Let me love you *Completed*

Amanda Wilson is a battered, beaten down girl who's just about had enough. She just wants it to be over and it's about to be, until a new kid comes into town. Seth Monroe. He can't figure out what's wrong with her, why she won't open up, why she can't let him love her. Is Amanda to broken to open up?


21. Notes

I leave my hair loose, putting on short shorts and a tank top. I pull on my gray beanie- the one that gave me ideas. As I get out my paper and pens, my door gets thrown open. Amanda! My dad roars. I cower against the ground. Y...yes? He sees my wrists and laughs. You cut yourself? He sees the blade sticking out of my bag and he yanks it out. You are so pathetic, you know that, right? He moves closer and I flinch. Don't. Move. He growls and shoves his hand down my underwear. I breathe hard and fast as he fingers me. I stare straight into his eyes as tears trail down my cheeks. His smile grows wider as his other hand trails up my shirt and gropes my boobs. I felt utterly numb. I was gonna die in three hours. What was the point? I feel a sick smile on my face until he lets go. He gets up and leaves, not another word. I start writing my letters.

Dear Dad,

I hate you. I hate your fucking, shitty guts. You beat me, not to mention raped me when I was fifteen. Go to hell where you belong.

Your daughter,

Amanda E. Wilson

Dear Seth,

I love you more than anything I've ever loved in my life. You're the reason why I contemplated doing this. I love you. I hope you find someone better than me and you better love her with every thing in your body. I'll see you until not much later I hope.

Love your girlfriend,

Amanda E. Wilson

I tape the best picture of myself of the corner of the note. I was wearing my vibrant blue beanie and my brown hair was straightened. The light was shining in my face and I had a small smile, my eyes looking silvery and sparkled.

Dear Olivia,

You are my best friend. I love you so much. I know you didn't want me to do this, and I want you to understand that this world is too much for me. I can't take it, and I'm sorry.

Your best friend,

Amanda E. Wilson

Dear Clare, Anna Grace, and Erin,

You are the reason I cut. But not the reason I killed myself. Don't bully anybody else; you don't understand.


Amanda E. Wilson

Dear Mrs. Childers,

You were always my favorite teacher.

Lots of love,

Amanda E. Wilson

I seal up the envelopes and mail them, putting my dad's letter under his bed. Heart pounding, I fire off my last text to Seth.

Amanda: remember pretty boy, I love you, you're sexy, and your blue eyes make me melt.

Seth; baby, I'm nothing compared to your gorgeous. Your silver eyes are magical, and your style is smooth. You are so sexy I love you too.

I hold back my tears as I fire off my last message to Olivia.

Amanda: love you forever sister💗

Olivia: love you more honey💗💗💗

I pull on my favorite red sweatshirt and patterned tights, straightening my hair and fitting my gray beanie over my head. I look in the mirror at my stunning eyes one more time. Your daughter could have your gray eyes and Seth's light hair. I think. Live to see your children. I shake my head and silently apologize to what could've been my future children. When I plunge the knife in my stomach, I have one last thought. One last name for my daughter. Willow.

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