My child

I lost my child (by adoption), I lost a part of myself and I had to continue. I had no idea where my daughter was and I wasn't the girl who dared to think of her.

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5. A dad

I worked as usual and Simon was happy with me. He gave me time to learn the cashier and actually, I started to like my job. I was given more responsibility and I felt like one of the gang. 
"You will get a higher salary." Simon said to me. I was overjoyed and I saw at him that he felt that I deserved it. Actually I hugged him and I laughed with happiness. 
"Thank you!"

 

I picked up the goods when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I spun around and was surprised when Niall stood there. He had a cart and he was alone. 
"Hello?" I got out of me. He laughed a little bit and swallowed. 
"I shop here sometimes." 
I looked down in the cart and saw that it was empty. He blushed and I saw that he was nervous. 
"But today I came here to talk to you. It looked better with a shopping cart, I thought." 
I laughed and it was a tingling in my stomach. I saw at him that he really wasn't used to make contact. 
"What did you call me?" 
Niall smiled and he took up a piece of paper from his pocket. He gave it to me. 
"Call me on Friday. I thought we could meet?"
I noted that he had written down his number neatly. 
"On Friday?" 
Niall hesitated. 
"But if you can't, so maybe on Saturday?" 
I looked up at him and I was amused. It was a wonderful feeling in the body. Guys didn't used to flirt with me and this felt exciting. 
"I can actually on Friday." 
Niall puffed out. 
"In my home or at your place?" 
I laughed a little bit. 
"At your house, I mean you've got your daughter and ..." 
Niall hesitated. 
"I've arranged for a babysitter." 
I was surprised. Candy had said he never got  a babysitter. Had she been lying? Niall saw my reaction and he seemed to understand that I hesitated. 
"I know, I mean, I figured it out, I will get to know you. You know that I have a daughter and ..." 
I smiled and raised his eyebrows. 
"Candy said you never had a babysitter?" 
Niall blushed again. He seemed unsure and he looked down at his hands. 
"Well, I might ..." he paused and looked at me. "I'll be honest. I want to know you, and I thought that it's easier the first time without the children?"

 

"Does he have children?" 
Mom didn't sound happy on the phone. I sighed, and I knew what she was thinking. 
"Yes, but he's kind." 
Mom wasn't happy. 
"Can't you find a guy without children?" 
I sighed. 
"Mom, we'll just talk and get together." 
She snorted and she wasn't at all in the loop. 
"Honey, it's going to end up with you getting pregnant again and ..." 
I became angry. 
"Come on, I'm twenty years old and I can actually make my own choices." 
I knew my mom meant well, but she said it the wrong way. She thought that I had sex with all the guys and that I was a whore. The truth was the opposite. I hadn't had sex since I had lost my virginity. It happened once, but I got still pregnant.

 

I had been with some friends at a party. I was fourteen years old but thought I was older. One guy had started flirting with me and I was lured total. I thought he was really interested in me and that he felt the same for me, as I felt for him.
"You're beautiful." 
I had blushed. He pulled me into an empty room and we ended up on a bed. He kissed me and I didn't dare to resist. His hands were everywhere, and when he began to undress me, I thought that he really wanted me. I didn't know he just wanted to have sex with me. 
"It doesn't hurt!" he groaned. I had just lain there and watched as he stripped naked. He had gone on top over me and without foreplay, he penetrated. It hurt, but I thought that was how it would feel. He groaned and he had moved quickly over me. It was over in five minutes and afterwards he had just left me alone in bed. I felt like a loser and I realized that he had taken advantage of me. A month later didn't my period came, two months later, I realized I was pregnant. Nine months later I gave birth to my daughter.

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