My child

I lost my child (by adoption), I lost a part of myself and I had to continue. I had no idea where my daughter was and I wasn't the girl who dared to think of her.


10. truth

The more I was with Niall and Kitty, the more I wanted to be a part of their lives. I was almost like her mother and I loved her with all my heart. It was a new experience for me, but at the same time it were all so genuine.


"Okay!" Mom said into the phone. "I may perhaps agree that you met a guy with a daughter?" 
I nodded and I was sure about my thing. 
"You'll meet them. He's like a wonderful man and she's absolutely adorable." 
Mom sighed. 
"But she's not your daughter?" 
I was so annoyed with her. When it came to children, she was like a wall. 
"Mom, my daughter's not her family's kid, but they love her."
Mom hesitated. 
"It's not the same." 
For me it was the same thing. 
"If I become Kitty's mom, I will love her as much as if she were my own daughter." 
Mom snorted. 
"And she's going to cost you money." 
"And?" I almost screamed in the handset. "I don't care. She hasn't done anything wrong and she can't help that her real mom's dead."


I was so angry when I got to Niall. I didn't mean to yell, but I felt hopeless. 
"She's just so slow!" I said cool. "She has been a wall since I left my daughter and she hates kids." 
Niall hugged me and I felt that he wanted to calm me down. 
"Does it matter?" 
I sighed. 
"No, I love you and I gladly take care of your daughter as if she were mine." 
Niall smiled and kissed me lightly. 
"I know honey. I know you want to help me with her and that's why you are so wonderful. You look behind the problems and you see the truth." 
I smiled. 
"Many words?" 
He blushed. 
"I've had three girls since Annie died. Everybody has been as Candy and complained. You are the only one who doesn't believe that she's tough."
Niall released me and nodded. 
"Annie was Kitty's mom and my girlfriend. We got married and then she died ..." 
I hesitated and I was now calm in my body. 
"Sorry if I complain about my mom." 
Niall smiled and caressed my face with his hand. He looked into my eyes and then turned that look up. He wanted to say more, but he didn't say those words. I hesitated. 
"Why are you looking dreamily sometimes?" 
Niall swallowed. 
"Amber, that's one thing I've been thinking about since I met you and I ..." 
Again silence and I was almost annoyed. 
"Is it something bad?" 
"Say it!"
Niall walked over to a bookshelf and picked up some binders. He sat down on the sofa. 
I nodded and sat down next to him. Niall opened one of the covers and I saw some hospital records. 
"What's this?" 
Niall hesitated. 
"Annie and I ..." he hesitated even more. He looked at me and he swallowed. "Annie couldn't have children. We were in the hospital many times before they discovered that she could never be a mom." 
I swallowed and I had no idea why he told me. Niall picked up a paper at an adoption and direct I was startled. It looked like one of the notes that I had written on many years ago and I recognized my own handwriting. 
"Honey, I think you're her mom."
I just stared at the paper. I felt my whole world collapsed and I got almost a sense of panic. 
"That's my name?" 
Niall swallowed. 
"I know!" 
I was shaking all over and looked over at him. 
"Are you saying that your daughter ...." 
Niall smiled uncertainly. 
"Yes, she's your biological daughter. You are Kitty's mom."





Will be more.. :D

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