My child

I lost my child (by adoption), I lost a part of myself and I had to continue. I had no idea where my daughter was and I wasn't the girl who dared to think of her.

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13. My daughter

I woke up because I heard Nialls voice. 
"No, she's not going to work today. She has a fever and she's sick." 
That was a lie, but I understood him. I stayed in bed and I stared at the door. Niall came in again, and he smiled at me. 
"Stay at home?" 
I hesitated. 
"And Kitty?" 
He sat down on the edge of the bed. 
"I have told everything to my mom and she understands. She'll get her at preschool and you don't need to worry."
I smiled and I took up my hand. I caressed his cheek and I felt harmony. It was as if Niall would be there and I couldn't do it without him. 
"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I panicked." 
He laughed and lay down on the bed beside me. 
"It's okay. I probably would have died if I were in your shoes."
I shook my head. 
"No, you're too good to die." 
Niall leaned forward and I felt our lips meet. I lay more on my back and Niall landed on top of me. I felt his hands, his kisses. It was as if he was my drug, I wanted more and I moaned quietly. Niall quickly pulled his shirt off and I let my  hands caress his chest hair. I loved him, I loved everything about Niall and he did it all for me. He kissed me again and he owned me. His tongue was playing with mine, his hands tore off my clothes and in the end I felt he penetrated.

 

We ended up in an insane state. I rode him, I lay under him, I stroked his skin and I ended up in the mist country. I felt his hands caressed me and I felt how he did everything for me. I moaned, I cried and I let him take me. We landed exhausted in bed and I held him tightly in my arms.

 

"I want Harry to admit." I whispered. Niall was startled and he looked at me. 
"How do you mean?" 
I smiled weakly. 
"I want that he's forced to admit that he's the father of my daughter. I have lived for five years with shame. He should be allowed to do the same." 
Niall hesitated. 
"And how?" 
I raised my eyebrows. 
"Lawyer, testing and coercion?" 
Niall laughed a little bit. 
"You mean you want to implement it now?" 
I nodded with satisfaction. 
"You're glad that I'm Kitty's mother, then why not get in the paper who's the father?"

 

We got a lawyer. Her name was Lou. She had a mischievous look and she was pretty cheap. She was thrilled. 
"Yes, I want to help you!" she said directly. "I think I can be sure to get it right." 
Niall laughed. 
"So you think we can really do this?" 
She nodded with satisfaction. 
"Harry Styles is Kitty's father and he can't say no to making father test? If he says no, it means that he's still the father. I know how wealthy families think and you will get the money when we win." 
I hesitated. 
"When we win?" 
She laughed. 
"Yes, he must pay for his daughter and I will make sure it gets a lot of money."

 

When we got out on the street I stopped. I looked at Niall and I was serious. 
"You know it's not about the money?" 
Niall laughed and nodded instantly. 
"I know, sweetheart!" 
I hesitated. 
"For me it's about him to be the father on the paper and that my mom will know the truth." 
Niall hugged me and he was amused. 
"What do you think about me, anyway? Of course I know why you do this."

 

Kitty was at Nialls parents place. I was shaking all over when we came into the hall. His mom was quick and she hugged me. 
"Hey darling." She said she wouldn't let me go. "I know you are Kitty's mom and I'm eternally grateful." 
She released me and I was amazed. 
"Huh?" 
Maura laughed and she pulled me to the kitchen. 
"You're Kitty's mom and without you we wouldn't have had to take care of her. You have a wonderful daughter."
Niall followed us and he sighed lightly. 
"Mom, she has barely gotten over the shock." 
Maura smiled and she looked at me. 
"I'll make sure she understands how much we love that kid. It's no shock, it's an honor." 
I sat down and I didn't know what to say. Maura put on coffee and tea. She talked the whole time and I was amazed. 
"Since your daughter came into our lives isn't the same." she said. "She's like an angel and we love her."
Niall was placed beside me. 
"Mom stop!" 
The door opened and in ran Kitty. She threw herself over Niall and hugged him tightly. 
"DADDY!" 
Then she looked at me and blushed slightly. 
"Hello?" 
I laughed and I could feel my heart pumping out all the blood. It was the first time I saw her, since I found out the truth. 
"Hi, honey."
Niall held his arms around Kitty and smiled at her. 
"Do you remember that I told you about that Alice and I were in one place and picked you up?" 
She nodded and smiled at him. 
"You said you found me in the hospital and that you wanted to keep me." 
Niall laughed. 
"Yes, I remember." He then looked at me quickly. "Kitty, I picked you up from a mom. You know such a mom as Emma got?" 
Kitty was smart. 
"You mean a mom who has had a big belly?"
I was shaking all over. I knew Niall explained that I was her mom. I understood his plan and I was as tense as Kitty. 
"Your mom, she with big belly?" 
"Yes?" 
Niall looked at me. 
"It was Amber."

 

For the first time in my life I found my place. 

 

Kitty looked at me, she stared at me and in the end she understood what Niall meant. She threw herself over me and I wept. I don't know about if Kitty cried, but I saw her in a daze. I felt all at once and I hugged her tightly. 
"Sorry!" I whispered. "I didn't mean to leave you away." 
She smiled at me and she looked straight into my eyes. 
"That's all right!" 
I cried and shook my head. 
"No, I left you away and I regret it." 
She giggled and she was just happy. 
"So are you my mom?" 
I nodded. Kitty looked at Niall, she looked at Maura and then she looked at me. 
"So then we're a family?"

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