Drarry oneshots

A series of Drarry oneshots. Don't like, don't read.
Warning: there could be some minor (or not so minor) swearing and other such things. Also some AU. Um...I think that's it for the warning...

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8. Amnesia

Warning: Attempted suicide.

__________

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me your doing fine

I looked out the window of the Manor, watching as the rain pounded on the glass. My thoughts immediately drifted to Harry. I tried to think of something else, anything else, but to no avail. I remembered every little detail of our time together.

I'd struck up a friendship with Hermione during the time that me and Harry had...Merlin it was hard to think that word now...dating. Every once in a while, she would come to the Manor to tell me what she did at work or...how Harry was. He was now dating Oliver Wood. Sometimes I wondered if he even remembered us. 

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you do you read the ones I wrote you?

I looked at the firewhisky in my glass, not able to bring myself to lift up my hand and bring the glass to my lips. I was a mess and I knew it. I hadn't slept in days, and when I did, my dreams were plagued by memories of our time together, of me and Harry. I wondered how he was doing. Was he happy? Did he ever think of me?

I knew that it was unhealthy what I did to myself. A self mocking smile graced my lips. Why would Harry ever think of me, the Death Eater spawn? After all, he was the Golden Boy, the Boy-Who-Lived-To Defeat-Voldemort-Again. 

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

Sometimes I wondered whether Harry had ever truly loved me, whether all those times he had said those three words were true. After all, if they were, how could he be happy already? How could he have forgotten it all?

Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the makeup running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made

Memories flashed behind my eyes. Memories of Harry that night after the Ministry Gala, screaming at me when he saw the Dark Mark, accusing me of denying I had ever taken it, accusing me of lying to him. Harry, his breathtaking emerald eyes outlined with kohl, the dark makeup mixing with his tears and tracing black lines down him face.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

Cause I'm not fine at all

I stared out of the window. It was something I did often now that Harry was gone. I had nothing to do, so I spent my days sitting in an armchair staring at the sky, picturing every moment we had together over and over again in my head, wondering what I could have done to prevent what had happened.

The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone
I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone
And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around

It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long

I still have pictures of Harry all around the Manor. They smile at me and wave every time a pass them. Every time I see them, it breaks my heart a bit more, yet I still keep them. I like seeing them, it's the only tie I have to Harry now.

Pansy and Blaise always ask me why I'm never out of the Manor anymore, why I never even let them see me. To be honest, the only person I've seen since the breakup is Hermione, and only a few times when she decides I need to eat. What is the appeal of eating, of going out, if you have no one to enjoy the food or the music or anything else with?

Sometimes I read the news paper just to see how Harry are doing. There are many photographs of him and Wood in the papers. It's hard to see him so joyful, to see that he has moved on after only three months when I am here all alone in this dreary Manor, but I love him enough to be happy for him.

It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

I wonder if it was all a dream. Did me and Harry really have a relationship? Or was it all part of my imagination? I don't really know anymore. Everything is a blur to me. I haven't left the Manor at all. All I do day after day after day is sit and stare out the window, lost in my musings.

Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving 
I remember the makeup running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Just like every single wish we ever made

I remember what we talked about. Harry's goal had been to open another hospital in Wizarding Britain to provide jobs for many of the new mediwizards that couldn't find a place in Saint-Mungos to work because it was already over staffed. I still have Harry's plans and papers about it in my study. He never took them with him. Just like me, they are useless to him now.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep nest to you
And the memories I never can escape

If today I woke up with you right beside me
Like all of this was just some twisted dream
I'd hold you closer that I ever did before
And you'd never slip away
And you'd never hear me say

I yearn to have Harry back, to be able to hold him when I fall asleep. If by some miracle Harry showed up, I would never let him go, not ever again. That was my worst mistake. I'd let him go. When he'd seen the Dark Mark, I hadn't stopped him from leaving, hadn't explained to him it was either take the Mark or suffer a fate worst than death. No, I just watched as he angrily packed his bag, tears streaming down his face, and stormed out, not even looking back.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving 
I remember the makeup running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Just like every single wish we ever made

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep nest to you
And the memories I never can escape

I held the vial full of purple liquid in front of my face, examining it. It was the strongest poison know to man, basilisk venom. It had taken me forever to find a vial since it was very rare, but now I had some and I could end it all. I wouldn't have to think of Harry ever again, I wouldn't have to live with the knowledge that he was disgusted with me.

I pulled out the stopper, dropping in to the ground. Slowly, I lifted the vial of precious liquid to my lips.

Cause I'm not fine at all
No, I'm really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
Cause I'm really not fine at all

"Draco, NO!" 

I recognized that voice. Harry.

The vial dropped from my hands, smashing onto the ground and shattering, spilling venom on the expensive carpet. I turned my head to look toward the floo. Harry was standing there. Harry. Harry. Harry. 

"Why did you stop me?" I managed to say, tears blurring my vision.

Harry didn't answer. Instead he walked towards me, and unknown emotion burning fiercely in his eyes. I took a step back in fear.

And then his lips were on mine.

"I'm sorry." he whispered when we pulled back. "I never stopped loving you."

And just like that, my entire life felt worth living again. I had my Harry back and I was never letting him go.

__________

A/N: This is my second songfic. The song is "Amnesia" by 5sos. I know the song is supposed to have a sad ending but this fic already has much more angst that I'm used to so I decided to add a happily ever after (that and I can't bear Drarry be torn apart, it just breaks my heart). I hope you guys enjoyed it anyways!

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