Ends and beginnings

It happened so fast. Like lighting when it strikes. One minute we were happy.
Then I blinked. That's all it took. One little blink and it all went away.
The sweet kisses, the whispers in my ear were gone. I remembered aching, longing for him. He was right there but gone.
It all happened in the blink of an eye. One moment.
He was gone.

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3. kisses and goodbyes

It was a Friday. Only a couple months since winter. We had been distant for a while, me and jack. He would go away at night and come home drunk.

Still I held him while he threw up. I stayed by his side. Gave him some space. It didn't work. He got even more distant than before.

I remember I had fell asleep. Waiting. It was late, when he stumbled in. Jack looked at me.

It was the love I had once loved. The one that made my heart swell. He had stopped looking at me, when he distanced himself from me.

Then he threw up. I went over to him and held his hand. When he was done, he shoved me away. Then grabbed me back towards him and sobbed.

I didn't Ask why. Just held him with his sobs racking his body. I don't know how long he cried. All I know is that he needed me like I did him.

~~~~~

I was going to stay home. But jack protested. So I went to school.

On the way I passed bad boy, Ryder. He looked at me with such intensity I shivered. Then Ryder was heading towards me.

Ever since that day he had developed an interest in me. He made up lies and excuses to see me. I wondered why?

"Hey jenny. How you doing?" He asked me.

"I'm alright." I answered back.

We had an easy conversation. Then he turned to me. "I want to go on a date with you."

"I uh have a boyfriend. Sorry." I blushed and turned away.

"Well I'm not." Then out of nowhere he grabbed me and kissed me roughly. His lips were soft and smooth at the same time.

I shoved him. He was not jack. Never would be. "How dare you?" I screamed at him.

"I'm sorry." He leaned forward and shoved something in my pocket. "Here's my address if you ever Change your mind." He told me.

"Bye Ryder." I said annoyed.

The day went by quickly. Faster than I expected. I ran home to jack. I wanted to see him. Talk to him. But when I got home, moans filled the apartment.

Loud ones. I prayed to ice cream for it not to be true. But it was. I opened the door and there was my jack. My lover. My friend. And the man I wanted to marry with another girl.

It hurt. But that was not the reason we broke up. It was because of something else. Something that left us both with no choice.

But now I gasped. My jack turned around. It wasn't him. He-

"Miss jenny." I woke up. It was a dream. Not real. I took a deep breath and looked around. Classroom. My jack was fine.

You see I wasn't lying when I said something else broke us up.

~~~~~

I raced home after class. Rushed inside the apartment. I started to sob. Rather loudly.

I was still sobbing when I felt arms wrap around me. They were warm and comforting. I breathed in my jack.

"Bad dream in class." I told him. He held me tighter as my sobbing came to an end.

I opened my mouth then closed it.

"Go on." He told me.

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Pretty?" He looked confused.

"I mean like attractive."

Jack smiled. "Of course. I find you beautiful."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled. "Thank you." He leaned to kiss me. I pulled away, guilty.

"A guy kissed me today." I blurted. "I'm so sorry-"

He cut me off with a kiss. A sweet and gentle one.

We made love that night. He loved me. That I was sure of.

~~~~~

Until that morning. I woke up next to jack. He smiled down at me and held me close.

He kept whispering in my ear. All morning. Then I went to the closet to get my shoes. Jack stopped me.

"Jack what are you-"

A voice silenced me. "Me, he's been hiding me." Jack moved over and a girl stepped out. She turned to jack.

"You need to tell her. Now or I'm leaving." The girl said to him.

He sighed muttered fine and turned to me. "Jenny do-"

The spoke over him. "He's been having an affair with me."

My throat hurt. I choked. The girl looked at jack. "Look I'm gonna go outside. If your not there in a few minutes I'm leaving."

Jack sighed. The girl left. Jack looked at me.

Then all of a sudden I was pulled in a kiss. Not a gentle one.

It was a rough needy one. I tried to figure out the kiss purpose. Then I knew.

Jack was saying goodbye through a kiss.

Memories flowed through me.

Our first date. Jack made me giggle and blush the whole time. Our first kiss. Sweet and addicting. Our first fight. Jack making it up to me.

Our first time making love. Jack was gentle with me. Meeting his mom. She adored me.

Him meeting my mom and dad. They looked him over. But they loved him too.

Asking me to move in. Waking up to jack. Memorizing him and his smell.

Wearing his t-shirts to bed when he was gone. Jack teasing me. Him saying he loved me. Me saying it back.

Jack holding my hand after my mother died. Him comforting me.

Us, tangled up together in blankets talking about our future. We wanted to get married and have children someday.

I imagined me round with his baby. Me yelling at our children while they ran through the house. Him holding me me tight in his arms.

Tears streamed down my face like a waterfall.

This was goodbye. My happy ever after with jack was gone in an instant.

We pulled away. "Goodbye." I told my jack. He looked at me one last time.

"Goodbye my Jen." He pulled me to him one last time and then he was gone.

I wanted to reach him. But jack was gone. I wanted to hold his hand. Tell him my dreams again. Laugh and joke with him.

"Goodbye my jack." I whispered to myself.

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