Philophobia » larry au

In which Louis wants Harry's love so badly since he can feel none other.

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Chapter one » Louis

 

I crammed spoonfuls of Lucky Charms cereal into my mouth, nearly choking on the leftover milk. My mum raised an eyebrow at my sloppy actions. I swallowed four big spoonfuls as I winced from the pain and pressure.

 

"I can't be late for school," I told her, moving my feet around under the table. My ankles rubbed against each other. I only do that when I'm nervous. And right now; I am nervous. Hell, I am more than nervous. So nervous I can't even come up with a word to describe how nervous I am.

 

"Since when have you cared so much about school?" She crossed her arms like she usually does. "Every time I come to wake you, you groan and hiss. But today, you finally want to go to school?"

 

I nodded. "But mum, I don't always fuss when you come to wake me up. Sometimes, I get up all by myself." This was partly true; by partly I mean not true at all.

 

"Oh, sorry, my bad. You never do that, Lou." My mum said sarcastically. Suppose I'm rubbing off on her. "Seriously, darling, what's got you all excited for school?" A massive grin appeared on my face.

 

"You know Harry? Well, he's been sick for exactly three days and four hours, and he's coming back to school today!" I practically screamed in her ear. "My husband is returning, mum!"

 

"Harry? Louis, you sound like a girl. All obsessed over a guy in your class. That's almost..creepy." She laughed. "He bullied you for five years, gave you a black eye, rejected you millions of times, yet you still call him your husband?" I gave her a nod.

 

I don't care what Harry has done to me or said about me, I am in love with him. Love can't just be broken, you know? He doesn't love me back nor does he even have the tiniest feelings for me, but I'm never going to give up. One day when he's married and crowned sexiest man on earth, I'll still be in the background asking him to take my hand instead of some other girl. At school, he's straight, but I think he could be gay for me.

 

"One day, mum. One day he'll take me and I'll have my happy ending. He's just so perfect." I lay my feathery brown hair on the table, blissfully sighing of many feelings. My hair used to be in a quiff, but I've banged my head on the table so many times that it isn't anymore.

 

"I have to say, it's amazing what you're doing for this boy. He just doesn't realize it, Lou!" My mum patted my head that was still on the table. "I think the bus is here, babe. Have a great day at school."

 

I picked up my backpack and slung it onto my back. "I definitely will." I smiled and walk outside. Sure enough, the yellow hell wagon was waiting for me. "Harry, here I come." I say to myself before walking to the door.

 

Harry does ride my bus. He sits in the very back, two seats in front of the emergency exit. I, however, sit in the middle. There, I have a perfect shot of Harry's perfect face. Occasionally, his green eyes meet mine and he'll mutter faggot, but I love him the same.

 

"You comin' or not, kid?" The deep voice of the bus driver asked me. I didn't realize I had zoned out until now.

 

"Oh, yeah. Sorry!" I mumbled quietly, hopping on the bus and going to my seat. Zayn, my only friend, was already seated there and staring out the window. "Zayn!" I yelled.

 

"God, Lou. You scared me." He held a hand over his heart. I'm not sure how that's helping anything. "Harry's back." Zayn smirked.

 

"I know," I turned around and looked at him. His curly hair was flowing flawlessly, his skin was perfectly tan, his eyes were their perfect green color. I don't see how he can get over a sickness and still look fabulously amazing.

 

"Oh my god, Zayn. He's so fucking sexy and flawless. I just..oh god." I pretend to die and laid my head on my friend's shoulder.

 

"You're pathetic, you know that?" Zayn nudged my head off of his shoulder. "Maybe today is finally your day, Lou. Maybe Harry's sickness turned his gay."

 

I softly punched his arm. "Dude, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life and I've seen my mum read her diary."

 

"You never know. I never said it was reasonable, did I? No, no I don't think I did!" He shrugged his shoulders. "But, maybe-"

 

Zayn was interrupted when a pencil came charging for us from the back of the bus. It hit me in the neck and I winced. I looked up to see one of the guys from Harry's pack, Niall, giving me a death stare.

 

"Hey, fag!" Niall called out. I knew he was talking to me. Zayn is one hundred percent straight, His girlfriend Perrie is very lovely. "Would quit looking back here? What are you doing anyway? Jacking off to all the guys? Harry?"

 

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah because you can so totally see me with my willy out, Niall. Yes, I'm jacking off." The words sarcastically rolled off my tongue. Niall didn't say anything to me after that.

 

"Hey, Lou?" Zayn asked me. I turned towards him. "Do you..Are you okay? I mean, they pick on you like that every single day."

 

"Of course I'm okay," I said. "It doesn't phase me anymore. I'm used to it, Z. Besides, it's all worth it when I get to see Harry." I smiled.

 

"But someone shouldn't have it get used to something like that." Zayn frowned. "You are really strong, mate. I'll give you that one for sure. Dedicated, too."

 

"I'll be anything for Harry." I shrugged. The bus stopped at the school. I sat down and waited until the big bunch in the front had gotten off before I stood up. When I stood up, I was flashed by green eyes. Harry's to be exact. Our lips were close to touching and that increased my pulse.

 

Neither one of us moved more a while. Harry seemed frozen almost. Not wanting to hold up the line, I shifted my head over and away from his, then got off the bus. Anywhere else, I probably would've stayed, but this was on a bus.

 

"What was that?" Zayn asked me in the hallway of the school. To be honest, I'm not really sure. Why didn't Harry move?

 

"I don't know. I just stood up and there he was!" My fingers ran through my hair that I still hadn't out back into a quiff. Eh, fuck it. "Maybe Harry is really, really close to falling for me.."

