I sat up in a panic, my mind still groggy from sleep. Nightmares. I hate nightmares. My breathing shakily and harshly crept up my throat, choking me as I gripped the sheets tightly in my fists. My eyes darted around the pitch black, settling at the warm light that seeped underneath the door. My heart leapt and I felt as if it would come up my mouth. I slowly left the covers and my legs shook as I felt my feet lightly on the carpet, my fingers lingering on my blanket before I pulled it off and onto my shoulders. I stepped toward my closet where the blades were. My fingers shook slightly as I looked longingly at the door, but I shook my head and turned sharply to the door. No. I wouldn't do it. Not now. I opened the door to the hallway and tiptoed down it, my headache growing. It throbbed. I sighed and stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, clicking on the light. It burned my eyes and I yawned, balling up my fists and rubbing. I grabbed a glass and filled it up with water before a giant tremor raced up my spine and the glass slipped from my fingertips, shattering on the floor with a loud crash.
"Oh, no.." I felt like crying as I stared at the floor, letting my hands fall limply to my sides.
"Hey honey," I heard a tired voice whisper huskily from the doorway. I looked up at Dan who was putting on his glasses while glancing at the mess I made. He sighed slightly but gave me a small smile.
"Alright sweetie, step over that carefully okay?" He told me. I slowly stepped over, my bare feet grazing the glass as I made it to the other side of my disaster. I moaned as I made my way towards him and he ruffled my hair before going to get a broom and a mop. He started fixing it before turning to me.
"Why don't you go to bed while I do this?" He asked. I shook my head fast, remembering my dream. He tilted his head but didn't say anything, cleaning everything before coming up to me and resting his hand on my shoulder.
"Why are you up?" Dan whispered. He stared at me hard.
"Nightmare.." I finally said. He nodded slowly and flung his arm around my shoulder, leading me into the living room and turning on the TV. He dragged me to the couch and laid down before tugging me down with him.
"Alright," he said. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, okay?" I nodded and he grabbed a blanket on the back of the couch, pulling it down on us. He flicked on some random Batman movie and held me to him to make me less scared. I realized I really did love my family. I loved my cousins, they made me feel... At home. They were my family. This was my home.
"Dan?" I whispered in a hushed voice.
"Mm?" He questioned sleepily.
"I..." My voice trailed off and I sucked in.
"What is it?" He said, more alert.
"I almost cut again..." He hugged me tighter.
"It's okay, you didn't do it. You didn't do it right?"
"Okay, then, it's okay. You're safe now, I promise. We love you a lot, darling, and I promise I won't let something bad happen. Not again."
Tears glistened in my eyes and I turned away from the TV and into his shirt. He was like the best brother ever.