It was coming up to my 16th birthday and I knew that I had to invite you so that you would like me. I didn’t know who else to invite, you would find it weird if only one person was there. I never had many friends, just you. I thought about asking Derek to come but then you would only pay attention to him, I wanted you to have all your attention and time for me. I decided to ask Joe, Lindsay, Mark and Georgia along with you. They’re all your friends but pretty quiet so you shouldn’t be bothered to talk to them, Joe’s your brother so you talk to him a lot and you won’t want to talk to him. I knew that this would be the best birthday ever.
I asked you, I used all my courage and I asked you and what did you do?! You said “maybe” what sort of answer is that?! You’re either coming or not coming, why didn’t you just give me a straight answer?! Every other person said that they go. You drive me so crazy, Zoe! You make me so damn angry but I cannot stop loving you and wanting you to be mine. You don’t realise that I will do whatever it takes for you to be mine. Starting with Derek.
It was mere days to my birthday party and I needed to deal with Derek so that you would be available in time. I knew what I needed to do. I knew where Derek went home off by heart, I always followed him after he dropped you off home, and I loathed him. I waited for him at an abandoned school, the one that you used to go to. They were going to demolish the place soon but I had enough time to do what I needed to do.
All Joe’s been talking about for the last week has been Michael’s party, he hasn’t invited me but he’s tried a couple of times. I don’t know whether to go or not, he’s creepy and weird but I don’t want to leave Joe there alone. I didn’t want anything to happen to Joe, I wouldn’t let that happen.
Michael asked me to go at last and I said maybe, I was still thinking about it. Michael got really mad when I said that and ran away, he was going to shout at me but he managed not to. I had told Derek that I had got invited to Michael’s party and he got annoyed saying that he likes me and that he doesn’t want me to go. I had to calm him down and tell him that I didn’t want Joe going alone. I was going to go, that was for sure.
Derek’s gone missing. I’m so scared about what’s happened to him, I wanted him to be okay he had to be okay. His parents said that he ran away but I wouldn’t understand why he would do that. He couldn’t have run away, someone took him. I have been crying constantly until my eyes stung, Joe told me that everything was going to be alright and my parents said that there would be other boys. I didn’t want to think about other boys, I only wanted to think about Derek.