The first time I met him

This is just a series of short novels I'm writing about my life and people in it.
I hope you'll enjoy. [:


1. The first time I met him

I remember the first time I met him. 
He was tall, bearded and handsome in a sort of mature but childish way. 
With blue shining eyes. Wearing short blue shorts and a white shirt. I remember feeling ever so warm. 
He had the mysterious kind of air about him. Maybe because he was absolutely off limits. 
I got to talk to him, and laugh with him. And the more I was around him, the more the feelings I didn't even knew I could feel began to increase. 
Being around him was so easy, so real. It was almost painfull. 
Everyday was better than the one before. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the weather was perfect, a little too hot although I do not know if that was that suns fault. It might have been a different kind of sun. 
One day I was so fortunate as to have the company of this man for an entire night. We fought, we laughed, we cuddled. For the first time for just a small moment no bad thoughts existed. 
Then he went away, but the clutching in my chest didn't. 
I tried desperately to control and suffocate these feelings. But to no avail. I was already falling too hard. 
I thought I'd never see him again, and for a moment the thought almost seemed lethal. 
But luckily I got an invitation to go to the same party as him. 
See, being nervous was the understatement of the century. 
It was tormenting having to wait over a month to be close to this figure again. 
I didn't know what to do with myself. All I could think of was How do I conceal this, how do I not feel this. The day draw closer. 
And then it was there. And there he was again. Looking so dazzling I could have forgotten everything around me was it not for the almost torturing speed of my heartrate. 
I honestly cannot recall much of that day. Except for blue alcohol, incoherent thoughts and a smile to die for. 
The night approached with high speed, and I felt the utter panic of having to watch him leave again. But fate wanted it differently. 
Later. Much much later, that same night under the stary sky. I found myself on a bench, cold to the bone but still burning all over, with the most incredible creature in my lap. 
What he was doing and how he'd gotten there, was a puzzle to me. But I wasn't about to stop and ask. 

For the second time in my life, I found myself surrounded by him, and I could not quite grasp how I had ever deserved this. 
He held my hand, and it fit so perfectly in mine. I was trying so hard to grasp this person, to understand him. But it was impossible. Being near him was a blessing and a curse. 
Every touch was torture, every whisper was poison. Every breath was a gift and every look was life. The moment his lips touched mine, everything exploded. In that agonizingly short moment I felt my heart break into a millions of shards and finally fit back together. 
And at that moment I knew there was absolutely no way back. 
I was irrevocably, undeniably and completely in love. 
This creature in front of me, this absolutely ordinary boy, that was in no way just ordinary. 
He was the most frightening figure I've ever met, he was the most calming person, the most easy to be with, and yet the complete opposite. So handsome, so indesribably indesribable. I just knew it was him. It had to be him. Nobody else. 
I desperately needed to be by his side. Through it all.
I had to be the reason for that smile. I had to give a reason for that smile. 
I had to be with him to be alive. 

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