The Fan Girl

For the first time...
I felt free,
like no one could touch me,
he was mine,
and I was his fan girl...

but you have to wake up sometimes

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2. The Coffee Can

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Be-*

I groaned in annoyance as my alarm clock woke me up from my dream, yet again with its unbearable sound.

The best part? It's Monday....that means school...which means high school math....which leads to stuck up girls...continuing on to disgusting flirty guys...then having to go to gym....which then leads you eyes to death, having to see Mr.Bakes, our gym teacher, in short shorts...should I go on?

I sighed walking to the bathroom with my eyes almost completely shut...as you can tell I'm not a mourning person...or a school person...or a peoples person.

This my routine every mourning;

Get up,
Go to the bathroom,
Have a quick shower,
Get dressed,
Then walk to school,


It's that simple...and yes, it's THAT boring.

When I was small getting up and going to school was the best thing ever...but of course I'm 18 now, and everything has changed...along with the people...and the faces.

I pulled the brush through my natted wet hair after stepping out of the shower, and slipping on some underwear and a bra, then black and white tribal printed leggings and a silk black flowy blouse.

I ruffled my hair with my hands till it felt close to dry then braided my bangs and pinned them to the side.

In high school, appearance means everything. Let's keep it simple, if you dress like a slob, your most likely a slob.

I sighed applying little make up to my face, going for a more natural look.

Then slipped on my black leather jacket, and brown combat boots.

Why did getting ready in the mourning have to be so complicated? So hard? So tiring? Maybe I'm just lazy.

I snatched my bag off my dresser and walked to my door shutting my light off.

I glance back just before I closed the door, at the little coffee can sitting on the corner of my dresser, with the words 'London' written in big black letter on a piece of paper tapped to the front.

No matter how many times I look at that thing, it just never seems to get any fuller.

Instead of bills that I keenly remember putting in there, it's packed with IOU's, that read,

"13 - Justin's Haircut"

"25 - Groceries"

"10 - Movies"

And so on...

At the rate my cans filling up...I should be able to travel to London in about...let's say 25 years.

As soon as the door clicked to signal it's shutting and I turned around, the devil himself raced by me, almost causing me to fall down the stairs and have a hearts attack.

I groaned clutching onto the railing, which seemed to be the solid that saved my life, from Justin's doings.

"Justin for once in your life, can you try to be normal!"

I yelled after my brother down the hallway, he had took off down with his cackling laughter following him.

I rolled my eyes stomping down the stairs.

I was met by my mom at the table trying to feed my baby sister who seemed to get more food on my moms clothes than anything else.

I gripped onto the back of the chair watching mom scramble to feed Sophia, and keep her from not spitting it everywhere.

I felt guilt and pain wash over me, as I quickly took charge grabbing the box if Cheerios from the counter dumping a little pile on Sophia's high chair holder.

She munched on them happily, the baby food mom tried feeding her earlier dripping down her face, while her small chubby hands grabbed at them.

Mom shot me a appreciated look and sighed rushing towards her bedroom, to change I presume.

She hasn't been the same after Dad left...no one has.

Everything's gotten so complicated, giving her no time to herself, between, taking Justin to soccer practice, and picking Sophia up from daycare, plus doing groceries and housework.

That's what's holding me back from leaving after graduation...I don't wanna leave them alone.

Moms been through so much after the accident...that leaving her just sounded cruel,

But yet the thought of leaving this small town, that wasn't even big enough to be put on a GPS or Map, to see the city of London, excited me to no end.

I quickly kissed Sophia's head and jogged out of the house, towards my car.

The other reason I can't stand this town,

The cars sold here, are complete and utter trash.

My car looks like it could fall apart at any moment, plus it takes 3 key turns in order to bring the stone aged baby to life.

I sighed hitting the 'CD' button on my radio, causing the angel himself to flow through the speakers of my junk-I mean car.

I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel at a red light, quietly singing the words,


'Give me love,
Like her,
Cause lately I've been waking up alone'



His voice sent shivers up my spine, to no end,

How could someone be so perfect?

His voice didn't need to be auto-tuned to sound so beautiful, unlike other stars.

He's just so amazing.

I killed the engine after parking it in a small space it could just fit in, in the school parking lot.

Ah, High School...a teenagers worst nightmare...

I rolled my eyes while gripping the strap of my book bag to keep it from falling off, as I past the "Dog Whistlers"
As I call them.

They laughed, and what I assumed to high five each other by the sound , after receiving my reaction, to the whistles and winks they sent at me.

I carried on and watched as the judgmental girls stared down every single girl that walked by, whispering and pointing...

2 more days...

2 more days and I'm free...

2 more days till graduation...

God please help me...

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