Life's Twists

The ups and downs of life continue even when you are friends with celebrities. Between the lines of life and death, truths and lies, love and hate. Life can blur the lines and twist emotions.

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2. Regrets

Caitlyn's POV

Why doesn't she remember me? Now I have no one who I can talk to about anything. I can't tell the boys I like Harry, no one knows apart from Emmalee and now she's gone, in a way. She doesn't remember me. For gods sake she thought I was Eleanor! I just wish I had someone to talk to right now. I have family but they don’t speak to me. I suppose they’re still mad that I left at the age of 18 to live with the guy I loved most, Harry, but he has no idea of my feelings for him. I suppose they’re still mad that I didn’t go to the college they wanted me to go to because I moved here. That doesn’t matter though. I did for once what made me happy. I ran home to the apartment I shared with Harry. Emmalee and Louis used to live here as well until they has the twins. I couldn't take this pain anymore. Today was just a breaking point. I felt ugly,lonely,and I just felt like I wasn't good enough. I sat on my bed as I went through my twitter feed. Some fans had started a hate page for me, some fans were sticking up for me but I was in such a depressive mood I just felt like I had to read the abusive comments people wrote about me.

Go back to where you came from.

-NO ONE LIKES YOU SLUT!-

Just kill your self already.

That wasn’t even the half of it. There was so much more and it was so much worse.

I was crying at this point. I'd made up my mind. I was going to cut until I bled to death. I went to my room and rummaged through my cupboard until I found it. My blade!

I sliced my wrists angrily. The adrenaline rushing through me when I saw the pool of crimson red blood coming from me. It was a symbol of my pain and I had so much more that I had to let go. There is only so much a person can take in, and my body couldnt take anymore. I leaned my back against the cool tiles on the bathroom wall, my head tilting to the side. I breathed in the warm oxygen against my cold pale lips. I felt my body becoming cold like frostbite, my head weighed like an elephant, and my arm became numb like pins and needles. My eyes became heavy and I was almost into the darkness when a voice pulled me into the light.

"Caitlyn! Love where are you?" I tried to find my voice, but all that came out was air. The clumps on the stairs gave me all the conformation I needed that he was coming closer. My eyes became heavier, the darkness becoming my friend, reaching its hand out to me. I gave my hand to him and it wasn’t until Harry walked in, I was in the dark. I knew this would hurt him, but it hurt me more to know I was leaving behind the guy I was truly and madly in love with. In a way I wish he knew how I felt, but now he'd never know.

Harry’s POV

I saw her running out if the hospital and get in her car. Where could she be going? Maybe she's gone home. So I decided to check there first. I walked inside.

"Caitlyn! Love where are you?" I shouted I went up stairs and saw the bathroom door closed. I opened the door and saw her laying there on the floor at first I thought she was asleep.She looked so pretty like a little angle,but then my eye caught a razor blade lying next to her. I ran towards her and got down on my knees and then it hit me. She had committed suicide. I was in shock. I quickly dialed an ambulance and I held her in my arms she looked so fragile and beautiful I started screaming her name.

"CAITLYN! Hold on tight please! Just please don't give up, please! Tears were now running down my face I was so frustrated I couldn't do anything but wait for the ambulance. Why would she do this? Why suicide? I ran to her room and looked for a note a letter or something, anything at all!, in her room but I found nothing. I ran back to the bathroom and held her in my arms while trying to stop or slow down the blood flow until the ambulance arrived.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My leg vibrated nervously, as my body awaited to hear some good news. How did I not know this was going on? I could’ve been there for her. I Should’ve been there for her…but I wasn’t. I tried to find things around the waiting room that would take my mind off of sadness and regret of not telling her I loved her, but all I saw were people waiting. Waiting to see if the ones they loved would be okay. Caitlyn had to be okay or I wouldn’t forgive myself. I should have told her let her know that I was there for her let her know that she hadn't lost Em for good and that I completely loved her and she would never be alone.

Emmalee's POV

Finally! I was getting discharged. Took them long enough. I hope I can see Caitlyn, I just want to start a friendship, or remember our original friendship. Louis walked me down the halls of the hospital. As we passed the waiting room I saw Harry.

"Harry what are you doing?" I asked.

"It's Caitlyn, she.. She" he sobbed he couldn't finish his sentence properly,"she just didn't stop. The blood wouldn't stop. I should have been there for her. I love her and I don't know if I'll ever get to tell her that!" He continued as Louis hugged him.

"Caity will be okay." Louis assured Harry.

"You don't know that!" He half sobbed half shouted.

"CAITY!" I shouted and ran into her room.

"Wake up Caity. I'm sorry I let you down. Just wake up for me I'm here now." I sobbed. How could I not remember her she is my best friend we've been through so much together. It was my fault she was here, I was the one she turned to for help and I wasn't there for her. The doctors escorted me out telling me I needed to go home as I walked out the door I heard Harry's name get called. I hope she is alright.

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