My child

I lost my child (by adoption), I lost a part of myself and I had to continue. I had no idea where my daughter was and I wasn't the girl who dared to think of her.

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9. To feel love

I woke up to Niall kissed my bare back. He caressed my skin and he breathed quietly. 
"Kitty's awake." he whispered. I heard that she sat in front of the TV and I turned my head and looked at Niall. He smiled and kissed me on the lips. 
"We need to take on clothing. Or would you like to be naked?" 
I blushed and smiled weakly. 
"No sleep late?" 
He shook his head and ran his hand through my hair. 
"No, not when you have a daughter who wake up before everyone else."
I turned around lay down on my back and I craned my body. Niall looked down over my naked skin and directly, I pulled up the covers up. He played disappointed. 
"I liked what I saw." 
I giggled and felt like a child. 
"You wont see anything more today." 
He kissed me and I realized that he didn't want to leave the bed. 
"You are wonderful." he murmured, and let his lips slide down over my neck. I groaned silently and looked toward the door. 
"Kitty can come in?" 
Niall nodded and released me. 
"I know!" he muttered, and jumped out of the bed. I saw him walking naked to the closet and he picked up underwear. I couldn't stop watching him and Niall smiled at me. 
"You stare?"
Actually, I liked to stare at him. He had a great body and I liked every part of it. 
"I can't help myself." 
Niall laughed and picked up my panties from the floor. He threw them over to me. 
"Come on, sweetheart! We have to get up!" 
I balked. He called me sweetheart. It felt throughout the body and I was surprised. Niall didn't see my reaction, and put on his shirt. Then disappeared out to Kitty. I lay still for a moment, before I started to put on my clothes.

 

"You're still here?" 
Kitty threw herself into my arms and I felt  how she hugged me tightly. I laughed a little bit and nodded. 
"I didn't want to leave you." 
She giggled and looked straight into my eyes. Then she took my hand and pulled me toward the kitchen. 
"Dad, she's still here and we want to eat food."

 

I don't know what I felt. It felt so different to sit as a family around the table. Kitty talked the whole time and Niall just smiled at her. He was a wonderful father and she was a wonderful daughter. I felt some anxiety, because I could have had my daughter with me. The empty feeling came back and when Kitty left the table, Niall looked at me. 
"Is it tough?" 
I swallowed. 
"No, but I still haven't gotten over my own choices." 
Niall smiled and took my hand across the table. He looked straight into my eyes and I heard that he hesitated. It was something he wanted to tell me, but he said nothing. Instead, he released my hand and we ate in silence on the food.

 

It was a wonderful Sunday and when I got back to my apartment, I realized what I wanted. I wanted a family, I didn't want to stay alone and I loved Niall. It was as if I understood how I should have it. I was overjoyed when Niall called. I knew that Kitty was asleep and that he missed me. 

 

"What are you doing?" 
I laughed and sat down on the couch. 
"Thinking of you." 
Niall laughed quietly. 
"I miss you so much. Makes it almost hurts."
I enjoyed. 
"That's great!" 
He laughed. 
"Yeah, maybe so. You know that I wont let you leave me?" 
I felt filled with love and I felt my whole body tingled. 
"I wont leave you." 
Niall sighed heavily. 
"I know it's a new relationship, but consider whatever you want to move here." 
I hesitated. 
"Niall, you don't know me and ..." 
He interrupted me. 
"I know, but at the same time I know it's you I want."
Can you really meet the right guy so quickly? I had tried to take care of myself, since I had lost my baby. Guys was no choice, but I felt the same feelings as Niall had. It was as if we belonged together and it was as I really belonged to him. 
"You can move here?" 
He laughed. 
"We're two and you're just one, you get to come here and I promise to take care of you." 
I smiled and I couldn't help but think about how it could be. 
"You mean you don't hesitate?" 
He was in a good mood. 
"No, darling." 
I closed my eyes and I felt my heart jumped. I felt his stomach tingled and I felt how weak my legs were. I loved him and I was close to just get up and run back to him again. 
"See you tomorrow?"
Niall groaned lightly and I understood that he didn't want to hang up the phone. 
"Well, you can come here?" 
I swallowed and I smiled. 
"Okay!"

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