The Day You Left


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3. The first time you came back

You turned your mind inside out time and time again when you discovered that all you'd ever known was a lie. When you discovered that the world wasn't anything like you ever could have thought it was, and that you lived out your life through the souls of other people. When you discovered that there was no determined "heaven" or "hell", there was no place to go to when you died. Most of all, when you discovered how heartbreakingly real all of the stories told around the camp fire were, that there indeed were goblins and werewolves, vampires and monsters, fairies and everything else your 'insignificant' mind could have thought up were true, and they lived through the bodies of humans.

This practically ruined you, even though it was all you'd ever wanted. You didn't have that same honey shaded gleam in your eye you had 26 years ago, 9,490 days to be exact, the day you came back to see me. You made me promise not to tell anyone you came back, to leave the town in peace. So I will, I won't say a word. Your eyes had faded into a deeper brown, lifeless really. You told me how everything in the real world was terrifying and how everyone in Willsboro was so shielded from the truth. You also showed me the scars on your upper thighs that the demons that crawled in your head had put there. You spoke of how depression creeped though your veins and how miserable you were at night. But little did you know, through all of your suffering, every soul you lived through had been turned to magic. I knew this, I could see it in the way you still looked at people. Even in the darkest of nights, something beautiful grew inside of you. It wasn't something you could see, touch, or even feel yourself. But it was beyond the most beautiful of things anyone could have ever imagined. You never knew of this raging power that grew deeply inside of your soul every long, devastating day.

Eventually, you came to realize that you were, in fact an angel, you were one of those stories that were told around campfires and in churches to give people some source of hope. This was proven to you when you traveled to the country side of England and talked to a homeless man, that seemed to be different than just any human. And eventually you realized that all of the people who had torn you apart and shredded you piece by piece while you were out there were all things cast upon you from the evil power that was among the world. This evil power obviously had crafted a wretched hate towards the angels, the gods, anything in which had light running through their soul. The magnificent souls that were crafted with such beauty and elegance weren't torn apart by this power. The power wasn't strong enough. And even through the gashes you laid in your skin, through the multiple times you purposely took few too many pills to try to leave, through the people that had fooled you to believe that you were nothing, your soul couldn't be destroyed. And eventually you realized the only destroying of your soul that had occurred, was of your doing.

Once all of this realization had sunk into your beautiful mind, you realized something else. You created something. You created the most beautiful of things to ever be crafted by the hands of an angel. You created light in the darkest of souls.

I knew you were an angel the day I met you, it really wasn't a surprise. The surprising thing is that it took you so long to figure it out. You laid with me all night, neither of us even having the intentions of going to sleep. You were still the same person I fell in love with so long ago. We had moments that we didn't say a word to each other, just looked at one another in amazement.

It's 4 a.m. and you're laying next to me. You've been asleep for about an hour, but I don't mind. You're just as beautiful when you're asleep. I can't help myself but to brush your hair behind your left ear, it repetitively keeps falling into your face. You're still wearing the same clothes you showed up in: dark blue boyfriend cut jeans that you have rolled up about an inch each, just enough to show the very bottom of your ankles, a pair of black sneakers that had the word Vans written across the back, and a black tank top with straps maybe half a centimeter wide. The tank top clearly shows most of your bare chest, including your collar bones that protrude from your shoulders and the bones in your chest that you can see with such clarity. You had on a red and black flannel with the sleeves rolled up when you got here, but it's now laying behind you on the grass. This used to be your favorite place in the town to go, right to the border of the town, but not to pass the actual line.

Our initials are still carved into the tree beside us, you decided to put it in a shape that resembles a brain instead of a heart because your mama told you day in and day out that the heart is nothing compared to the mind, to love someone with your complete mind and soul is much greater than to love from the deepest pit of your heart, before she died when you were twelve from brain cancer. You keep making noises in your sleep and squinting your tightly closed eyes into your tiny nose, each time you do, you seem to push yourself tighter into my already bruised chest. It's completely worth the pain, since it's been 26 years since I've even felt the sweet, alcohol scented breath you always seem to have run down my neck. I still love you, and I figure I'll probably lay here for another hour or so watching you sleep before I, myself fall asleep with you. I just hope to still find you there in the morning when I wake.

-c.w.

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