1. The beginning
When I first came to your school in year 7 I didn’t really pay much attention to you, I was trying to keep my head down and make sure I didn’t get bullied. It didn’t work though. I got beaten up on my second day in school and you were the one who found me crying behind the bike shed and told me that everything was going to be alright. I believed you and from that day on I was completely in love with you. It wasn’t alright it carried on and on and on. Being a weedy little nerd I was the obvious target and I would have come crying to you if you weren’t dealing with your own problems. You were dealing with anxiety and finding it harder and harder to make your way through school, I wanted to help you. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be the only person with you.
You blocked me out after that. No ‘hellos’ or ‘mornings’ anymore, not even a nod to show me that you knew I was there. You didn’t even care anymore but I never stopped caring about you. Never. I promised myself that I would always look out for you like you looked out for me that one day. Just those simple words made me feel better and I wanted to make you feel better as well but you kept your distance from me.
People started talking about you, calling you weird and I wanted to kill them all. You didn’t realise though, most of the time you weren’t even there to hear it. You hid yourself away and all I wanted to do was see you, watch you. That was the beginning and I loved you so much then.
School had always been hard for me, just being around people in a busy environment tortured me. I wanted to run away from the madness but I couldn’t. I never could. This new boy, Michael Davis, arrived and a day later he was being beaten to a pulp. What sort of world do we live in where this happens? It isn’t fair. I found him after they had beaten him up, he was crying his eyes out and all I could do was tell him that it would be alright but I was lying. It wasn’t going to be alright, they had started and they wouldn’t stop. I was diagnosed with anxiety after that and I just didn’t want to speak to anyone because I was terrified of having a panic attack if I even talked to anyone. I saw Michael watching me and it was then when I realised that he was always staring at me. Maybe I was just being vain but I could have sworn that whenever I looked at him he was already looking at me.
I didn’t want to speak to Michael. He was scaring me with the amount of time he was dedicating to watching me, I wasn’t being vain. It was really creepy. I was scared that he’d start following me home and to other places. I was really, really scared of him.
I heard their whispers. Saying that I was a loner, a freak, a weirdo. I didn’t care. They should have been saying that stuff about Michael. He was still getting bullied and I still wanted to help him but I wanted to keep a distance as well. I stayed away from everyone and thought that I was overreacting about the Michael thing. He couldn’t be a creepy stalker, he was only 13. I was overthinking it and being paranoid.