A Daydream Away

When you lose the person you loved most, just remember, that loved one is always just a daydream away.

A one shot

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1. A Daydream Away

The lights were flashing all around Liam. He couldn’t see where he was going, he just knew he had to run. Tears were blurring his eyes, as he screamed out.

“Where is he?!” Liam screamed at no one in particular. “Where the fuck is he?!”

The police and medical crew were holding him back. Not letting Liam go where he needed to be. “Sir. Sir! You need to stay calm and stay behind the red line!” One person told him.

“No! I need to see him!” He cried.

“Sir!” Another officer grabbed his arm. “I’m afraid we cannot let you do that!”

“You’re gonna let me do whatever the fuck I want!” Liam screamed as he broke free from his grip. He pushed past loads of medical crew and police officers, only to see Niall lying on the cracked gravel with shards of glass around him. Blood was running from a gash somewhere on his head. His arms and face were badly cut. Liam looked around trying to get a view of the damage of the car. His car was totaled. The thing was crushed. He saw the door had been flung off in the crash. He felt his knees give in and he crashed to the ground. Trembling, Liam lifted his hand to his face and wiped his eyes.

“Sir!” An officer shouted. Liam spun around.

“My name is LIAM!”

The officer stopped in his tracks for a moment, “Liam, please. You need to stay behind here. You can ride with him to Charing, but for now, please come this way.” He pushed himself off the ground and got to his feet. Liam nodded as the officer guided him back to the ambulance.

~

“Liam. You can come see him now.” One of the nurses called. Liam was out of his seat and past her before she even finished her sentence. The boys trailed behind him, but were stopped. Liam heard the nurse say something like ‘No. Not you boys. The doctor only wants Liam in at this time. You can visit tomorrow.’ Or something like that. He was too urgent to get to Niall’s room to really pay attention.

Dr. Cameron came out of a room and smiled. “Liam, he’s down that way. Room 128.” He said a quick thank-you before turning the corner and racing down the hall. 125. 126. 127. 128. He stopped short. His breathing quickened. He was afraid to see Niall. Liam reached for the door handle. The cool metal felt nice against his flushed skin. He turned the handle and pushed the door open a little. Liam didn’t look in just yet, but the steady beeping of the heart monitor let him know Niall was alive.

Seeing Niall laying on that bed, was horrific. Not blood and guts horrific, but the fact that he was so still, scared Liam half to death. Seeing him lay there unmoving was odd. Niall was always moving. He was always doing something. Long car trips with him were the best, he never let the conversation get boring. Niall was so full of life, you could tell it by the way he laughed, by the way his blue eyes shone. Being still just wasn’t Niall. Now here he was, in a GCS of 3, laying there in coma, because of Liam. He walked in and gently shut the door behind him. One of Niall’s legs was traction . It probably broke after he was thrown from the car. There was a thick white bandage wrapped around his head and an IV sticking out of his hand. A long skinny tube was hanging out of his mouth hooked up to a Ventilator. He looked sick- no, he looked dead.

Every part of him wanted to run over to those machines and rip them out of Niall, the IV, the ventilator, the leg brace. He knew it wouldn’t help him though, it would make everything worse. Liam began making my way to the chair that sat next to Niall’s bed, and sat down. Liam lifted his hand and gently stroked Niall’s cheek. “Hi Niall.” He whispered. Liam didn’t really know what to say. he chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment before he spoke again. “I am so sorry. You have no Idea. I don’t know what came over me last night. I don’t know why I said those things to you. I don’t even know why I picked up your phone. I know I shouldn’t of.” His voice trailed off, his mind was honestly a million miles away. Liam was searching for words to make everything better. He didn’t say anything for hours. He just sat there next to his bestfriend, who was Comatose.

It’s been two weeks since the crash. Two weeks since Niall last spoke. Fuck you Liam. Niall’s words kept playing in his head, repeating over and over again. Like a broken record. Those were the only words he’d heard Niall say to him in two weeks. Liam felt his eye lids droop. He snapped them back open. Liam wasn’t going to fall asleep. They got heavier. It felt like someone was taking two fingers and lightly closing his eyelids, but putting enough pressure so that he couldn’t open them anymore. Sleep soon crept up on him.

Beeep beeeeep beeeep. 3, 2, 1 CLEAR! 3, 2, 1 CLEAR! Doctor it’s not doing anything. Keep going! Doctor you’re going to hurt him! We need to save his life! DOCTOR! Niall is going to die!


