Oblivion (+16)

My head hurt and my eyes were too red. I couldn't help but wonder what my life would've been, could've been, if I hadn't met Harry. I don't like him. He's the kind of person they tell naïve girls like me to stay away from. I'm stupid and helpless. I have no one to run to, and the sad part is knowing that I have no one to blame, but myself. I got myself into this mess, and now all that's left is, oblivion.


3. three.

     I stared down at the carpet that had patterns stitched into it. I like it here. It’s warm and they have vending machines on every other corner. My eyes skimmed each room number. Some had posters and little sticky notes attached to the brown doors. I liked the white boards that had the names of the people living there scribbled on it. I really hope my roommate is nice. I hope she loves books as much as I do. I stop in my tracks as I see my dorm number. We’re towards the back hall, but I like being secluded. I take a deep breath and tell myself to be nice no matter the situation. My hands are cold against the metal handle. I push it down slightly and the door sounds a quiet click. I step into a dark room. I’m dumbfounded at first and flip the light switch on. Nobody’s here at the moment, but someone definitely lives here. I take a look around to find an empty, made bed. It’s a small bed compared to my old one, but I don’t mind. The dorm is much bigger than I imagined it to be. There’s a white futon in the middle of our two beds. And a wide body mirror. I walk over to the mirror and soon realize that it’s a closet. It’s pretty clever to give the illusion that a closet is a mirror. My roommate’s clothes are lovely. She has a lot of floral dresses and tight black ones. She seems nice already. I wonder where she is. I walk over to a small pile of cosmetic brushes and makeup. It’s the expensive kind I never could afford. I pad back over to my bed and began to unpack. I assumed the small left over closet space and 3 drawers were saved for me. After I finished unpacking, it was almost midnight. I sighed because despite the time change, I had yet to feel fatigue. In all honesty, I’m terrified. I don’t know New York like I know my hometown. I think classes start next week. Hopefully my roommate will be nice enough to show me around. I really hope she’s not new here like me. I sit on my bed stare at myself through the mirror. My curls are faded and my eyes have smudges from my makeup. I slouch as I exhale and pull out some pajamas from the drawer.

     After I’m fully moisturized and all my makeup has been removed, I slip into my pajamas. They smell like home, and my heart aches already. I comb my hair out and the curls eventually turn into waves. I walk over to my bed and pull back the sheets. My mystery roommate has yet to appear, and I don’t know if I should be worried. She’s probably out with her boyfriend or something I tell myself as I shrug. I curl up in my sheets and they feel unfamiliar against my skin. I’m feeling hesitant about this place, but it’ll be okay, I tell myself over again, soothing my nerves. My eyes close and sleep takes over my body.

     I awake abruptly at the sound of people laughing and chattering. I rub my eyes and the voices become louder as my hearing adjusts. I flick on a side lamp near and sit up in my bed. The light stings my eyes and I blink a couple of times as 3 people come into view. They notice me and it becomes silent. Do they have the wrong dorm?

“Um, hey. Why are you in my dorm?” One of them asks. She’s a girl and her hair is long and black, reaching to her waist. She’s wearing a black dress that has a slit right through the right side. She’s stunning even at whatever time it is in the morning. A guy stands next to her and clears his throat. My mind catches up and I find my voice.

“Oh. You must be my uh, roommate” I say, my voice cracking.                                                                                   

“Oh! I forgot someone was going to move in!” She exclaims, “Wow, sorry for waking you up we just came back from a party, but my name’s Kendall” She smiles at me

“Hi Kendall” I try my best to diminish the awkward in the room. “My name’s Lana and this isn’t how I imagined we’d meet” I laugh nervously. The girl and boy standing beside her stare at me. The girl has blonde hair and she’s wearing bright red lipstick and a red dress to match. She looks gorgeous with her blue eyes. My eyes skim over the guy, he’s tall and blonde as well. He’s wearing a dark blue shirt that hugs his chest and reveals every muscle on his body. I smile at them both and cough a fake cough then look back at Kendall.

“Shit. I’m sorry, these are my friends Niall and Sophie” She gestures towards them with her hands. I pull the covers off of me and walk over to them, smoothing my pajamas. I hold out my hand and Sophie gladly shakes it and gives me a warm smile. I turn to Niall and he repeats the gesture.

“So, um Kendall are we gonna head out now?” Niall questions. He has an Irish accent and I’m taken aback by it.

“Right, just let me change” She assures them and walks into the mirror closet. I sit back down on my bed and cover myself again. I glance at the alarm clock and realize its 2:37 in the morning.

“Where are you guys off to?” I ask running my fingers through my hair.

“We were gonna grab some drinks at a new bar that just opened up” He answers and I try my hardest to suppress my smile at the sound of his voice. Kendall peaks her head out from the mirror closet,

“They’re supposed to have smoking hot guys as waiters” She giggles and I immediately like her humor.

Sophie speaks up, “I still don’t understand why you’re changing then!” She calls to Kendall whose laugh is muffled from the mirror closet. I smile and look over at Niall, he grins and rolls his eyes at them. Kendall emerges wearing white ripped shorts and a pink flow-y tank top that reveals her mid drift. She looks even prettier than when I first saw her. I want to remind her that it’s cold outside, but I don’t want to sound like a mom. She sure sounds like she knows New York, better than me at least.

“Aright, lets gooo” Niall complains to both Kendall and Sophie who look themselves over in the mirror. I stare intently at them and when I look at Niall he’s staring at me. I look away quickly and return my gaze back to the girls.

“Oh Niall, calm down” Sophie lightly pushes his shoulder and giggles before walking out the door. Niall exhales an exasperated sigh and leans against the doorway, waiting for Kendall. She picks up her wallet and phone and looks back at me.

“Hey do you want to come?” She smiles at me

“Oh, thanks but no thanks. I really should get some rest” I reply honestly to her and half smile.

“Awh, well okay it was great to meet you, Lana. I promise we can get to know each other sometime soon” She gives a warm grin. I nod my head and smile back; she walks towards the door with Niall. His hand rests on the doorknob and he’s leaning against the door now.

“Hey it was nice meeting you, Lana” He nods and smiles at me, closing the door. I exhale, not knowing I held in my air and lay back in my bed. 


*it'll get better I promise*

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