Divergent's Daughter [completed]

Hey, My name is Dani Eaton. I am an outsider...
That means I don't belong.
What do you do when you are the daughter of the two most famous Divergent? Danielle has a lot to live up to and a lot to hide...
She has the added issues of death and family riding on her shoulders.

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16. Sixteen

I sit alone in the dormitory. "Dani, you gotta come and see this!" I look up to see Sierra standing over me. "What is it?" I ask wearily. Sierra sighs. Panic covers her face. She drags me to my feet. "Just come!" I follow her out the door and round to the chasm. There is a crowd gathered round the edge. I barge through. Mutters surround me. I see a body on the floor. I recognise the soft black hair, the piercing blue eyes. Harrison.

I kneel down next to his body. "Harrison!" I whisper. His eyes flicker towards me. Alive. Just. "Sing!" He groans. Sing? I can't sing. I start to cry. The tears run down my face. What do I sing? A song we used to sing comes into my head.

Keeping me up on my feet was a love so complete
I have chased but never bettered
Everything seemed like it fell at our feet
Now she's out of my reach and there forever

And in the end I wished it all would burn
You are everywhere now you are gone
There's no stone left I have not found unturned

But like a tidal wave that never breaks
I will run and run and never stay
'Cause there's no way back, that I can face
And no one's come to take your place

I rest my head on Harrison's chest.

Sweeping me clean off my feet, you and me were so sweet
Now the taste has left me bitter
Memory lean only gets you one way
And that's back to the place and there forever

And in the end I wished it all would burn
You are everywhere now you are gone
There's no stone left I have not found unturned

But like a tidal wave that never breaks
I will run and run and never stay
'Cause there's no way back that I can face
And no one's come to take your place

Harrison's eyes close. Dead. My tears are heavier. I carry on singing.

You won't love, you won't love
You won't love

Like a tidal wave that never breaks
I will run and run and never stay
'Cause there's no way back that I can face
And no one's come to take your place

Keeping me up on my feet was a love so complete
I have chased but never bettered

I have lost my Harrison. My child has lost their father. I rest my lips on his. One last time. One last kiss. I feel someone pulling me away from him. I struggle against their strength. They succeed and I find myself resting, weeping in Clese's arms. His hand strokes my hair as I cry into his chest. They take Harrison away in a body bag. "No!" I cry as his body is taken past me, "Don't take him!" Clese keeps a firm grip on me. He won't let me go, however hard I struggle. I want to stare into his eyes again. His deep blue eyes. Sometimes, I used to look into them and imagine the ocean. The raging stormy ocean. I used to imagine ships in the ocean battling the storm, fighting the tidal waves. I was the ship. Harrison was the ocean. The force that ruled all, defeated all. He defeated me. He defeated himself. The oceans waves had fought each other. None could win. Harrison was dead. He killed himself.He jumped off the edge of the chasm.

Every year some defeated poor soul does it. Every year some family loses a member. Every year I get to see their devastation. Now I own that devastation. Now I am ruined.

+++



"Dani," Sierra's hand touches my shoulder. "I know how you feel!"

"You say that but do you mean that?"

"Dani I mean it. My brother did the same as Harrison when he was our age."

"I always thought Alfie died of natural causes!"

"I couldn't face the truth. Not 'till now."

"I don't think I'll ever face the truth."

"Why?"

"Because it was my fault! Harrison and I had an argument and I said that I wished he was dead!"

"Dani, you think Harrison knows not to listen to that  stuff. I think I know why he... died though!"

Sierra's eyes move to my belly. I place my hand on the lump. I know she's right.  Sierra puts her arms round me and then leaves the room. I lay my head on the pillow and kick of my shoes. I swings my legs onto the bed and roll over. I bury my face in the pillow and picture Harrison's dead body. His fadings skin and dying eyes. I sing once again.

But like a tidal wave that never breaks
I will run and run and never stay
'Cause there's no way back, that I can face
And no one's come to take your pl-place...

I break down. I can't stand the guilt, the horror, the reality. What if I could reverse time. Change what had happened. Live the life I'd dreamed of. If only...

There is a knock on the door. I sit up and wipe my eyes. "Come in!" I say. The door opens slowly and I see my parents standing in the doorway. "What d'ya want?" I ask, perhaps a little too harshly. "Dani," Dad says, "I don't blame you. I know... well I don't really know, but I can understand how you feel. Dani I want you to know I am always gonna be here for you. No matter what." His eyes quickly divert to my stomach and I stand up. I run up to him and fall into his arms. I feel him and mum surround me. Engulf me and my sorrow. Can I live with this hell? 

 

 

Here is a link to the song featured in this chapter:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Ir3NIz8O8

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