50 SHADES OF BIZZLE♛

Karmin Chapman is a high school student who is in love with her bestfriend Cait boyfriend Justin Bieber who she's madly in love with they end up together and things get rougher than it already is.

83Likes
90Comments
96535Views
AA

49. What She Would've Wanted

Justin ended up leaving the hospital. Eric came in I smiled and held out my arms for a hug. We started hugging for about a good minute before pulling away. "I know you called him up here" I said "Yeah, thought he should know. He thought that I did something to you I wouldn't dare do anything to you Karmin" "I know, me and your mom was just eating breakfast and I just fell out" "Maybe because of stress. Should I call Micheal" he asked and I chuckled. "No, it's just in the past there was a lot going on I want to change it but there's something holding me back" "We aren't given a good or bad life. And it's up to you to make it a good one" he said.              

           Justin's POV  

A week passed a lot of things happened in the past week. Karmin passed away, it happened when we met up together, her and Eric decided to break up and become friends, she was still sad about the whole thing so she was on her way over to my place to tell me something. She was getting better after a few days trying to stay happy and doing what's best for her and Jordan, she got into a car accident and was badly injured. I've always thought to myself saying it's my fault for everything that's happened to her and everything I put her through. It'll be hard for Jordan to grow up without a mom.  "Justin get up" mom said opening the curtains having the sun shine on me. I put a pillow over my face burying myself into the covers. "You can't keep doing this. You have to move on"  "It's my fault" I said. I heard her sigh sitting next to me on the bed taking the pillow away. "It's not your fault stop saying that. It was a car accident, you treating her like shit wasn't the cause of it" "I'm not ready to move on, I put her through so much and didn't know how much I hurt her it is my fault and I can't take it back because she's gone all because of me, i'm so stupid. I'm not letting her go because I was so dumb telling her I didn't love her and I knew how much she loved me. I just thought of her as a piece of ass that had my babies, I can never forgive myself for that. Now Jordan is going to grow up without a mother it's my fault." I said "No it's not. And you did hurt Karmin but she was getting better, it wasn't because of you and it wasn't because of Eric. He probably feels the same way as you. It wasn't his fault or yours, if she was still here she would've told you the same thing"  "I miss her, I would do anything to get her back but, I can't do that. I just need time"  "Okay. But you have to get up get ready and come down for breakfast" she said leaving. I climbed out of bed going to the bathroom running my shower letting the water pour over me. Getting out putting my clothes on brushing my teeth looking in the mirror, I seen Karmin. "I'm happy Justin, don't beat yourself up over this"   "You're gone, it's my fault" I said "No it's not you're overreacting, Jordan is in your hands. I'm happy Justin and I haven't felt this way in a long time it's nice to know you miss me" she said chuckling. "I'm so sorry about everything. I wish you were here"  "I know" "At least you're with your parents and Drew. Is that why you're happy" "Not really well a little I mean, i'm happy to see how you really feel about me" "What about Eric" I asked  "He was a good person we loved each other but we wanted what was best for each other"  "Did you two break up because you still had feelings for me" I asked  "I guess so. I know you didn't love me but that doesn't change how I still feel about you. That's what I wanted to tell you. I know I gave you a lot of chances but taking chance is knowing how great it can turn out to be. I know I scared you with the whole wanting to be with my parents and everything and I get that, and i'm also sorry"  "I was a jerk that cheated on you and made you feel terrible about yourself"  "I know but I forgive you for all of that, I wanted to start all over" "Me too" I said. I left the bathroom going downstairs sitting at the table eating. I learned something, life is about taking chances it's nice to know that Karmin and I were about to get together but it sucks to know that she isn't here anymore. I picked Jordan up sitting her on my lap kissing her head. After breakfast I got Jordan cleaned up and ready to go. We went by the cemetery laying flowers on Karmin's grave. "Thought you wouldn't be here" Eric said   "I'm here everyday surprised you're here"   "Yeah well I also thought it was my fault too, things wasn't working out I mean I really loved her and I wanted to help her"  "I know she was happy with you" I said "Yeah we both were but seemed as she still was in love with you. It's normal to still be in love with your first love"  "Yeah. I may be crazy but I talk to her most of the time"  "You're not crazy Justin I talk to her too, it's heartbreaking Jordan grows up without a mom"   "Yeah, she reminds me of her I guess things will be okay though, how are you holding up"  I asked "Work isn't the same without her she would always come to my office to talk or I would go to hers, we all miss her she's a caring person" he said  "That's true. I wish there was a time machine to go back and fix everything but that's not gonna happen"  "What if she did come back what would you do" he asked "Make things better than before, what would you do" I asked and he shrugged. "I still love her, do you love her"  he asked "At first I didn't but now that I know how she really feels about me, it feels like I do. Love is the most powerful thing to me and I love being in love it's a great feeling. I never thought what it would feel like"  "She's a great person she loves both of us still but she loves you more"  "No, i'm sure she loves you more. You didn't cheat on her you told her that you loved her and you meant it" I said   "Yeah but, there's something about you that makes her love you more. At first I didn't like you because of how much shit you've caused but, I understand why you were afraid and it's okay to be afraid"  "No wonder she liked you, I was jealous you two looked really happy together, I was afraid you two would get married and take Jordan away from me" "I would never do that, she's yours I get that, I wouldn't want another guy trying to take my child away from me either" "Nice of you to say that. The other day when Karmin was at the hospital and you told me about myself, I appreciate you saying that no one has ever told me about myself before not even my friends. It really opened my eyes and realize something, about how horrible of a person I am to treat a girl that really loves me bad. I didn't mean to hurt her I was just afraid to hurt myself, there's a lot of things I regret doing to her but I can't take it back because it's done and it's to late to change it"  I said "It's okay to feel guilty i've been doing that to since she passed"  "We can't always do that, feeling guilty. I love Karmin and I wish I didn't tell her I didn't love her because it was a stupid thing to do"  "You do and say stupid shit all the time I bet she understands that" he said and I chuckled.  "I would give anything up just to have her back"  "It doesn't go that way we all think that but it's not gonna happen. You can't love a person back to life" he said "Yeah, I really thank you for talking to me, my mom isn't really helping. She told me to move on"  "Sometimes it's best to move on, it doesn't mean you can forget them" "Have you moved on" I asked  "I don't want to but, I have to it's what she would've wanted. I gotta go I hope everything will be okay with you and Jordan" "Me too" I said he walked off I sighed picking Jordan up walking back to the car. I guess it would be what Karmin would've wanted.   

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...