Let me love you *Completed*

Amanda Wilson is a battered, beaten down girl who's just about had enough. She just wants it to be over and it's about to be, until a new kid comes into town. Seth Monroe. He can't figure out what's wrong with her, why she won't open up, why she can't let him love her. Is Amanda to broken to open up?


13. You can't love me

I decide to wear washed out short shorts and a cropped USA shirt with gray sandals. I leave my hair loose over my shoulder and put on lipgloss and mascara. When he comes I run into the car, the rain starting to fall down around me. When I get in the car he kisses me, screwing his eyes shut as if he's in pain. What? I ask alarmed. He groans. I want you so bad right now Amanda. He grabs my waist and I let him kiss me a few times before I shove him away. Drive. I laugh, hitting him in the back of the head. But his words hit me really hard. Was I actually going to let him have sex with me? Was it even my call?

Seth chose some really scary movie and bought me candy. When we sat down, I lean against his chest and his arm goes around me. I didn't watch much of the movie- too bloody for me. I was about to fall asleep when he slips his hand down my shorts. My eyes immediately blink open, and I try to seem unfazed. My heart thuds wildly in my chest. I try not to shiver as I feel his hand move across my butt. When he almost begins to finger me, I lean off of him. I need to use the bathroom, okay? I use my happy, carefree voice. He seems to fall for it and I leave, running into the bathroom and checking the stalls before locking the door. I push my hands into my hair. Should I let him do this? It reminded me so much of my father it was sick. I make my way back into the theater and sit next to Seth again. You okay? He asks worriedly. I laugh quietly and nod. Never better. Then he puts his arm around me again, and doesn't touch me for the rest of the movie. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

When the movie's over, we hold hands as we walk out of the theater. It was raining hard and he picks me up carries me into the car. My hair was damp and he laughs. We talk and sing along to the radio as he drives me home. He stops in front of my house and we start to make out. He slips his hand up my bra making me gasp. I pull back from the kiss and grin sheepishly. My dad's gonna kill me. I sigh, planting kisses along his jaw to tease him. Then stay with me. He smiles. I run a hand through my hair and smile at him. I wish, I gotta go. As I open the door, he grabs my hand. Amanda? I wait for him to continue, and his face turns bright red. I think I'm falling in love with you. I felt like I was falling and I stare at him open mouthed. This can't be happening. I pull my hand away from his and push my hands into my hair, breathing hard. No Seth. I say firmly. He blinks. What? I can't believe I have to say it again. I take in a shuddering breath. No Seth. You can't love me. He watches me, his voice sounding hurt. Why not? I let out a scream of frustration. Just stay away from me. I whisper open the door, running through the rain and into my depressed house. I fling myself on the bed, sobbing. I can't believe I love Seth. I run out to my window and open it frantically. I cup my hands over my mouth and scream into the pelting rain, I love Seth Monroe! I squeeze the wet bars as rain soaked my face and hair. I spit the water out of my mouth and tilted my face to the sky. I might love Seth Monroe, but he can't ever love me.

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