I rubbed my eyes tiredly and slipped into PJs, collapsing into bed with a huge sigh. I dragged a pillow beneath me, feeling my eyes start to shut until a light turned on. My phone. I groaned and checked it with half opened eyes.
Abigail: why do you keep sending me stuff I don't understand? Like that picture?! I don't get it, and that one time you said 'bye'?!
My thought process moved slowly as I tried to remember what picture she was talking about. Then I remembered a random funny picture I had sent about a week ago. Are you serious?
Me: that was just a random picture. And if you're going to be nasty about it, keep it to yourself. I've already cried because of you.
You know when you feel tension? That's what I felt. My fingers trembled and I brushed hair out of my face, wondering if I should move the scissors before something bad happened. I climbed hesitantly out of bed, grabbing them from my desk and taking them downstairs. I climbed the stairs and slipped back into bed, my finger hovered over the on button of my phone for a minute before I clicked it down.
Abigail: im not trying to start a fight ok. It just seemed like you were trying to get my attention.
I breathed out. Maybe we wouldn't get into a fight after all..
Me: sorry I freaked out, you've just been hurting me a lot lately, it's not you, it's just me
My fingers felt drunk. Typing whatever came to mind, my head starting to hurt a bit.
Abigail: i see, i see... What have I been doing to hurt you?
That was when they flew. From asking why she ignores me in class to why she doesn't tell me when she was at their house to why she gave me weird looks to the last and final one: 'why do you not care?' Everything that had been building for months came out of me in a waterfall and then I pressed send. I set my phone down heavily and then I waited, and waited. But around 10:30 I accidentally fell asleep.
The sunlight creeped into the room and I yawned, my fingers brushed through my hair as I tried to figure out what was going on. I shrugged and tumbled out of bed, going into my closet before turned my phone on. My heart skipped a bit and my mouth went dry. She had typed a long enough message to create a word document in my phone.
I felt fear crawl into me before I began to read the paragraphs.
'You always do things for my attention.'
'When you started cutting for my attention I knew I had to distance myself'
'You replaced Jesus with me'
'When you make better choices, maybe we can start again.'
My mouth dropped open, slightly ajar. I shook, my entire body shivering, like my body had gone cold. My thoughts were blank. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe right. She was accusing me of things that I'd never do. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. My mom came into my room, yelling at me to get ready, but quickly stopped once she saw my face.
"What is it?" She asked, worried mom coming in quickly. I let out a strangled sound and my phone dropped from my hand and my legs seemed to not be able to hold my weight as I fell next to me phone. My mom kneeled down next to me as I screamed and cried and sounded like some kind of wounded animal and grabbed my phone and turned it on, her eyes going through the text. I heard her take in a sharp intake of breathe.
"So," Ashley said to me, crossing her legs. "I heard about Abigail." Of course she had. I shrugged, my lips turning to a frown.
"Yeah," I said.
"What did you do?" I pinched the side of my thighs before saying plainly, "I blocked her."
Ashely nodded to me, asking me all that happened. When I said all she said (including some that I haven't shared here) she tilted her head to the side.
"You know..." She said slowly. "That seems really familiar." My eyebrows drew together.
"What?" I asked.
"The whole Jesus thing. It just seems a whole lot like what that other Ginny Lynn girl said." Realization slowly grew on me as I tightly grabbed my other hand.
It was defiantly Abigail who wrote the text.
At 11:48 at night.
And guess whose house she was at when she wrote it?