Lost

I walk down the street hoping to find a place to sleep. Wait I should not start like that should I? Sorry I am not very good with words. I guess that's my dad's fault, he is the reason I don't trust anyone. Ok my name is Blair, which also means plain, I guess it makes since because my dad named me. My mother died when I was born. So sadly I had to deal with my dad. It wouldn't have been as bad if he actually gave a fuck. No he had to raise me as a drunken asshole with no life and no future going his way. Like seriously he needs to get a life, and stop ruining mine. Ok now that I have told you some things about my life, I should probably explain how I got to finding a place to sleep. If you want to stick around you will find out.

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1. chapter 1

I walk back to my house hoping my dad is not there, i have suffered enough at school today. Devon and Izzy have given me enough, well I hope. "hey slut" ugh not again, haven't they torcherd me enough? I just keep walking hopeing they will just leave me alone and go away. "hey! I was talking to you!" I guess they didn't have enough today. I roll my eyes and look back at them, "what do you need" I try to say in my nicest voice without showing my anger, i did that once, didn't turn out so well. lets just say I was in the hospital for a while. I tried my best to smile but I bet it made me look constipated. I won't lie I am very afraid of them, but since I am near my house i might be able to run away and not get hurt, for now. but they would end up getting me worse at school, so i deside against it. They both take steps towards me as i take steps back. " come on Blair don't be scared" Devon or should i say devil smirks. "Yeah we are not going to hurt you" Izzy teases. I guess you could call Izzy and Devon the jocks of the school. All the girls but me are like flawing over them, I mean they see what they do to me, i just don't get how they like them. The only girl they have not fucked is me and thats never going to happen. They keep getting closer and pretty soon I will be against the wall. I need to get out of there, and fast. "Hey!" Izzy shouts as i start to run. "get back here bitch" Devon roars. I don't dare turn back, I am to scared that they will catch up to me. I hear heavy footsteps behind me, this can't be good. I try to run faster but my I am already to late. They cought up to me, shit. I get pushed againsed the closest wall and my head smacks against the concreate. I take my hand and bring it to the back of my head, yup definetly bleeding. I start to cry, I shouldn't have even tried to get away from them, i mean they are fast, really fast, not to mention they work out, well whenever they are not bothering me anyway. My heart is thumping and its getting harder to breath, it feels like my lungs are clogged up.

My vision is blurry from all of the hot fresh tears. I wipe my eyes with my tears and i see Devon and Izzy looking down at me smirking. I sniffle, "w-what do you want?" I studder, damn me and my nervous studdering. "n-nothing" Devon mocks me. Izzy just keeps smirking. I look down and a hand forcefully shoving a finger on my chin so i can look at them. Izzy then smacked me accrossed the face when i looked up at them. My make-up is probably all smeared which will make them pick on me even more. I then got kicked in the stomach, and punched in my side. That force made me fall down to my knees. "get up slut we are not finished yer" Devon says kicking me again. I try to get up so hopefully thye wont do to much more. I started to cough and to no suprise there was blood, like always. I was finally able to get up and i was just pushed back down and hit my head on the tar. i think I heard a crack in my knee. Everything hurts so bad I can't feel anything.

I wonder what my mom is thinking, I bet she thinks i am a slut to, Maybe even a Bitch, thats all I am, a usless person just taking up space on the earth, everyone tells me, even my dad. I am sobbing right now and i feel slimy liqud fall from the boy's above me mouth, they just spit on me, the usual, they do it about everytime they do this, its not differnet. I slowly started to fall asleep well kinda blackout i feel things coming down on me, its raining, i can't get up though, its to hard. Izzy and Devon are still kicking me and i am hopeing they will just get me so I will die already. i am hearing faint voices in the background but i already know who it is, Devon and Izzy, I think they want me to get up, i cant though. I keep closing my eyes slowly, I am going to pass out soon, Hopefully it will be long enough for Izzy and Devon to go away. I smile a little because I know in a few seconds i will be under and wont feel the pain for a while, I just hope i dont get hypothermia. Now, here it comes. thats the rest I remeber before my world went into blackness. As i awoke it was pouring rain. Now i could feel all the pain that Izzy and Devon caused. I try to stand up and to my ability i accually can, but my knee hurts like hell. I start to make my way back home. Oh joy. I just get on my doorstep and notice my door is wide open, I walk in trying not to be noticed. I close the door and go into the living room seeing my dad passed out drunk on the couch. See my dad was not always bad, he used to be a loving and caring dad until my mom passed. Now all he does is drink and yell at me telling me how much of a waste of space I am and how i should have died and not his wife. I start to walk up the stairs to my room when i hear my dad call for me. I know this cant be good. Hopefully he just wants me to get him a beer or something and not hurt me, again. I walk into the living room once again, "yes dad" i try to say in my most cheery voice. "hey darlin" my dad slurs, I can smell his acholic breath from here. i just look at him waiting for him to say something else. "where were you?" he asks. I scoff, like he cares. "i was.... out" i say trying not to give to much away. "well you should have been here, i just had this amazing girl over, she was so good in bed, next time she comes over you are going to be here and help out" he says, as my mouth opens wide. He seriously cant mean he wants me to basically fuck him and some chick. not happening. " I can't help with that dad, sorry" i say trying to walk away. He then grabs my arm, hard. "yes you are!" he screams in my face. "I am going to teach you some special moves now, so when she comes over you will know what to do" he says while his arm keeps going lower and lower near my pants. I start to cry, he has never done this before, EVER. i'm so scared. "no dad please, anything but this" i say trying to choke back the tears. "listen here you bitch" he says gripping my side, "you are going to help, you are worthless, this is the only thing that men are going to want from you, your an ugly bitch, you think make-up will help?" he laughs "not at all darling so if you want to have a good job as a stipper then i suppose you do this" he says. He pushes me on to my knees and pulls down his pants, thats it i cant take it anymore, this is to far. I push him down and run up to my room, shut the door and lock it. " you cant hide in there forever" he yells pounding on the door.

I dont listen i just go to the bathroom thats in my room and look for something that I am in need of big time right now, my old friend, i call him shiny, he has red stains all over him though. I look in the draw and pull out my blade, its getting dull, i am going to need a new one soon. I look in the mirror and then look down at my wrist. I can do this, it has been 3 days without you and i need you now. I pull the blade down my wist nice and slow, dont want to ruin the moment do we? "i have missed you" i tell shiny, then dig a little deeper, i scream out in pain but it all feels good. I pull up my shirt and write the word worthless in my stomach, becuase thats what i am, worthless, i have no meaning, my dad is right.

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