Finally, I took my suitcase from the ground, walked to the door and slammed it with all the strength I had.
I knew my flight was around midnight, but I didn’t care about waiting alone at the airport…
We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break… We need a break…
“F**k!” I said when I was at the waiting room with my stuff at my feet. “Get out of my head!”
Believe me when I say I wished I had cried my eyes out instead of torturing myself with his voice in my mind.
I decided not to call anyone or say a single thing about us breaking up, I really wanted to be alone and understand what he told me… It was kind of incredible for me that he actually was the kind of guy I’ve always tried to run away from.
I loved him, and I really wanted to think about him as someone special, someone who had always been there for me and understood every single thing about me but… Ah!
There were so many thoughts bouncing on my mind! I took my iPod hoping I wouldn’t think about anything but the time I had to got into the plane… Such a stupid of me! My whole music world spins around him and his brothers and his friends and the songs he likes and… DAMN IT!
Somehow I survived the waiting at the airport and when I got home I acted normally… At least for a few days…
I was living on an apartment by myself near my parents’ house, so the first one who got the news about me going down because of Nick a bit later, was my brother.
“Are you actually telling me the truth?” He asked me.
“Yeah… He broke up with me.”
“Yeah, I’ve gotten that but… I’m not so sure about why.”
“I’ve told you…”
“I can’t believe it…” He sighed. “Do you still want to move to New York?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I haven’t even gotten an answer so maybe it’s time for me to forget about it.”
“Did you ever want to move there because of you or just because of him?”
“Because of everything… When I was still a freshman in college I really dreamed about living in NY, when I became Nick’s girlfriend and he moved in I wished I could be there, when my best friend moved there with her husband I couldn’t think about anything else… But now, I guess that never was a part of my fate.”
“Let’s wait for a response… If it’s meant to be it’ll be, and you’ll live there not because of anybody but because of you! Because that’s what you want.”
My brother always knew what to tell me. He knew me too well and wanted me to be the best in everything.
I didn’t know what to say back then, I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know what was going to happen… Everyone says you need to think about your future, that you must not throw it away for someone who is miles and miles away but what happens when he was your everything and you once thought you’d be together forever?! WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HE IS YOUR PRINCE CHARMING BUT YOU’RE NOT HIS CINDERELLA?!
Days passed by and I got tired of waiting, I got tired of expecting Nick to call and ask for me, I got tired of my job, I got tired of everything…
You know? It’s really hard to face the fact that your whole life was something because you had someone on it.
As soon as I realized that what happened back at the city that never sleeps was real, I sent an e-mail to my friends. Bren answered me: TOLD YOU! I don’t want to make you feel even worse but you know, there’s a gossip about him hanging out with Miley again. And she’s not a saint, you know. On the other hand, Nathalie sent: I’ll not believe it until he says so. Miley’s engaged with Liam btw.
And there was when my head said “who cares?”, but then my heart whispered, “you do, stupid”. Maybe he wasn’t exactly dating Miley but I knew he wasn’t hurt for leaving me at all.