Liam’s eyes shot open. He woke up with such a surprise that he flew off his chair. Liam shot up again and his eyes went straight to Niall’s heart monitor. The steady beeping continued. He let out a sigh. The dream was so vivid, it was like he was there. Like everything he had heard was happening, like he lost Niall. Liam’s heart was racing and he made a point to sit back down next to Niall. Liam heard a small knock at the door. “Hello?” A nurse whispered.

“Hi.” he said back. The nurse was one he’d seen many times. She was short and plump and had very red lips. She was always so kind to him though. She was his favorite.

“Liam, dear, you should really get going. It’s nearly 11.” Liam nodded sleepily. Though, he had no intention of leaving Niall’s side.

“C’mon.” She said, holding a gentle hand out. Liam obviously had no choice. He stood up and straightened his shirt out. She smiled at him.

Liam leaned over and kissed Niall’s cheek. “Goodnight. I’ll be back in the morning. I promise.”

Liam walked down the dimly lit hallways. The nurses at the front desk smiled at him. Liam pulled out his keys, wishing that he could be back in Niall’s room.

-

It’s been a year and a half since the crash, a year and a half since Niall last spoke. Liam couldn’t take it anymore, he completely gave up trying to stay positive. Even thought the doctors never said anything, he knew. He knew Niall didn’t have a chance of waking up. He knew Niall would never actually speak to him again. Liam sat next to Niall holding his hand for his life. Something was off, Liam had a strange feeling that Niall would take his last breath that night. He tried to ignore the feeling all day.

Liam woke up later on, and sat up. His heart racing. Niall’s hand wasn’t warm. His chest wasn’t rising and falling. Liam felt tears prick his eyes. “No.” He whispered. “No, no!” Liam said, his voice rising. His tears soon turned into full on sobs. He shook Niall like a rag doll before collapsing on his chest. “Please don’t leave me.” Liam’s sobs wracked through his body as he whispered Niall’s name over and over again.

-

Liam walked through the all too familiar walkway to the grave stone he wished was never made. He stood in front of the blonde’s memorial, and read the words he’d memorized over time. “Here lies Niall Horan, The Irishman that brought happiness to everyone he’d ever met.” Liam sat down in front of the marble with his legs crossed. He reached into his coat pocket for the letter he’d written a few months back. Liam sighed deeply before beginning to read.

“Dear Niall,

I’m not sure why I wrote this, I guess it’s for therapeutic reasons. It’s been really hard without you here, you know. Everyday I wish you were here. Sometimes I wonder why I should carry on, but then I remember that you would want me to. Sometimes I get the urge to call you, which is stupid I know, because you, you wouldn’t answer it..”

Liam’s voice trailed off, This is the first time he’s spoken at Niall’s grave, he wasn’t quite sure he could carry on.

“I wonder if you even think of me sometimes, I wish that you’d give me some sort of vague sign that you do.. Because I’m not doing well. There are so many things I wish I would’ve told you, so many things I wish you knew. I never told you how I really feel, Niall. I’ve been in love with you since, since bootcamp. I don’t know if you could guess, but now you’ll never know.”

Liam sniffed and wiped his eyes but shakily continued on.

“And realistically, I still love you, and I’m kind of afraid I won’t ever really stop..

Niall, I wish we never fought that night. And I am aware that it has been well over a year since you, uh, left me. But I’ll never forget that night. I’ll never forget your words and I’ll never forget mine, I just wish that the last thing you said to me, was something different.

I hope they’re treating you well up there, ‘cause I miss you more than ever. And I’ve learned that even though you’re no longer with me, you’re still just a daydream away.

Love, Liam.”

Liam began to fold the paper back up, letting all his tears fall, when he felt something. He felt a light touch on his shoulder, Liam looked up to see Niall’s blue eyes looking down at his. Liam jumped in surprise, but the Irishman just smiled. Liam smiled back with tears rolling down his cheek. “Ni-” Liam croaked out, before he broke down. He couldn’t handle seeing Niall, because he knew he would never really be there. Niall reached up and cupped Liam’s face. The look in Niall’s eyes let Liam know he loved him as much as Liam loved Niall.

Liam never saw the blonde again, but he could always feel him. And he could always close his eyes and dream.

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