37. Holding On Or Letting Go
Me: As if.
Look at me, getting pulled back into the Bieber parade. Come to think of it, Justin was (is) my only friend. It's like I'm falling off a cliff and I need someone to grab onto and even though there are so many people around, Justin seems to be the only one holding out his hand. But is it to help me up or push me down? Does it even matter? I'm falling for Christ sake.
Justin: I wrote a song for u
Grab on Lily, Grab on.
Me: How does it go?
Justin: I have to sing it to you
I smile. What am I doing smiling at this lame excuse for a friend. 'Your so desperate Lil' Beatrice would say. Am I really? Or am I lonely. I throw my phone at the wall. I put on my Juicy Couture sweater and leave the room. "Where are you going sweetie?" Mom ask. "I just have to clear my mind a bit." Mom starts to write some more. "Give me a hug Lillian." I hug her tight and rest my face on her shoulder. "I love you." I say. "I love you way more." Mom doesn't let go for a long time and neither do I. "Okay go on." And I'm sprinting out the door. My shoes slap against the wet pavement. It is raining. I throw over my hoodie but it falls back down. The little houses turn into big ones and the big ones turn to mansions. I know exactally where I'm going. A car stops by me and rolls down the window, "Are you okay." No. "Yeah I'll be okay." I keep running. People driving in their fancy cars stare at me like 'what is this regular girl doing in our not so regular neighbor hood.' I run up to his door and just stand there. Minutes that feel like hours go by. Then I knock and all of a sudden I'm in Justins arms, my wet body againt his. Doing nothing more than hugging and nothing less than loving eachother