I've looked horrid for the past week. When Jax and I saw our mentors we were fine. But when we left, Jax couldn't look at them without screaming "Why?!". I can understand why she does that though. We have gotten a new house, further away from our old one.
I can't believe this year started amazing, and nothing worrying me to this. Going back into The Games, is horror. Death actually... I might die... I want to. Life is too hard. But, if I do, Mother and Pearl will also die of starvation. I haven't told my mother about The Hunger Games yet... There will be a small reaping, with District 3 and 4, where Jax and I say goodbye, when we might never return again.
"Why?" I repeat Jax's words but in a whisper. She was right. Why? Why is this happening? Now more questions for me.
My district. The fire. The Games. Mentors. Why? That's all I want to know. I will probably die not knowing the answers to this. I'm going crazy! Am I? These questions are keeping me awake at night. Everything is. Nothing will make me not think about it.
"Cyanna?" I hear a voice.
"What?!" I snap, not turning around.
"Are you thinking of The Games?" It's Pearl. By that question I know it is.
"Yes... I might-"
"Win." She interrupts.
"Yes... That's what I was going to say!" Not.
"Good... Mother wants you to hunt. Can you?"
"Yes. I can." Sighing I pick up my bow and arrows and put my boots on. I cringe at the sight of it, knowing I'll get shot by one in The Games if I'm not quick.
I walk out of the house, into the woods and take a deep breath, exhaling the freshness of the trees and grass. I feel a lot calmer here. Just me. I walk a bit deeper into the woods and find two rabbits.
"Perfect..." I whisper and shoot them in the stomach. I carefully pick them up and run back home. I walk by Jax's house and sigh. I haven't seen her all week. I tap on the door and her face pokes round the side.
"Oh, hi." She says.
"Hi. You alright? You seem alert.." I ask.
"Yes, yes. I'm fine. Just tired,"
"Then get some rest," I open the door and hug her.
"Oh before you go. I got a call from Biram saying tomorrow we leave to the Capitol."
"Yes...." Jax sighs, "It'll be the small reaping this afternoon."
"OK... See you there?"
I walk back to my house and place the dead rabbits on the table and the phone rings. My mother runs over to it and picks it up, just saying "Yes, OK... Thank you," and hangs up. She runs over to me and hugs me tight.
"You need to be brave Mother..." I mutter.
"I will." She takes a deep breath,"Let's get ready."
Pearl gets in her same reaping outfit and so does Mother. I'm still confused with Kiar making me wear gold. That's for District 2, so I stay away from gold. I wear a dark blue dress that goes to my knees and I braid my hair. Sighing I slip on dark blue shoes as well.
"Before we go, I want you two to be brave when I go. If I die, stay strong...I'll protect you," I say firmly.
"Yes..." Whispers Pearl, and I grab her hand walking out to the area of the reaping. This year I'm on the stage with Neddie, Jax, Stafftip and Biram. I let go of Pearl and stand on the stage on the right side of Neddie.
"Cyanna I'm sorry," she whispers.
"Don't be," I say quietly. The reaping starts and Neddie does her speech and tells everyone the tributes. A tear runs down my cheek, as she passes the microphone to me.
"Thank you. Everyone. To the sponsors who kept me alive in the Games. And Jax. This could be the end of us. I'm perplexed. Why should this happen to us? Why no one else? T-Thank you. That's all from me..." Another tear rolls down my cheek, and people press their three middle fingers against their mouths and hold it up. I copy them. Next, Jax says her stuff.
"The Games i-is horror. I don't want to go back... Please, please I beg you to be our sponsors. Please stay the same. To my family. To Cyanna's. We love you. All." She breaks into tears and runs over to me, sobbing into my dress. Peacekeepers come and pull us in a direction to the train.
"We didn't say bye!" Yells Jax.
"Pearl! Mother! I love you!" I yell.
"I love you all!" Yells Jax, and we are put on the train and the doors shut. Jax hugs me tight and has shaky breaths.
"It's ok... It's ok Jax..." I whisper, and our mentors and Neddie come in. Stafftip runs over and hugs us both, mumbling "Sorry, sorry, sorry,"
The train starts moving, and I look out the window to fill up my memory of the Victors Village and District 3 and 4.