me to actually be. I've got 99 problems. But you, Ashton, won't be one.


22. With a smile

"Alice, what are you doing here?" I ask walking in and getting a cup of coffee.

She sighs. "Okay, yes, I was with your father." That's when I sigh agreeing I finish prepping and taking a sip from my mug. "But it's my only way to keep my job." She then walks over to me and in a low whisper says "I have to stay in the closet or I'll get fired."

Stay in the closet?

Get fired?

"Wait, are you...?" I trail off because I don't want to begin judging her.

"Lesbian? Yes." She answers. Okay, my first thought was bisexual.

"Why would you get fired if my-oh." My dad, along with being a big douche, is one of the biggest homophobe ever. I hate it so much. Like if I ever talk to him about a person who's gay or lesbian or bi, he goes into this rant. That's when I leave. That's why he only hires heterosexuals, and I wish he hired more in the lgbt community.

Alice then nods. "Yeah. I really hate your father sometimes." She says.

"You don't understand the hell I've been through since mom died."

I still remember her death like it was yesterday...


I was sitting in math class working on a worksheet with my group when the phone in the classroom rang. The teacher picked it up and after a while, she came over to me. "Connor, you're going to want to pack your things. Your dad is here to pick you up right now." With a hesitant nod, I get my things out of my locker and head to the office.

Standing in the office was my dad. "Come on, Con. I'll explain this to you in the car." He says as we walk out of the building.

He explained how the doctors called him at work and that my mom was not going to make it today.

I cried the entire way there. I didn't want to lose my mom. Not today.

But I was.

When we got to the hospital, I ran. I ran for my life. Tears were welling up, but I didn't care.

I had to get to mom.

When I got up to her room, I stopped in my tracks. She was weak and pale and tired. Her hair was gone from all the chemo she received.

"Connor." She says weakly, but with a smile.

I will always remember that smile as long as I shall live.


"So then for a good hour, we all talked as a family for one last time. Until she closed her eyes slowly..." I wipe a tear away. Alice hands me a tissue and I blow my nose.

"I'm so sorry to hear." Alice says softly while patting my leg. I nod and then my phone vibrates. I pick it up and it's Ashton calling.

"Can you give me a minute? My friend is calling." I tell her before getting up and answering. "Hello?"

"Hey. Want to meet up?" Of course, it's not like I've seen him the whole weekend.

"Sure. Oh, I also got to give you your next book."

"Ugh that damn dare."

"Ready to give in, Irwin?"

"Hell, no!"

"Okay! Meet me at Subway for lunch later, okay?" He says okay and hangs up. I go and grab one of the books off of my shelf and make sure that it's at least challenging.

I will win this.

Sorry I haven't updated in forever! Hopefully the filler chapter will make this up!

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