My child

I lost my child (by adoption), I lost a part of myself and I had to continue. I had no idea where my daughter was and I wasn't the girl who dared to think of her.


15. Bribery

Niall stood in the window and peered out onto the street. I looked at him that it was something special, so I accompanied him. I peeked out and saw direct view of a sports car. Niall hesitated and took his arm around my shoulder. 
"It's Harry's car. It has been there all morning." 
I had no idea what I would say. I was cold all over and I could do nothing but just stand there. 
"He's following us." Niall mumbled. "I think he's waiting to get the opportunity to talk to you." 
I looked up at Niall and it actually sounded as if Niall was right. 
"Shall I go to him?" 
He hesitated. 
"I don't know!"


In the evening, the car was still there. I almost got annoyed and finally I couldn't hold myself back. I put on my jacket and without speaking to Niall, I went out on the street. I saw Harry in the car and I saw that he saw me. I stood in the middle of the side walk and just stared at him. After a minute he opened the door and he avoided looking at me. 
"Five years!" said he coldly. "Are you going to punish me for something that happened five years ago?" 
I was cold in my body and I didn't drop him with my eyes. 
"Should I be punished for something you did five years ago? I'm the one who got shit just becouse you fucked me. I don't pity you."
Harry sighed and looked coldly at me. 
"You were no fucking virgin and you wanted me to fuck you." 
I felt tears in my eyes. 
"Harry, you took my virginity and you ruined my life. Don't say that I wanted when I didn't even dare to say no." 
He laughed cold. 
"Fucking bitch. I will give you one chance. Taking back the police report and leave me in peace. Hell I don't want to have anything with your daughter to do." 
I smiled and shook his head. 
"No, I will make sure your name is on the paper as Kitty's dad and I'll damn sure everyone finds out what happened. You wont escape. Not this time!"
Harry fell silent and just stared at me. I saw that he wasn't sure about me, but I wasn't going to back down. He started the car and looked straight ahead. 
"We gave you fucking mom a lot of money for her to take away the kid. Ask her how she could afford you." He said cold and looked at me again. "I'm not afraid of you and I can make sure your little sweet mouth becomes silent." 
I was cold in the body. Had my mother received money from Harry? He saw my reaction and laughed cold. 
"Don't tell me that Mom's little girl didn't know? We gave her a a lot of money to send away the kid and she obeyed us. She promised to us do everything for you not to gossip and talk about what happened."

Harry closed the door and drove away. I stood there and felt small. I felt the tears came and I could feel my whole body shook. I realized why my mom was so angry and hated children. Harry had made sure that she became like that. 
Niall came running out and I felt his arms around my body. I turned around and hugged him tightly. I wept over his neck and I felt his warmth against me. 
"What happened?" 
I sniffed. 
"Mom got paid from Harry." 
Niall hesitated. 
I nodded and looked into his eyes. 
"She got paid to do what she did. I never got any choice."


Mom were silenced in the phone. I could feel the anger took over and I just wanted to scream at her. 
"How much money?" 
She took a deep breath. 
"I paid your education with the money and I went on a cruise." 
I sat down and swallowed. 
"That cruise when you went away for a month?" 
She sobbed and I heard that she hesitated. 
"I'm sorry sweetheart. I thought I did the right thing." 
I wiped the tears from my face. 
"Mom, why didn't you tell me?" 
She hesitated again. 
"I was afraid you'd be mad at me."
I looked down at the floor. 
"Yes, I'm mad at you and I don't understand why you haven't told me anything." 
She sighed. 
"Harry's father came to our house and he had a bag with money in. He gave me no choice and I saw at him he could hurt me." she swallowed. "I was to pride to admit it and I let the anger out on you. I was afraid that they would do more harm to us."
I swallowed and I had no idea what I felt about my own mom anymore. I felt hatred but at the same time I understood her. 
"Want to meet Kitty?" 
She hesitated. 
"I don't know. It feels wrong after all that I have done to her." 
I smiled. 
"We start over mom, we start over and give her a chance?"
I heard she hesitated. 
"Is she like you?" 
I didn't know what to say. The truth was that Kitty was more like Harry on her outside. 
"Yeah ..." I lied. "She's as mischievous as I was and she's always happy." 
Mom laughed a little bit. 
"Okay, but you must promise not to have too high expectations of me?" 
I nodded. 
"I promise!"

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