Broken Angel

The title pretty much sums it up. I'm a broken angel and this is my story.

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9. My Last Note

This is my suicide note. (I'm not saying I want to kill myself or am suicidal, this is just what I would write in my suicide note.)

______________________________________

 

I'm sorry I couldn't stay long enough. I'm sorry it had to be this way. I'm sorry for the way I left, whether it be bleeding to death from cutting, overdose, hanging myself, choking myself shooting myself, jumping or stepping in front of a vehicle on a busy road.

I didn't really have a choice in this world. I couldn't handle this life anymore. I was drowning, constantly suffocating in a dark inescapable black hole of depression. Nobody could've saved me anyway so save your tears of guilt. I chose this fate and there is no one to blame but me.

It's okay to say it's my fault, because it is. I hate to bring so much pain to the ones I love.

Mom and dad, I'm sorry I was such a disappointment and embarrassment. I'm sorry I couldn't be a better daughter with straight A's and high attention span. I'm sorry for the yelling and frustration, but I hope you guys are finally happy now.

Firstly, I want to apologize to Jill. I'm sorry I couldn't be a better best friend and I was stupid for taking you for granted. I hope you can finally forgive me for everything. I'll always remember the day you took to me to that One Direction concert. It was one of the best days of my life and I'm glad I spent it with you. Thank you.

Mady and Asha. Yeah, go ahead. Call me an idiot. Tell me how stupid I am for choosing this way as an escape. Call me weak. I'm sorry, but I just wanted to thank you guys for always being there for me at times and I'm sorry I couldn't be a better friend and pissed you guys off a lot. I'm sorry.

Gabe, thank you. For being one of my bestest friend and always being there for me and making sure I'm okay. I might've take you for granted at times and I'm sorry for that. I could've been a better best friend. I love you, Fublubff. I hope you can forgive me and stay strong for me no matter how hard things get. I know you can get through this.

Maria and Frank. You guys are the bestest friends anyone could ask for, and I'm sorry I had to go. I want to thank you two for always being there for me and always caring. I love you guys so much, please don't ever change and please don't forget about me. You guys made my life worth it for the time being.

Last, but definitely not least, Alejandro. I don't intend to bring this much pain upon you, but promise me one thing: don't cry. I don't want your beautiful face to be in tears and agony. Just please, be strong. For me. I want you to be happy after this. I want you to find love again and move on no matter how impossible you think it may be. Just know that nobody could ever love you as much as I did. God, I love you so much, Alejandro. You were the love of my life and always will be. Don't forget about me, okay? Forever and always, my love.

I'm pretty sure I've covered everybody now.

I'm so sorry I couldn't tell any of you how I was feeling. My mind was a jumbled up mess. I didn't know how to tell any of you. I was afraid and ashamed of the monster I became.

Just know wherever I end up I'll be waiting for you guys, but not anytime soon I hope. You all deserve to live a long and happy life without me. I love you guys so much and thank you. For everything. I guess this is goodbye. For good.

- Sarah

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