14. Chapter fourteen
November came and went without Jack. I didn't see him once. I was starting to get worried that something had happened to him but I quickly dismissed these thoughts from my mind. Jack was a vampire, I wasn't even sure he could physically get hurt.
Worry turned into sadness as December began. Meg could tell that something was wrong but initially I didn't want to tell her what it was. She would only be happy that Jack wasn't around any more. I really missed him. His easy banter was comfortable and I knew I could tell him anything without him judging me. Eventually I gave in and told Meg what was wrong. As I expected she seemed only to pleased to hear it, and then proceeded to tell me how great Andy was every time she saw me after that.
December bought with it the Christmas Ball put on by our Halls. Last year I was going with Mark and was looking forward to it immensely. This year not only was I going alone but I had to see Mark there with Natalya. Needless to say I wasn't looking forward to it so much this time. But if there was anything my dad taught me it was to hold my head up high, so I would be there in a killer dress and killer heels and show Mark just what he was missing.
I just couldn't stay away. I tried. I really tried. Scarlet was safer without me in her life, but my life just didn't seem to mean anything with Scarlet. Damn the council.
My month away from her had been eye opening. At first I turned to blood. I was preying on petite blonde things and not caring if they lived or died. Just like the old Jack. But I just couldn't do it any more.
When I saw the life fade from a girls eyes I felt something that I'd never felt before. Guilt. And it was all because of Scarlet. I knew she would disapprove, I knew she thought I was better than that, and I wanted to be. She made me want to be a better man.
My mind flashed back to Eleanor's comments on that ill-fated day about a month ago: "do you wish to turn her into your eternal mate?" I'd replied with 'no' and at the time that was true. Now I couldn't help but imagine what that life would be like. What it would be like to have Scarlet at my side, day and night, with no one to stop us from doing anything.
It was the first week of December and without realising it I had gravitated back to her university campus. I wandered over to her building and stared up at her window. I was considering turning around and leaving, for her own good, but as I was about to take a step Scarlet appeared at the window. She stared out at the night sky with such a look of sadness on her beautiful face that my cold, dead heart broke into two. I had to fix it, make her happy, never let that look cross her features again.