50 SHADES OF BIZZLE♛

Karmin Chapman is a high school student who is in love with her bestfriend Cait boyfriend Justin Bieber who she's madly in love with they end up together and things get rougher than it already is.

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42. Separation

Yesterday was pretty rough. I woke up Justin wasn't in bed. I looked in Jordan's room she was gone, didn't smell breakfast. Instead I fixed breakfast for myself.I took a shower slipping on a cute dress curling my hair brushing my teeth adding some red lipstick, grabbing my phone off the charger slipping my heels on going to the airport. I seen a private jet getting out the car I hopped on the jet sitting down. "Champagne?" The flight attendant asked.   "Thanks" I said grabbing a glass. She walked away, I buckled up taking a sip of my champagne.  "Good morning" Eric said   "Morning, you look nice"   "So do you, are you ready"  "Yeah" I said. When the jet took off me and Eric didn't talk I actually didn't feel like talking instead I stared out the window.  "What's wrong" he asked   "Nothing" "It's something you haven't talked"  "Me and Justin got into an argument last night, he's supposedly going to New York finding if he's the father of another girls baby"   "Whoa. That's- that's interesting" he said  "Yeah. One day I'm going to end up breaking, just not today" I said  "I may not know your past but are you afraid to leave Justin because he's the only you have" he asked and I looked at him.   "Yes" I said with watery eyes trying to hold back the tears looking back out the window cleaning my face.   "You don't have to be ashamed of telling the truth, love hurts and sometimes they say you can only fall in love once but I can tell every time he looks at you he falls in love all over again. Justin might show he doesn't care how you feel but he does." He said "I'm sure it was just a little silly argument that you both will get over" he added  "Yeah. I guess" I said. When the jet landed we both got off hopping inside the limo waiting for us. "I've never been to Las Vegas" I said   "Well I guess today is your lucky day"  "Why didn't you ask anyone else to come with you"  "We're close. We're friends right"  "Yeah, but is that the only reason why it isn't because you like me right"  "No, it wasn't because I like you i'm sure you wanted to join anyways even if I didn't ask"  "That's true" I said. The limo stopped in front of a tall building we got out walking inside into the elevators.  "Nervous" I asked  "No i'm never nervous since you're here it should be easy"  "Yeah sure you aren't nervous" I said fixing his tie. "You're gonna do great I can guarantee you that"  "I know i'll do great don't worry about me"  "Alright well fingers crossed" I said. We stepped out the elevator going to the conference room. When the meeting was over we spent the rest of the day shopping, we got a hotel to spend the night in. It was really nice Eric offered me his shirt to wear, I changed out of my dress sliding his white shirt on taking my heels off going into the kitchen eating dinner staring at my phone. "He hasn't called"  he asked "Or texted" I said hiding my face in my hands.  "He'll end up calling i'm sure he couldn't stay mad at you"  "I guess he's giving me the silent treatment, I honestly don't want to be married what was I thinking"  "What are you trying to say? You don't want to be married to him anymore?" He asked   "It's not that, i'm just tired of all this marriage stuff having a baby was a mistake and I hate myself for that sometimes I want to start all over and have fun I love my daughter but being a parent stinks sometimes I want to cry because I can't start all over. Thanks for inviting me"  "No prob thought you needed to get out the house with your husband drama. You're gonna end up getting enough"  "You were right about everything you said, he's gonna continue hurting me and I don't deserve this. I just wanna be happy without doubting myself y'know i'm trying my best"  "Yeah, but you have to make the best of it, he's a pop star doesn't care about anything but himself" he said. I cleaned my face taking a deep breath, Eric hugged me taking a deep breath kissing my head.   "Have you realized that every time he does something wrong and you want to leave he ends up apologizing" "Yeah i've noticed" I said looking up at him. "What am I gonna do" I added and he shrugged.   "Make things better for the both of you and if he continues being an ass then leave. I'm pretty sure you don't want to keep going back and forth with him for the rest of your life it's not healthy to keep doing that, it'll make things worse for you, I know you love him and he's the only person for you but you can't do this. It's time to move on with your daughter and be happy for the both of you...it's just what I would do" He said. The next day when I got home Justin was in bed sleeping with Jordan by his side. He woke up rubbing his eyes sitting up.  "You're leaving" he asked   "Yeah"  "Do you love him"  "We're just friends Justin. I can't go through this any longer i'm having doubts about myself and it isn't making me feel so good"  "He isn't mine Karmin"  "That's good, you can come visit Jordan whenever you like. Face it you don't love me it was just because I had your baby and had sex with you"  "What difference does it make"  "All the difference in the world" I said grabbing Jordan.  "Not this again, is this because of our little argument last night i'm sorry okay but what I said was true"   "Mines was to. We didn't show Drew how happy we would be without him we failed, we both said we loved each other but the difference is I didn't lie to you" I said leaving. A few months passed I moved back into my parents house. Justin and I split up we needed some time apart, I got into college still working for Eric. Jordan is now 1 years old walking and talking. It's been hard for the both of us about Justin and I splitting apart.  I was cooking dinner. I wasn't the best cook but I was working on it, the doorbell rung I went to answer it seeing Chaz I smiled and hugged him letting him inside.   "How are you" he asked   "I'm good. What made you come over"  "Just checking on you i'm sorry about you and Justin he's just loosing his mind I don't know why he would put a amazing person like you through so much and there's already a lot on your plate. He'll figure out what he wants"  "Yeah, he told me he loved me but I fell for it"  "He was lying to you" he asked   "Obviously, it was because I had his baby and gave good head my boss told me to leave him because if I didn't it'll just get worse so that's what I did and i'm happy I did it y'know, have some time with my daughter i'm in college have a job I didn't think I would make it this far in life without my parents"  "They're always with you Karmin every step of the way even Drew is proud of you, even though you and Justin didn't work out there's always gonna be someone that loves a person so much as the other"  "Yeah, I know thanks for coming over I thought I lost everyone when Justin and I split"  "You didn't Pattie, Jeremy and everyone else misses you"  "What about Justin" I asked   "He's just confused right now not doing so good he knew you were gonna leave him again that's why he's so calm about it. He wants to start over he thinks that family is the most important thing right now"  "Well he gets to see Jordan. I don't think we could ever be a family again I honestly couldn't take it with him"  "I understand i'm happy to see you, you're taking this better than I thought and you look great"  "Thanks. I'm happy to see you to surprised. Ryan didn't come" "He was gonna come with me but he had to see how Justin was doing, are you two friends or something"  "Justin and I are complicated I don't know what we are, we haven't spoken since Jordan's birthday which was four months ago. Is he still having sex with plenty of girls?" I asked  "No he's concentrating on his music now thank god he keeps himself busy. Are you seeing someone like Eric?"  He said smiling. "Eric and I decided to just be friends he's a good guy but seems that i'll be a little desperate to date a 23 year old besides I don't think i'll be dating for a while did Justin tell you to ask me that"  "Kinda, don't worry I won't say anything to him about it. Are you still talking to Cait"  "A little I think she told me to cheat on Justin with Eric so she could get to Justin but I don't know. I like Eric I think about him all the time but i'm afraid to be in a relationship again"  "Because you think the same thing will happen to you when you and Justin were together" he said  "Yeah. But I understand that not every guy is like that just scared to fall in love"  "It happens. Love hurts" "True" I said  "I'm happy you haven't reached your breaking down point y'know with everything happening" "Yeah. I'll just have to live with it there will be a day but not now"  "Alright well call me if you need anything" he said and I nodded almost starting to shed tears. He hugged me and I hugged back.  "Don't cry things will get better"   "Could you stay with me just for the night"  "Yeah, of course" he said and I smiled. After dinner I put Jordan to bed, I snuggled up with Chaz.  "Thank you for spending the night" I said  "No problem it's not like we're having sex or anything"  "Yeah, goodnight" I said falling  asleep. The next day I woke up Jordan was by the bed holding her little sock money in her arms I smiled and sat up.  "What are you doing" I asked picking her up giving her kisses on her face making her laugh waking Chaz up. "Shit what time is it" he asked stretching.  "It's just 7:10 want breakfast"  "No it's okay i'm just gonna go home and get cleaned up"   "Alright. I really appreciate you spending the night"  "That's what friends are for right. Oh and happy birthday" he said kissing my cheek leaving. I took a deep breath getting Jordan and I ready for the day. I dropped her off at Justin's and went to school and then going to work I drink plenty of coffee to help me stay awake. "Hey birthday girl" Eric said handing me a dozen of flowers. "Hey, thanks for the flowers"  "You're welcome seems like you didn't get any sleep. Are you okay"  "Yeah i'm fine. Just a little tired having class this morning and I have a test tomorrow it's exhausting you were right I can't do it"  "Don't mind what I said, you're gonna end up falling out lack of sleeping, you've proved to me you could do this and now that you proved that i'm worried about you maybe you should sleep early"  "Can't. I have to study tonight, make dinner, and put Jordan to bed"  "I'll come over make dinner and put Jordan to bed for you just so you can study and get to bed early"  "You wouldn't do that"   "I would. I guess you're not having any kind of fun on your birthday" "I never do it doesn't matter it's just a birthday"  "It's not just a birthday, it's a celebration of the day you were born you'll never get this day back. I guess you're gonna spend your birthday studying"  "I guess so, so what are you up to"  "Nothing, I didn't forget your birthday so I got you something I was gonna throw a surprise party but-" "No, no surprise party not any kind of party can we just act like this is a normal day because it is to me"  "It shouldn't it's your day"   "And as in my day I want to forget about it" I said "..How are you and Justin"  "Let's forget about him to"   "Alrighty then I guess i'll be going see you tonight" He said leaving I sighed and started to do my work. After I left I went by Justin's to go pick up Jordan. "You're Karmin right" a girl asked wearing one of Justin's shirts and I chuckled.  "Yes I am wheres my daughter"  "Oh Jordan she's- um let me go find her" she said walking away from the door. I crossed my arms taking a deep breath waiting, something was a little fishy I went upstairs opening Justin's bedroom door seeing him trying to put his clothes on. "Where's Jordan" I asked  "I don't know Kate is looking for her"  "Oh that's Kate the one you told me that she claimed you're the father of her son this is so funny. I could say so much about you but you're not worth it and you're not worth being a father instead you just screw any girl that possibly comes to your mind while my daughter is in the house, what were you two doing playing house with her" "It's not what it looks like can we just stop hating each other"  "I don't think so, I know you told Chaz to come over to my place and ask me if I was seeing someone it's none of your damn business who i'm dating. I'm getting full custody of Jordan, yeah, bye" I said walking out the room. "You are not taking my daughter away from me" he said grabbing me by my arm. "Don't touch me" I said snatching my arm out his grip going downstairs picking Jordan up.  "Bye" Jordan said waving her hand, I walked out the house sitting her in her car seat buckling her up closing the door. "Karmin I swear to god if you get full custody of her-"  "You'll what? You have nothing. I'm the one that was trying to give you chances after chances but you fucking blew it YOU BLEW IT NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY!!" I yelled. "I love her"  "Yeah, just like you told me you loved me but that wasn't true. Every day I think about what all you did we could've still be together but I couldn't handle anymore mistakes. That day Eric and I went to Las Vegas I called you but you never answered because of that small argument that night. I can't let you take away my pride i'm not the one you should be chasing after and i'm sorry I ever fell in love with you now that was the more horrible mistake I have ever made" I said getting into my car driving off. When I got home I was crying my eyes out, my phone kept vibrating Justin leaving tons of messages voicemails and phone calls. Jordan was sitting in front of the TV watching her favorite show. I got my books and started studying for tomorrow's test. I cleaned my face because the doorbell rung I got up hoping that wasn't who I thought it was.  "Thanks for coming" I said letting Eric in. "No problem have you been crying" "No"  "Yeah you have, I can look into your eyes and tell that you have whats wrong"  "Stupid Justin made me cry, but don't worry I won't be seeing him neither is Jordan, he's fucked in the head i'm happy you're here" I said hugging him.  "I know you're having a hard time moving on and with life things will never get better if you still talk to him"  "Well you don't have to worry about that anymore, unless he comes over he's been calling me and leaving me messages cause I told him I was going to get full custody of Jordan"  "Do you honestly wanna go through that with a lot of things on your mind" he asked   "I have no choice. Found out that he's sleeping with the girl that supposedly told him he was the father of her son it's all about money but it's not my problem, anyways again thanks for coming over I was just studying. What are you planning on cooking?" I asked  "It's a surprise thought I could make a special..birthday dinner"  "I told you to forget about my birthday" "You know I can't do that so suck it up" he said walking into the kitchen. I sat back down on the couch continuing studying.     

 
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