Two D’s and an E. Two D’s and an E...Fuck.
Was pretty much the gist of what was running through Cody Thomas’ brain as he sat on the bus on the way home from school. For most, results day was a day of celebration, for Cody it was a day of many emotions. Most being from the ‘sadness’, ‘anger’ or ‘fear’ compartments in Cody’s brain. His plan for the day this morning had been optimistic, go to school, get results, go home, tell parents, celebrate, get pissed with friends. Now all they seemed to consist of was: Avoid parents, smash head against wall, get pissed on my own in my bedroom. Not the cheeriest to-do list you’ve ever seen, but at least he had goals. Small, but goals none the less.
The twenty minuet bus journey home from school seemed to pass by much quicker than it usually did, Cody hypothesised that perhaps, if one absolutely did NOT want to reach the destination to which they were heading, the journey indeed did go faster. Yet another way how the human mind causes itself to suffer.
He walked up the driveway and opened the door, gasping in pain and showing an apparent fondness for words beginning with ‘f’ and ‘s’ as his big toe slammed against a very large suitcase which just beyond the front entrance to his house. He limped into the kitchen where his parents were stood, side by side, arms crossed, brows furrowed. Similar – Cody thought – To the pair of angry guard dogs at the door to the mayor’s house. One thin and vicious, teeth sharp and pointed. The other plump and unthreatening, as if sitting on you was his primary strategy whilst the other ripped out your throat. Though conversely, and unfortunately, he soon discovered, these ones talked.
The fat one spoke first. “Hello son.”
“Hi Dad.” Cody responded nervously, the tension in the room was killing him. “Why is there a suitcase by the front door?”
Mother now chose to pipe up. “What are your grades?”
You were never one to fuck about were you mom.”It’s just ‘cause I hit my toe against it, it kinda hurts...”
“Cody Thomas, answer my question.” The Throat-Ripper Stated.
“But you didn’t answer-“Cody cut this snide remark short, as he feared his mother would burst a blood vessel at one more syllable.
Although, it may be too late, her eyes are half way out of her face.
“I got uh...two Ds and an E...” Cody lifted his arm and offered the report to his mother, then his father, then simply dropped it on the floor between them. Hoping the two would fight over it and he could make a quick escape. All to no avail...“That suitcase...it’s not mine is it?...”
Silence from the dogs.
“Oh...right...I didn’t think you meant it when you said-“
“You failed Cody, you’re not welcome here. You’re 18, you’re an adult, your uncle will get you a job near where he lives, you will be staying with him.”
“I’ve never even met him! I didn’t even know I had an Uncle!”
“Don’t be stupid Cody, he’s your father’s...what was it again dear?”
The plump one seemed to re-zone-in to the conversation at that point, the rest of the time had been spent staring at the floor like a scolded puppy. He turned his head sideways to see a pair of bulging eyes glaring at him and he jumped a little. “I’ll..I’ll put the kettle on!” He said quickly, as a last attempt to stop the Throat-Ripper from pouncing on him, before turning, striding as fast as he could – straight past the kettle – to the toilet, and locking himself in.
After that The Mother proceeded to call a taxi, give Cody a piece of paper with his Uncle/some-other-sort-of-male-relative’s address on it, throw his case in the boot and send Cody packing, off to the airport and away from the town he had never left for any reason in his life. Where he would then get on what he thought must have been the cheapest plane ticket to Scotland from east sussex airport ever bought, have to put up with crying babies and no leg room for the whole journey, and then arrive at his destination. A town in the middle of no-where with a man he had never met, who could be a psycho or a mass murderer or anything!
Well at least it was away from his parents.