here we go again

Just a sad poem. Needed to vent. Poetry's the way to do it:)

*May be triggering

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1. Pain

Here we go again.

 

I wince as you raise your voice, flinching back as words I'm not used to hearing spill from your mouth.

 

I close my eyes as I see you itching to raise your hand then let it finally drop and come in contact with my body.

 

I shudder when I see the look in your eyes: disappointed.
Like I had wronged you, betrayed you, hurt you.

 

You don't seem to realise that it was you who hurt me.

 

Your anger. 
Your disappointment. 
Your unforgiving words which are.now etched into my memory, playing over and over like a broken record.

 

I curl into myself as more hateful words spring forth.

 

I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my tongue to resist the temptation of replying, of shouting back. 
I have learnt that it would only fuel your anger.

 

And I don't want that.

 

The only sound I allow to escape me is a small, defeated sigh as I tighten my hold on my arms, almost like I am keeping myself from falling apart.

 

And yet, I don't blame you.

 

Curious how it works, isn't it?

 

I hear the sound of shattering glass and more shouts spill from your lips.
I take a moment to compose myself, then pull myself off the floor and limp over to where you are.
Time to face the music.

 

Here we go again.

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