EvilCabbage wrote this.


1. About The Cabbage (Look at it :)

We all know that cabbage is hairy, has legs, arms, a beautiful moustache, and a hat with a monocle. But h8erz gunna h8 and say that we don't have this and that. We also taste delicious so don't judge the cabbage. Cabbage knows how to slap and can carry a miniature burrito and slap you with it. Of course, right now I will demonstrate -Pulls out tiny burrito and slaps you across the face- See? We're just awesome. Don't h8 pls. Now to get on with it you're suppose to stroke us nicely and nibble. (Don't take this sexually plox) and second of all you need to stop chewing-chew-chew-chew swallow please take your time and wait until we're just small bits and then swallow (You silly teens don't get aroused by this!) and yes of course it sounds weird but we enjoy it better than little kids just pulling us out and licking us to death or chew-chewing-chew-chew swallow. We are people too! (Kinda) and also stahp hurting us :( We're special and we help people lose weight. Don't throw us and chop us up. :( Also last but not least STOP LICKING US.. I already said that... -Looks down- I see your pants stahp it >:( (You're aroused by the licking) ;3

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