A letter to me.

Just a way to deal with mess. I'm keen to see what you all think!

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1. .

So now you’ve lived.

Did you like it?

Did it satisfy?

Recklessness is well known for its speed.

The happy pill left a nasty aftertaste.

You still crave it.

Living was not enough,

Because you only lived when

his tongue was in your mouth.

Did the joy of life outweigh this slow death?

Now he wiped his mouth and left you lying there,

You still obediently wait for the next time.

You claim you’ve learnt from the past.

You haven’t.

You’ve learnt to hurt just a little bit less.

So that maybe this time it will be bearable.

It isn’t. 

So then, another pill perhaps?

Or maybe the blade is your weapon this time.

Self destruction is easy.

Self respect is easy to lose. 

If only you could lose yourself.

Forget.

Wipe out.

Drown in oblivion and naivity.

If only.

Instead, you crawl out of bed after him,

Begging like a dog,

Maybe he’ll wait for you.

Maybe.  

Or perhaps you should run.

Not to oblivion.

Oblivion is an easy escape route.

He brings oblivion.

Run . Run from him. Run from living. Run to yourself.

Catch your fallen remains.

And mend.

 

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