Wonderstruck

Do you ever just see a beautiful stranger? Not just a stranger that looks nice, but a really beautiful stranger who just captures you with the way they look and the way they act and makes you think about them at 2 am. A beautiful stranger that leaves you wonder struck and makes you somehow want to see them again and be with them forever yet at the same time, make you want to stay away from them so they remain this mysterious beautiful person that's in the world that would never hurt you.
I should have gone with the latter.

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Ethan's point of view

Hey I text Rosy on Sunday. She's been off with me all week and there's no wonder seeing as I didn't tell her what I was doing on Saturday. She's bound to be suspicious but really, I wasn't doing anything bad. It was actually good. 

She replies:

Hi

I text her back, excited:

Can you come over to the flat? I have something to show you

I worry that she isn't going to come but she replies:

Sure, I guess

 

Rosy's point of view

I want to ignore Ethan because I'm pissed off with him but I do want to see him and whatever he has to show me. I get my dad to drop me off and tell him to pick me up in a couple of hours. I knock on Ethan's door and he opens it with an excited grin. I can tell I look weary and unimpressed and I'm glad but it doesn't seem to put him off. 

"Hey, you." he kisses me, shutting the door behind him. 

"Hey." I say. 

He laughs a little. "Okay I totally understand why you're mad but here's your explanation about why we couldn't hang out yesterday. Wanna know what I was busy doing?" 

I nod. "Go on."

He lifts his shirt over his head and on the side of his rib cage is a tattoo. Not that little outline of a heart, a new one. It's in black, swirly handwriting with little touches of red here and there and it says my name. 

 

Ethan's point of view

I wait for her to stop seeming so unimpressed with me and for a grin to cross her face when she realises what I've done for her but she just looks a little shocked instead and not in a good way. She just looks stunned with the slightest bit of horror in her eyes. Not enough for her to be really terrified but enough to tell me that she's upset. 

"Well?" I ask. 

"Tell me that's fake."

I frown. "What?" 

She sighs, putting her head in her hands. 

"No really, tell me! What's the matter? Explain to me why you're so upset!" I demand. 

She looks at me, exasperated. "I have no idea what to say!"

"You obviously do." I frown. 

She sighs, frustrated. "Getting a tattoo of my name? That's such a huge thing to do. Maybe a bit too huge-"

"I love you!" I try not to shout at her. "I don't think that's ever going to stop!"

"You loved that girl when you were fourteen!" she says back with the same tone. "You got a tattoo for her! You thought that was love!"

"I was fourteen, I know more now." I protest. 

"You probably said the same thing when you were fourteen."

"Rosy, I'm an adult now, I know when I'm in love and when it's just some stupid thing-"

"Ethan, you don't know as much now as you're gonna know one day and that's never going to change!" her voice is getting louder now as she gets more frustrated. "I'm just saying, I think it was a mistake for you to get a tattoo that says my name!"

"Why?!" I demand, my voice getting louder as well.

"Because I don't really know if we're going to last another year, let alone the rest of our lives!" she shouts and it's followed by absolute silence.

 

Rosy's point of view

I feel terrible for saying that but it's the truth. I'm being honest for the first time, not just with Ethan, but with myself as well. In my mind I always felt like we were going to just never break up, we just fit that well but I guess ever since our first fight I've known deep down that it isn't going to last forever. I really didn't realise that until about ten minutes ago. Ten minutes ago, I still thought Ethan and I were going to last forever. Then I saw his tattoo. I saw his tattoo and realised that that was his way of saying that we were forever and however much it broke my heart to admit, I realised that I didn't want that.

"Ethan, I saw that tattoo and I felt scared." I say in a low voice. "Because I don't want this forever. It doesn't mean I don't love you, it doesn't mean I don't want you, but it scared me to think of us forever. And I'm sorry you got that tattoo. I'm sorry if you feel like you've wasted your time with me, but that's how I feel and I can't help that."

He stares after me, tears in his eyes as I walk away from him. I always thought that if we ever did break up then it would be because of an argument, not because of the way one of us feels. I still love him so much but I'm walking away because I can't change the fact that I don't want to be with him forever. 

"Rosy!" he follows me out of the building into the rain. This would be romantic if I wasn't so upset. "Rosy, wait!"

"Why?!" I yell, all of a sudden crying uncontrollably. "So you can tell me how mad and upset you are with me? So we can talk about how hard and sad all of this is? I really do not want to hear it!"

"I love you, you absolute idiot!" he yells. "I was stupid to expect you to stay with me forever, I get that, it was stupid of me to get that tattoo, I understand that! I know one day it's going to end and that's a bit of a slap in the face, but I'm not going to let it end before it has to. I love you Rosy and I'm not going to stop any time soon."

I stare at him, my mouth open. I don't know what to say.

"If you want to walk away right now, then do." he says, the rain pouring off him. "But I think you'd be making a huge mistake."

"I'm not going to walk away." I say quietly. 

"What?" 

I sigh, rushing over to him and kissing him. He pulls me up into his arms, kissing me back. It's a very weird kiss. We're happy because we're okay but we're sad because we've admitted to ourselves that this is all going to end some day and obviously we knew that but to say it out loud is something else. I wonder whether we'll still say "We'll be okay" to each other anymore.

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