3. the worst night
I collapsed on the bed. My parents weren't home. I swear I could have felt wind blowing through my rib cage. I tried to cry, but nothing came out. I was dry. I was empty. And I was desperate to make the feeling go away. What's sharper then scissors? My mind immediately answered: razor blades. But that was something my parents would notice missing. I took a deep breathe. Think, think, think, think. Pencil sharpener
What's the point?
Why am I here?
I want to be with Becky.
This makes no sense, everything I do in the end won't matter. Everyone will forget me anyway.
I stood on the balcony, slowly pulling myself up on the railing. I could hear my heart beat in my ears, my breathe echoing in my head. My palms began to sweat, I averted my eyes from the pavement to the clouds crowding the sky. I could feel the stillness before rain, the smell and taste of dying roses filling my lungs. Go towards the clouds, not the street. Maybe I'd fly. I was close to the end now. I stood on my tiptoes, tipping forward slowly. I didn't hear the garage door open.
"Emery?!" I heard my mom yell. "What are you doing?" My heart stopped. I turned around, trying to cover up the blood on my thighs. My stomach churned and I felt like throwing up.
"Get DOWN!" My mom cried, pulling me down by my arms. That's when I started crying. Slowly and then faster the tears came, I heard my sobs like it wasn't me creating them.
"I cut!" I screamed to no one in particular.
And watched my world tumble down.