38. The Note
I collapse on my bed when I get home. I slept horribly at the hospital. My sleep was riddled with dreams of life without Niall. I woke up crying twice. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. I can't function if I don't have at least six hours of sleep. I keep my phone right next to me, just in case. I wake up when my phone rings. My heart leaps and my stomach twists itself into a knot. He's dead, is the first thing I think. I snatch my phone from my nightstand and answer it. "Hello?" I ask, my voice high pitched and unsteady. "Have you heard from Zayn lately?" Emma replies, sounding frantic. "No, I haven't seen him since last night," I tell her. "Why? What's going on?" I sit up and drag my fingers through my hair in case I have to hurry out again. "He left a note...and no one knows where he is...or if he's okay..." Emma says in choppy fragments. "What did the note say?" I ask, already standing and putting on shoes. "It said I can't take it anymore," Emma says and she starts crying. "Emma, don't cry, I'll be right there," I reply while racing down the stairs at top speed. "Is Niall okay?" I ask, feeling guilty that I'm asking about Niall when we need to worry about Zayn. "Yeah, he's doing a little better actually," Emma tells me. "Thank God," I say. "Okay, I'm getting into my car now. Where are you?" Emma gives me the address of Zayn's place and I punch it into my GPS. "I'm on my way," I say, backing out of my driveway. "Okay, see you soon," Emma says, still sounding desperate. I drive crazily to Zayn's house. When I get there I see Liam's car parked in the driveway and Emma's car parked alongside the curb. I park behind Emma and run up to the front door. "You're here!" Liam says, flinging open the door. "I came as soon as I could," I reply. He gives me a hug before turning to Emma. "You might want to go calm her down," he whispers to me. "She's freaking out." I nod and make my way to Emma. "Hey," I say, putting an arm around her shoulders. She's sobbing. "Ally, what if he killed himself?" she says. My breath hitches in my throat. I hadn't even thought about that possibility. "I'm sure he just left for a little while," I say, trying to console her. "We have to call the police," Harry says from where he's sitting nearby. Liam agrees, saying, "Harry's right. There's nothing we can do. The police can at least look for clues or something." Emma shakes her head vehemently and pushes both me and Lacey away. "No. We can't call the police." Everyone looks at her. "Why not?" Louis asks. "Because..." Emma takes a deep breath. "He told me a few days ago if anything were to happen to him, he doesn't want the police to get involved. I didn't think anything of it. We were all kind of on edge. I didn't ask why. What if this is what he meant?" We're all silent for a moment. "So he planned this," Lacey whispers. "We could look for him," Kat offers from where she's sat quietly the whole time. No one says anything else, but we're all thinking the same thing. There might not be a person to look for by now.