Oblivion (+16)

My head hurt and my eyes were too red. I couldn't help but wonder what my life would've been, could've been, if I hadn't met Harry. I don't like him. He's the kind of person they tell naïve girls like me to stay away from. I'm stupid and helpless. I have no one to run to, and the sad part is knowing that I have no one to blame, but myself. I got myself into this mess, and now all that's left is, oblivion.


1. one.

     I’ve always been an artistic person. I don’t mean painting and sketching and sculpting, things like that. I’m a very passionate person when it comes to acting, and writing. I fell in love with books. Classic books. The kind that make your heart weep every time you read a sentence. I fell in love with authors. The way they would describe their characters. You could see a hint of themselves they put into the book. It’s comforting. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, a journalist, or even a publisher. New York has been my dream. Big cities are where I belong. The day I was accepted into New York University was the best day of my life. I couldn’t stop smiling for a week. I leave in about a week, and I couldn’t be happier. My dreams are finally emerging and coming true. I’ll be the person my younger self has always strived to be.

     The familiar zip of my suitcase rung in my ears. This is really happening. I’m going to New York. Once I leave, there’s no turning back. My stomach flopped, everything will be fine. It’ll be good for me to get away. NYU will be home for me for the next 4 years.  I hear a soft knock on my door.

“Lana dear, are you ready?” My mother’s familiar voice sounds. I smile at her and nod. She’s wearing a nice yellow sundress and her makeup is perfected. My mother has always been my best friend. I questioned myself why I curled my hair for a 5 and a half hour plane ride. I’ve never rode a plane before and I never fathomed my first time to be by myself. I secretly wished my mother would come with me. But there’s no sense in her buying another plane ticket, only to come back that exact day. It’s just me against the world.

     Mother helps me with my bags and we make our way towards the car. I decided on wearing my high school sweatshirt. It was dark green and had the words Saint Mary’s High School stitched on the front. I held so many memories from high school. I smiled at the thoughts of them while I sat down in the passenger seat.

“I’m sorry your father couldn’t be here to say goodbye one last time” Mother frowns

“That’s okay, I said my good bye to him last night” I smiled at her.

     My father was always busy with work, but I guess It’s not his fault. The engine of the car comes to life and I take in a deep breath, taking in the realization of everything. We pulled onto the freeway heading to the airport.

     I’m going to miss California and the beaches and museums they have here. We turned the corner and the airport came to view. My heart skipped and I blinked a couple of times. We found parking too fast, and before I knew it I was hugging my mother good bye. She looked at me with her big brown eyes. Her hands rested on my shoulders and I tried my best to cease my tears from falling. They threatened my eyes.

She sighed, “Okay sweetie, this is it!” She encouraged me with a big smile

I forced a laugh, “I know, Mother. It’s finally happening” I say gesturing towards the colossal airport we stood upon. She pulled me into a hug. And I couldn’t help it any longer. Tears dripped down my cheeks. I don’t want to leave Mother. She releases me

“Oh honey, don’t cry!” She wiped my tears with her thumbs, “You’ll call me everyday okay?” She half commanded half asked. I nodded my head and sniffled. We hugged one last time and I reluctantly made my way towards security with my bags in my hand. I can do this, I said to myself.

     Security was a drag. I never thought they would be so cautious about who can and can’t enter the plane. Although I shouldn’t be surprised seeming how many attacks and robberies they’ve had over the course of 10 years. I chose my seat in the back and waited patiently for takeoff. I read somewhere that takeoff and landing was the most dangerous part of flying. My stomach churned and my heart beat accelerated. The flight attendant came over the intercom

“Hello and thank you for choosing United Airlines as your travel source. Takeoff will be in about 10 minutes, if you could take your seats that would be nice. Please and thank you.” She smiled and people began to crowd into the plane. I thanked god no one sat next to me. I remembered that I forgot my book in my main bag with all of my clothes. I mentally slapped myself on the forehead. What am I going to do for 5 and a half hours? I’m most certainly not going to sleep. The flight attendants voice came again


“5 more minutes passengers. Please take your seats” She said repeating it one more time.

I looked up to my luggage that was already stuffed above in the compartments. More and more people began sitting down. I huffed in annoyance as I made my way to the middle of the plane. I pulled up the cabinet and dug through my bag for my old copy of Antony and Cleopatra by William Shakespeare. Zipping up my bag and closing the cabinet door, I quickly made my way back to my seat. Making sure I didn’t trip on anybody’s feet. My book had years of wear and tear on it, but I didn’t mind. I took a glance out of the window and gave my last goodbyes to California. New York, here I come.

*This actually took me forever to write but thanks for reading, feedback is much appreciated. I promise you it'll get better*

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