1. Time to Forget
I wake up, beads of sweat on my forehead. It was the nightmare; the one I constantly had these days. Ever since I released her ashes, it's been the same every night.
Caleb shoves her into the chamber and runs away, fear in his eyes. I am frozen in place, watching him go. She fights the death chamber and succeeds, I run for her but when David.....
David! I need to go to The Bureau right now and punch him. Kill him. But he knows nothing of himself, nothing of killing her. I slam my fists into my pillow, my blankets, and soon the wall.
A loud knock on my door, bringing me from my trance. I stand and wipe my sweat, striding towards the door as confidently as possible.
Christina stands there, smiling. She steps in uninvited and stops smiling.
"Nightmare again?" She knows me almost as well as Tris. But never as well as Tris.
I nod and start making coffee. Christina is dressed in her work clothes and wears makeup. Tris never liked makeup. No, I need to stop thinking about Tris.
"I'm taking you to work today." Christina says matter-of-factly.
"Because, like I've said before, you need people to talk to." Christina shoves me into the bathroom and shuts the door.
I shower quickly and brush my teeth. I wrap a towel around my body as I leave the bathroom and enter my bedroom. I put on blue jeans and a black shirt. It still feels odd, the mixing of colors.
I tie my shoes and leave my bedroom. Christina is sitting on my couch, drinking coffee.
"Ready?" She asks, tossing me a muffin.
"Sure." I nod and grab my keys, locking the door as we leave.
"How's your mom?" She asks politely, very un-Christina like.
"She's fine." Evelyn left my apartment a few months ago. "How're Zeke and Hana?" We leave the building and start towards the train tracks.
"Still sad, but they're better. Zeke's asked about you a few times." It's so odd to walk on these paved streets, not having to worry about fallen lampposts, holes, and cracked pavement.
"Oh?" I'm not in the mood for talking. I haven't been for 3 years.
"Tobias." Christina stops and looks me in the eye. It strikes me how pretty her eyes are. They are wide and pleading with me, while strong and determined.
"I know. It's just impossible to forget, to move on." I haven't talked directly about Tris for at least a year; it's too painful. She nods, thoughtfully and full of sorrow.