Darrel Hannigan's life was all black and white, a bore. But when the girl his heart has been waiting for comes along she starts tossing sparks of colour over his life. Now, he will never be the same again. This girl is Lily-Anne and she is the girl of this ordinary boy's dreams.


4. boyfriend

I'm lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. I can feel the grin stretched across my face but it will not go away. Even my parents arguing doesn't bother me tonight.

'You whore, get in that kitchen!'

Does he know that whores don't belong in kitchens. They don't get freaky with rubber gloves and aprons on... okay, there is a sight.

'I'm not your bitch you drunk bastard!'

The baby starts wailing like a seal, still I smile on.

'Remind me why I married you again?'

'Because I was pregnant with your child- Darrel check on your brother please.'

'For god sake, woman, always an answer for everything.'

'Another can? Anyone would think you were Irish with the amount of Guinness you drink.'

'I am Irish, we are in Ireland what do you expect, you stupid bint!'

I hear the connection of a slap, I am surprised when I hear a male groan. I snigger and clutch my mouth, forcing the chuckle back into my mouth. They are constantly down each others necks, never satisfied by the others behaviour but I guarantee they will be at It like bunnies later on tonight. Sat in my marvel comics boxers, cradling a child that won't stop screeching, listening to my parents fight like crazy, blasting Lenny Kravitz about the place is the best way to live. I place the child in my egg-shaped chair and decide it is a brilliant idea to air-violin. Edward, my 1 year old brother thinks this Is hilarious and starts giggling like a madman. I giggle too, because baby giggles are the cutest little thing and suddenly the whole family Is in pieces on my bedroom floor. I assume my parents saw me prancing around my room playing 'violin' to BitterSweet Symphony- the best song to air-violin to, take It from a proffesional. Suddenly I'm dancing with a child in my arms and my mum and dad are dancing, with some sort of alcoholic drinks in theirs.

I start to sing into a hair brush to The Smiths 'Bigmouth Strikes Again' in a ridiculous voice, like a really bad Elvis impression.

'Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said-'

'Mowwissey!' My brother lets out a little squeal of excitement and a slight giggle, a proud one.

The whole room seems to freeze and we stare at this child who is sat swith a massive grin and wide eyes, looking for approval. I burst out into rythmic laughter (a phrase I never thought I'd use). Edward decides that we didn't hear him and says, with comedic anger in his voice 'Mowwissey, Mowwissey, Mowwissey!' The whole room is roaring and shaking. For once in my life, I feel like part of a family.

Not only is this the first time my brother has named the singer of a band, it is the first word he has said all together. It is a very strange first word but it is better than mine 'no!' How boring is that?

Frantically, I pick up my phone and start bashing buttons, trying to call Lilly-Anne. I don't bother to tell her who I am when she answers.

'Oh my God, listen listen listen!'

She lets out a 'uhm...' and giggles, just like Edward is.

I blast the same song: 'Big mouth Strikes again', holding the phone towards Eddie.

He starts clapping and smiling, showing his two pointy teeth. 'Mowwissey' he squeaks and I can hear her fangirling at my brother.

'He has his own little fanbase, how cute!' I say, mocking her.

She is still In hysterics and through it all she says 'I love you, bambini' in a brutally terrible Italian accent.

'You too ma'am' I say in a... plausible-ish southern-state accent.

'Speak to you tomorrow, boyfriend.' She does her trademark 'mwa' down the phone and hangs up, giggling.

She just called me boyfriend!

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