Just me

When the music stops is the only one left behind. Niall Horan...

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3. Another person

Hope found a guy to talk to. I sat just staring at the guy on stage. Was it really Niall Horan? I couldn't believe it, but I understood that it really was him. Niall didn't really look like the younger Niall Horan and he looked more like a homeless person. I could hear in his hoarse voice that he was Irish but it was a completely different voice against when he was with One Direction. He didn't have any burning embers in his eyes and he didn't think it was fun. I saw at him that he was sitting there, just because he could. He didn't even sang modern songs, only old songs of when we was young. I almost felt sorry for him.

 

Niall took a break. No applause and no one noticed that he left the chair. He went down to the bar, got a whiskey and he sat at the bar with the slumped body. I couldn't resist. I walked over to him. Niall hardly looked at me and he didn't seem to be social. 
"Do you want a song or what?" he got cold out from himself and swept the whiskey. I shook my head and tried to look normal. My body shook and actually, it was exciting to see him. 
"Niall Horan?" I got out of me. He looked up at me. I saw his wonderful blue eyes, but otherwise I didn't recognize him. He had a beard and he looked like an old man. I saw that hair sticking out from the hat, and I knew that he probably looked even more dishevelled out without the hat.
"I was listening to One Direction throughout my childhood." I said happily. Niall neither smiled or looked happy. He just stared at me and I saw that he could hardly care. 
"Congratulations." he muttered, looking down at the glass again. I don't know why, but I sat down on the chair next to him and I tried to look happy, even though he looked like a mad man. 
"I haven't heard anything about what happened to you and the others in the year." I said. "Are you here full-time?" 
Niall grunted. He took out a cigarette and lit it with a match. I saw how he took an inhale and he blew out the smoke. 
"I don't want to be rude." he mumbled. "But you can leave me alone. Been a long time since I was that big star and it's not my life anymore." 
I sighed and I remained seated. 
"Do you live here in town?"
Niall sighed and looked at me again. 
"You know something? I can't bother to be nice to you and I can't be social. Could you leave me alone?" 
I remained seated. I looked straight at him and I didn't listen to him. Somewhere in there was still Niall Horan and I liked that idea. I was curious about him and I wanted to know more. Where did he live? Did he have children and wife? 
"Do you still meeting Liam, Louis, Harry or Zayn?" 
Niall sighed. He smoked and he didn't answer my question. Instead, he ordered a new glass with whiskey and drank it all at once. He threw up some bills on the counter and then looked cold on me again. 
"Get out from here!" said he coldly. "I don't feel like talking to you and I'm not that fucking blond guy anymore. I'm thirty years old and I've moved on. Okay?"

 

I don't know what happened to me. I should have kept me away from Niall and I shouldn't have been interested. But he attracted me and I had more questions than answers when I came home at night. I really didn't want to miss the chance to talk to him again and I planned to go directly back to the pub. I would prove to him that I didn't give up so easily. I'd go there and talk to him, try to get him to open up and maybe that beautiful smile, that he had once had, would come back?

 

--

 

Niall saw me when I came into the pub. He sat with his guitar on the stage and he looked just as boring as before. I smiled and I sat down at the bar. Pub owner also recognized me and he came up to me. 
"Beer?" 
I nodded and smiled at him. He laughed a little bit and put the bottle in front of me. 
"You came here because of Niall?" 
I nodded and looked away towards the stage. 
"Yes, once, he was my hero and I loved him with all my heart. I listened to their music every day." 
He laughed. 
"It's a long time ago?" He extended his hand. "Simon, I own the pub." 
I took his hand. 
"Emily and I'm just me."
He laughed lightly and began wiping the bar. 
"He's no longer that happy guy. He's changed." 
I didn't care. 
"It's five years since they appeared the last time. I went to see them and I was actually sad when they broke up the group." 
Simon looked at me and he seemed to ponder. 
"There weren't many fans left in the end?" 
I looked at him. 
"I was left?"

 

When Niall had the break he came over to the bar. He looked gray on me and I saw that he wasn't happy that I had come back. 
"You don't give you?" he mumbled cold and sat at the same place as last time. I smiled and I moved to the chair next to him. 
"No, because I like you." 
He sneezed. 
"You don't know me and I ..." He then looked at me and frowned. "I'm no longer the same guy and I can't talk about what happened. Life goes on..." 
I smiled at him. 
"Good! So what are you doing these days? Where are you living?" 
Niall sighed. He took out a cigarette, lit it with a match and took a puff. 
"Why do you care?"
I continued to smile and I drank some of my beer. 
"You were my first love and I had my whole room filled with pictures of you. You was my childhood and it was you who made ​​me feel good." 
Niall sighed and he grunted. 
"Please stop talking about One Direction. I'm so damn tired of the topic and I'm no longer a blonde, sweet guy." 
I knew he wasn't the same person anymore, but I couldn't let him go. 
"I'm not the same girl anymore." I replied quickly happily. "I've also gotten older and I also have a completely different life. Nevertheless, one can still remember what was?"
Niall looked at me again and this time I really saw his eyes. I recognized them and I felt my heart skipped a beat. 
"I live in a place, an apartment." he muttered and then looked down at his hands. "I have no job but receive the rent here at the pub. Is that the truth you want to know? I'm alone and I have hardly any friends left and I'm a loser." 
I was serious. I saw that he was bitter and maybe it was because he was forgotten? 
"You're not a loser." I whispered and I meant the words. "You're just in the wrong place?"
He laughed a little bit and shook his head. 
"You have no idea about anything. I'm the loser and I haven't been misplaced. This is my lot in life and I'm happy with what I have."
I didn't trust his words. 
"No, you aren't satisfied." I said honestly. "You want something more but you can't be bothered to fight anymore." 
He was annoyed. 
"Don't you see what you do? You come here and think you know me." he looked at me and he was angry. "Can't you just shut up and leave me alone?" 
I shook my head. 
"No, because I care. I'm glad I met you and I don't mind that you aren't like before. You are still my idol, you're still my first love and you are more than you think."
Niall grunted and lit another cigarette. 
"Damn fucking bitch!" 
I saw at him that he was bitter. Yet I didn't care, I didn't care if he was so angry. 
"You did more for your fans than you remember." I said I was serious. "You got a girl in my class to stop cutting herself in the arm. You saved me by saying that I was good enough and you sang songs that got stuck." 
He didn't care. I tried to make eye contact. 
"When I was sad, I listened to your songs, and the only voice that I loved was yours. I saw you on You Tube and I followed you on Twitter. I lived a life that revolved around you. Don't tell me it's crap or that that blond guy is gone."

Niall looked at me. He looked at me for long and he seemed to ponder. 
"Ten years ago we were on top." he whispered. "It's five years since all betrayed us and now you sit and say I did something about things that I don't know anything about?" 
I didn't let him off with my eyes. 
"All you had to do was be there." 
He grunted. 
"And more? Today hardly a single person know who I am and no one cares about me anymore." 
I was annoyed. 
"You're selfish?" 
He snorted and laughed a little bit. 
"No!" 
I disagreed. 
"You sit and say that no one cares about you and that you aren't worth anything. But then do something about it, you can be damn sure that you will be remembered as Niall and not like a fucking selfish homeless idiot."
 

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