Yeah, I remember. It felt like just yesterday I was laying in the hospital bed. Wow, I guess we kind of switched positions. I won't stop writing, I don't think I could handle it either. I'd miss you too much. I'd call you but my phone is being stupid. I don't know when it'll get fixed. Soon, I hope. I remember our first kiss as well. Honestly, I'd rather have that terrible cold then take back that moment. It was amazing, honestly. You're definitely not a bad kisser ;)
Yeah, it stormed here last night. I wish mail could get here instantly. It would be more...realistic? I don't know, I'm babbling now. Oh, and can I send ten thousand kisses back? Wow...that would make my lips tired! I...I won't bottle things up again but it's hard for me to talk about what goes on. It's the fear of things never to happen. Fear of things that could happen. Fear and hatred in general. People at school sure aren't making it better. You don't know much about my school life, I never tell you but I guess everything has a start.
Okay, this all started longer before I met you. Which is why I don't want to load you with the drama! Once you get annoyed, just remember you asked! ;) Okay so lets begin with sixth grade. Early now isn't it? I told you. I know you may think, why am I grieving over something that happened so long ago? Well, things continued to build up which you'll read God knows how long from now. Okay so it was the end of the year, and I was so excited to switch buildings and meet new people. Sixth grade had been, for the most part, amazing and with my friends by my side it couldn't get better. That last day of school, I had asked my friends if they wanted to hang out later and they straight up ignored me. I brushed it off, I thought maybe they were in a bad mood.
As the day went on, they began getting mean. They weren't simply ignoring me anymore. They were sending me dirty looks and spitting rude things at me. I didn't understand why and when lunch came, they kicked me away from the table. Nobody else would let me sit and eat so I went into the bathroom. I tried to eat but sobs soon left my lips and I began crying. A lot. Lunch ended and I was terrified to go back out. I was about to open the door and go to class when I heard the sound of heels clicking against the floor. My eyes widened and I locked the stall door, climbing onto the toilet seat so they couldn't see me. It was Haley, Portia and Kaylee. They were the most popular girls at school and for some reason they absolutely hated me.
I kept quiet and they began talking as I listened intently. I know eavesdropping isn't good but I knew they were talking about me. I can't remember everything exactly. What they said is kind of a blur but I remember the basics. They pretty much talked about how Macy was planning on finishing me off after school. Also known as, I'd end up bloody on the ground. It had happened before but this time I knew it meant more. Macy never got to finish what she wanted to because the principal came so once we were off school grounds, I knew she'd take her chance to hurt me. I tried to hold in my cries but I couldn't and I let one slip. All their talking stopped and they began kicking stalls open. Thank God I had locked mine, but Portia had another idea. She looked beneath the stall and narrowed her eyes once she saw me. I gasped, and I climbed beneath the stalls until I reached the door. They ran after me but I hurried and ran out of the school entrance. I'm surprised teachers hadn't begun chasing me. It was the last day though and I'm pretty sure they didn't care.
Anyways I ran all the way home, locked myself in my room and began crying. My parents were never home so they were no help. Although whether they wanted to help or not I probably wouldn't have let them. Things gathered and collected from there and on my fourteenth birthday, I was at the ice skating rink. I had managed to make a friend at summer camp and so far it had been going so far. In fact, it still is. You know Cassie! We're best friends! Anyways, I was at the ice skating rink and so were the girls. They just happened to be there. On my damn birthday. I panicked and I hurried to the bathroom, leaning against the wall. I breathed heavily and I was so scared, I forgot to lock the door. They stormed in and well, you know what happens. I told you that part. I would have bled to death if Cassie wouldn't have called staff to the scene, I would have got beaten to death. Sad story, yeah I know. The following two years, I was still forced to attend that school and the beatings became regular. Soon after, I was officially diagnosed with depression. I was sent to a therapist to talk and it helped some but I still bottled everything up.
It was like everybody hated me. Until senior year I was destroyed. Things were dark and depressing for me and it seemed it'd never look up. Until the summer before freshman year of college. I had just applied to a Christian college. People there were so sweet and I could finally smile without forcing it. Anyways, the summer before freshman year of college...I met you. It was like meeting your other half. The person who completes you. I loved you almost instantly, and yes, just like you I had to wait to confirm it but I kind of knew at the same moment you did. Our first kiss. It took too long but I'm happy it happened. We began dating and I couldn't have been happy. Even when bad things happened to me, I would smile because I knew I had you to lean on.
The next couple of years were perfect but then about a month ago things began going back down. Macy is my neighbor now. I know, unfortunate. I can't go outside my house because it's like she's watching me. Also, when you come home please don't come over. She doesn't know we're dating and I prefer to keep it that way. Surprising though, she's a big fan! A bitchy one but a fan none the less. Anyways, yesterday I had to go out to buy food to eat. The minute I stepped out of the house, her ass of a boyfriend came up to me, swinging his arm around me. He began flirting with me and well, trying to persuade me to...you know. Thank God he couldn't do anything but it was so close and I'm terrified. You're the only guy I've ever allowed to kiss me, see me and touch me. I'm terrified Harry. Terrified.
Well, my hands are getting tired I'll go now. Sorry if this made you mad. You asked ;) :Love you!