We Could have Been.

What i thought you where to me... what i want you to be and most of all... what we could have been. Would you even look at me if i was what you wanted me to be.
i would die for you but would you do so just for me?
can love be easy and simple for us to be together and you to see me in a different light


1. what i thought we are

I'm starting my whole high school experience with a summer til school starts party with a fake cup of beer and a new phone (water proof) with my lucky swimsuit.

The only reason i even bother to come is for him... Theodore Howard. 

i been thinking about him for the longest time and thinking about how we could have been like and what we are to each other from the day i meet him in the hallway freshman year.

He was everything i wish he would have been and i know things would be great if he would be a part of it. (and that he knows how great we are)

This time i won't sit around for him to come and rescue me from the miserable hell I'm in all the time. I have to be someone or let him see me and maybe i could be the girl he wanted. like what others would say "Love is somethings that either you find for yourselves or you fight for it."

I thought getting an invite to go was hard, really hard. But lucky my older brother, Andrew got an invite and i begged him to come but he told me i have to be home by ten thirty or he would take me home himself. 

So i drove there around twenty minutes til eight and my friend Brenda called me.

"Hero can you please let me go too." she always get invite to parties without me and go without me and this is the first for me to invite her to go or crash if she wanted.

"can you please tell me why you are not invited?" i asked laughing at her.

"Yah! Hero Bentley  Mino! You know i got invites because i got a boyfriend back then with all the invites.." 

"I know silly i just thought they would like you without him and let you in the parties rather than you with now like this." then i turn into her house.

i know she left me out of all the social stuff because she can't do anything about it but right now i feel a little rebellious and take her with me.

"Just get in the car or i will leave."


his house 

I think the chances me meeting anyone from my classes yet alone anyone i know was impossible. there was only seniors and juniors and they are the ones that are famous for not paying attention to anyone but themselves people. i wish i crash a better party but he was there and he was the only thing that i care about that moment. I know what we could be what everyone wants. perfection. 

With all the red cups flying and so is shirts. I stop to notice that my brother is not even around and then again so is he 

Where is he???

"So why haven't i seen you before?" Great i got notice by Raymond King the only one in this bunch i can say a loser. He just fool himself and act cute to girls to be able to hang with the popular kids.

"Well i am a sophomore that nobody look upon thats why you never seen me before. But hey, take another drink and get alcohol poisoning for all we care and I think...we don't!" and i whack him with a cup of mine.

"I didn't know sophomores girls can be so mean." said a voice and that was familiar but, before I know who face it was i said 

"Well standing up for myself now a crime?" and when i did know it was him Theodore the words are already there... Out for the universe to see and to feel.

"No not a crime but i think you made yourself a bitch for hurting Ray-Dog feelings. I never seen that before." he smile and i never seen it before in front of me and the smile is aiming at me.

"well true, but i prefer it that way than having him all over me and i can't have the last words in at all." i smile back but little

"You know everyone knows you crash the party tonight?" he whispered and also added "I'm suppose to kick you out," then to make matter worse he said "Since Andrew you brother i let him take you home tonight."

why... i thought we could hit it off, but maybe even if i try to be near him as i am right next to him now doesn't make it any different but only can do one thing. Make a fool out of me.Then little did i know my brother have to embarrassed me and said 

"Do you know what time it is?" and i turned around he had the face of (Are you hitting on my sister face) to him and my face gave out secret i thought my mouth would be the first to say 

"Hey everyone pissed of at her for blowing of Ray-dog and now i look like the villain. You know why we keep these parties a low key for Andy man. don't take kids here again okay?"

"Yeah i know." 

he see me as a kid!!! wtf man i just turn sixteen yesterday and you see me as a child!! find being like a year older makes you an adult. Bullshit pure shit man. 


"I was about to leave."

So i was looking to find Brenda and i saw her ex boyfriend sitting hear the back of the house and she giving him something that even i felt i was too young to see.

"well i guess she got her ride home."


Thinking about how my incident and what he said about me right in front of my face. 

Maybe tonight was a wake up call so i can start my sophomore year a better smarter girl. but who am i kidding i still think he hot and yes i am drooling thinking about him.

Maybe what i thought we are. better yet what i thought we could be when he get to see me was not what i hope it was in the first place.

i never thought my crush would see me as a girl, even worse a kid.

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