My child

I lost my child (by adoption), I lost a part of myself and I had to continue. I had no idea where my daughter was and I wasn't the girl who dared to think of her.


14. My options

Lou managed to get hold of Harry Styles and his lawyer. 
"He wont do it!" she said. I sat across the desk and I felt hopeless. I understood that it wouldn't be easy. 
"But how do we do now?" 
She smiled and showed me a paper. 
"I'm going to contact a Judge and ask if you can't get a court order that he must do it?" 
I hesitated. 
"Do you mean that it can work?" 
She laughed a little bit. 
"I have a plan B, but you wont like that plan."
I looked up at her. 
"Plan B?" 
She nodded and looked long time at me. She swallowed and I saw that she chose the words carefully. 
"You counted as under age when he had sex with you. Thus, he can be devoted for having had sex with a minor." 
I balked. 
"Are you serious?" 
She nodded. 
"You were fourteen years old, and Harry was  five years older than you. He can sentenced in trial today for sex with a minor, and I want him to know about it."


Niall laughed when I got home. 
"Are you serious?" 
I nodded and sat down on the sofa. I saw Kitty playing with a doll and she put no energy in me. I watched her closely and realized that all my choices would affect her in any form. 
"Is it worth it?" 
Niall came up to the couch and looked at me. I looked up and met his eyes. I saw that he was thinking, and then he sat down beside me. 
"Honey, it's not me who should answer that question. It's you." 
I swallowed and took his hand in mine. Niall smiled at me and I saw that he cared. 
"If you want to judge Harry, do it, but then you must be sure it's what you want to do." 
I wasn't sure. 
"I just want him to know that he's ruined my life. I had to fight for years afterwards and he didn't do anything."
Niall nodded. 
"Then we do that?" 
I hesitated. 
"You mean I should go ahead with this?" 
Niall laughed a little bit and kissed me lightly. 
"Yes, because he hasn't needed to take responsibility. He should learn that life contains more than party, drugs and sex." 
I laughed. 
Niall grinned and he nodded with satisfaction. I saw how he changed the appearance and became mischievous. 
"I did one thing ..." 
Niall giggled. 
"I search up Harry on the net and he has repeatedly crawled past the law. He has almost been imprisoned for drug possession. His dad paid so he didn't have to sit in jail."
I was surprised. 
"Is he on the web?" 
Niall nodded. 
"His dad is really rich, and he has more money than you can dream about. He let Harry live a life without responsibility, and maybe they need this?" 
I understood nothing. 
"You mean he deserves a little adversity?" 
Niall nodded and then looked away at Kitty. 
"Yes, because he should understand that his daughter isn't a mistake. Kitty's a child with feelings." 
I agreed. 
"So I'll call Lou and say we want to do this?"
Niall looked at me again and he nodded. 
"Excuse me for saying it, but he's an ass hole. He should learn that you can't do that to my family."


The newspapers found out what was happening. Direct-filled headlines with Styles secret child. No one knew it was about me and Kitty, but rumour began to catch up to us.


"I have to give you a holiday." Simon mumbled and took me into the office. "Customers are starting to talk and I don't know how I'll handle this." 
I was surprised. 
"What are you talking about?" 
He closed the door and avoided eye contact. 
"That with Harry and a daughter. My customers are talking." 
I panicked. 
"But I'll do my job and I'm doing everything that I should do?" 
He swallowed. 
"I didn't say I would fire you. I just said that you get paid to leave this place until this all is over." 
I just wanted to cry. 
"Don't say that you are like everyone else?" 
Simon sat down and he hesitated. 
"I only care about my business. I don't want to lose customers."


My mother did the same thing. She took away and eventually I just had to Niall and Kitty left. He comforted me a whole evening before I realized he was the only one who wouldn't let me down.
"Why do you stay?" 
Niall kissed me and smiled big. 
"Because I love you." 
I hesitated. 
"Seriously Niall. It would have been easier for you to do as mom did and take care of Kitty?" 
Niall smiled and he didn't seemed to care about whatever I said. 
"When I saw that you were Kitty's mom, I realized that this is the meaning with our life. I'll take care of you and you should take care of me. Nothing can come between us."
"But if I had been her mom then?" 
Niall laughed. 
"Well then, I had come to a different cause." he looked at me and he smiled like that, only a Niall could smile. "Once this has settled down I'll marry you and I want to have children with you. Want my future with you." 
I balked. How far had he planned? He wanted to marry me? 
Niall laughed almost more. 
"You look shocked?" 
I sat up straight in the back. 
"Well, you're talking about children and ..." 
Niall cut me off. 
"What did you think I wanted?" he said with amusement. "Did you think I just took you to have someone to pass the time with? I chose you because I can create a future together with you and you are the woman of my life."
I admit it! My stomach tingled. I realized how much I wanted the same thing and I couldn't help myself to kiss him. I lay almost upon him, and took my arms around his neck. 
We balked and ended the kiss quickly. Kitty had come into the room and she was standing with a wrinkled nose, middle of the floor and just stared at us. 
"Yucky to kiss!" 
Niall laughed and took out his arms. 
"Come to daddy!" 
Kitty hesitated and looked weird on us. 
"If you don't kiss me."
Niall was quickly up on his feet and he chased her into her room. 
"Well, I want a kiss." 
"HEY!" cried Kitty, and she laughed so hard that tears came. "Don't kiss me Daddy, no!"

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