"and you know, at the end of the day, personality doesn't even matter...no one falls in love with personality at first sight... so I drink away the memories, and smoke away the thoughts, and they beat away the feelings. but I'm okay with that, cause the numbness makes me feel okay for once, it makes all of this pain and regret okay. but then HE came along... he realized what could break me, and he promised he wouldn't let it."


2. Heartless Deranged Girl

Club Deron is a popular name around this city,

considering the fact that it's open 24 hours to all the low life drunkies living here with no money and jobs.

The alcohol is pretty strong, sometimes we like to spice things up a bit by spiking someone’s drink, it get boring every now and then.

Mikey cleans the tables,

Carter mixes the drinks,

Trevor controls all lights and music,

and Me?

I wait for my signal.

I'd explain a little further into what it is I do, but frankly I'm not quite proud of it.

some may call it prostituting, others may call it slutting around, but I call it, doing what you got to do to stay alive.

Alexander Greenbay,

a name folks around here tend to avoid.

He's my father,

and also one of the most well known drug dealers in the city.

2 things he doesn't like,

being ripped off,

and being disobeyed.

My scars and bruises could confirm that.

knife cuts,

hand marks,

cigarette burns,

and glass scratches,

are the punishments he gives to his own daughter.

But at the end of the day, I deserve everything I get.

I'm a sinner.

I've done bad and I've done little good,

but they say I'll never make it to heaven,

and that no amount of prayers can save my soul.

But they don't know me,

I don't believe in that god shit.

Cause if god existed, he would save me like he does in the bible stories,

he would come and take me away from everything,

from everyone.

But he never came,

he never saved me,

so I saved myself.

I saved my body,

but my soul was long gone,

Now here I am,

a heartless deranged girl,

who sleeps with people for money,

and wastes away what little of a life she had, in a corner club,

on the same stool,

smelling the same damn alcohol and sweat smell,

while drinking away the pain that still seemed to be left inside of her.

I wanted everything,

but I settled for nothing.
































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