 

"I don't know. He could be..Harry doesn't show a whole lot of emotion, so it will be hard to ever tell what he's feeling." I nodded. Zayn and I walked to our locker. We have different first blocks, but our classes are pretty similar. I have math. (Kill me.) Zayn has literature.

 

I hate math in the mornings, but guess who's in that class and sits right in front of me? Harry. It's like we were meant to be because I have all classes with him. Better yet, when I walk to most of my classes, I walk by Harry's locker. Sometimes, I'll talk to him.

 

"I'll see you later, Zayn. Don't miss me too much." I joked. Zayn rolled his eyes and closed the door to his locker, which is beside mine,

 

"Oh, don't worry. I won't have a problem with that, Louis." He smirked and walked to class. That bastard. He loves me, I know he does. I just wish Harry would love me too..

 

I skipped down the hallway, searching for Harry. Luckily, he was at his locker. To make it even more perfect, he was alone. That means no annoying Niall or Liam. "Hi, Harry." I said happily, standing a good distance away from him.

 

He turned around and frowned. "Oh, it's you." Harry sneered. "What do you what? I've got to get to class, you know?"

 

"I don't want anything." I replied. "How are you? I missed you while you were sick. I missed you a lot." Harry slammed his locker shut.

 

"That's nice. You are only the tenth person to tell me that this morning." He rolled his eyes. I put on a big grin and just stared at him. "Why the hell are you looking at me like that?"

 

"Like what?" I questioned him. He muttered something I couldn't hear. "Well, bye. I didn't wanna be caught with a faggot again, okay?"

 

I sighed and watched his cute figure disappear into the hallway. His words left a bullet hole in my chest, and I wanted him to be the one to fill it, not cause it. No, I'm not thinking about giving up, I just wish he would fucking give me a chance. What's so bad about me, anyway?

 

I caught myself thinking negatively and having to wipe tears from my eyes. When I calmed down, I walked to class. People were gathered together and talking to their friends. I took my seat by a guy named Luke Hemmings. Harry was still seated in front of me, no one sits beside him so I have no competition.

 

Math started and I let out a very long groan. My teacher stared at me until I finished, then he gave me a nasty glare. "Tomlinson, shall I make you move to the very front by Mr. Styles over here? That's how he got up here, interrupting the class. And I suppose you want that to, yes?"

 

"Actually, I wouldn't mind sitting by the sexist guy in school," My sexuality and feels for Harry are no secret as you can tell. I don't give a fuck what people say. "But I hate the front, so no, I'd rather not."

 

I looked back up to Mr. Kelly. He was giving me an even nastier glare. Then, I glanced at Harry. I swear to everything I saw him blushing, but that could just be my imagination.

 

"I don't appreciate your attitude." Mr. Kelly slowly walked towards me. To my left, Luke slouched down in his seat. "And because of that, you will be moving to the front and you will be coming to my class during study hall to help me grade test and other things."

 

I shrugged. "Okay, then. That doesn't bother me as much as you probably want it to, but okay." I gathered my things up. "Bye, Lukey."

 

My teacher scoffed and watched me sit down beside Mr. sex (Harry). I could tell that Harry was frowning and a bit disappointed, but you know. I was glad. This might bring us closer..or maybe it won't like all of the other times.

 

"Before Tomlinson decided to interrupt class, I was planning on reviewing
 some algebra." I held in all groans; which I'm sure Mr. Kelly appreciated. "Who can answer number one on the board?"

 

Nobody raised their hand. At this point, I could handle it no more. Laughter bubbled out of my throat. "Why are you interrupting again?" He boomed.

 

"I-I.." You must think I'm a bad student, but I'm usually not like this. I blame Harry. That boy does some freaky shit to me. I swear.

 

"Why don't you solve number one for us?" Mr. Kelly threw me a black marker. "On the board." I shrugged and swayed my hips up to the front of the room. From the corner of my eye, I swear I caught Harry staring at my butt.

 

I'm fine with that. I've been told many times that I have a good ass, but for Harry to stare at it is such an honor. And wow, that sounds creepy, doesn't it?

 

"Uh.." I placed a hand on my hip, thinking about the answer. It was some stupid, complicated problem. Was it geometry? Algebra? Simple math? I don't know; I don't pay attention in this class.

 

"You know what, Mr. Kelly?" I turned around and looked at him. "I think you should get someone who actually pays attention in this class to solve the problem."

 

"Well, you know what, Mr. Tomlinson?" He mocked. "I think you should start paying attention, now solve the problem."

 

I shrugged, wrote down the number 5, then returned to my seat. "You didn't even try!" My teacher yelled at me. "Anyway, I'm done with this. Class will be dismissed in five minutes, enjoy your free time."

 

One of my famous grins moved onto my face again as I turned to Harry. "Harry," I whispered. "Guess what?"

 

"What?" He asked annoyed, not even bothering to look at my handsome self. My grin impossibly widened.

 

"I saw you staring at my ass." I giggled.

 

"I wasn't-"

 

"Yes, you were. I saw you. Does this mean you'll finally give me a chance and got out with me, Harry?" This was taking a big step but it was worth a try. Definitely worth it.

 

"No. I wasn't even staring at your..yeah. Louis, I'm not a fucking faggot like you are so please leave me alone!" Harry yelled. The room fell silent.

 

Under my breath I said, "I love you too, Harry. I'll just pretend you said what I wanted you to."

 

And like that; my smile was gone.

 

A/N: so that was the first chapter..feedback please. shall I continue?

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