"So, what is it that you want to do?" Zayn asked as he led me into the gym.
My eyes instantly found the boxing ring, and Zayn eyed me sympathetically after he followed my gaze.
"Why don't we lift weights, keep you off your feet?" Zayn suggested.
"Sounds good." I nodded as I followed him to the bench.
"How much can you bench press?" He asked.
"I usually press 140 to 160 pounds." I replied quickly.
"Wow." He gasped as I layed on my back and waited for him to set up.
"What?" I asked.
"That's more than any of us can push." He admitted.
"Well, you are in a boy band, I'm a professional underground boxer. I wouldn't expect you to." I laughed.
My laugh only lasted a second because I immediately started pushing the bar up and bringing it back down. It was pretty easy for me so I put it back on the rack and looked at Zayn who was doing sit ups beside me on the floor.
"How much is this?" I asked.
"I put on 145 pounds, why?" He asked.
"This is too easy, could you add another 10 on both sides?" I replied.
"That'll make it 165 pounds!" Zayn gasped.
"Are you sure you should be lifting that much?" Zayn asked as he reluctantly brought the requested weights.
"I've lifted Dan off of the ground, and managed to push a car, by myself. What makes you think that I can't bench press 165 pounds?" I laughed as he slid the weights on and sat back down.
"I just think it's a bit much." He shrugged.
I shook my head before laying back down and placing my hands back on the bar. Once I had a good grip I lifted it up and began resuming my work out, satisfied that I had to put in more effort this time. I breathed in as I let the bar down and out when I pushed it back up.
"I stand corrected." I heard Zayn sat from his spot of the floor.
"Technically, you sit corrected." I spoke in between breaths, causing Zayn to chuckle.
After doing about four sets, 10 reps each, I put the bar back on the rack and sat up to see Zayn on the treadmill. He was quite fast, but I could see how much effort it took him to be able to run as fast as he was. Using my strengthened muscles to push me up, I stood and limped over to Zayn.
"Whatcha doing?" I sing-songed as he looked at me from the corner of his eyes.
"Running." He said, mocking my tone.
"Obviously." I chuckled.
"How many sets did you do?" Zayn asked.
"Four." I replied.
"In only...8 minutes?" He exclaimed, looking at the clock.
"Yeah, I could've done more, but I was getting bored." I shrugged.
With that, Zayn shut the treadmill down and hopped off.
"Well, what else do you wanna do?" Zayn asked, his deep hazel eyes searching my green ones.
"Actually, I was wondering if you'd let me train you?"
"I'm not letting you train me in your condition, sorry." Zayn said, shaking his head no.
"No, I meant that I could direct you and help you...it's obvious that I can't box right now."
"Oh, then yeah." Zayn beamed.
"Hello my little carrots!" I heard Louis tell as he walked in, both Zayn and I rolled our eyes before watching him stroll over.
"Hey Louis." Zayn said, sounding bored.
"What's up?" He asked, looking from Zayn to me.
"I was just about to help Zayn train, but now that you're here I won't have to do much." I smiled, earning confused looks from both the boys.
"You slacked off last time we were in the gym," I said pointing to Louis," and Zayn needs to work on his techniques."
"Is that such a good idea? I mean, I'm not that experienced with hands on stuff like boxing." Louis said, sounding unsure.
"Please." I pouted a little and looked up at Louis from under my eyelashes, hoping to guilt him into agreeing.
I saw Zayn chuckled as Louis immediately changed his attitude from unsure to willing.
"Of course." Louis smiled, a hint if nervousness still glinting his eyes.
"Ok then, go get your gloves and meet me by the ring." I instructed.
They both slowly looked at eachother and then at me, looking like little kids who didn't know how to follow directions.
"Now!" I exclaimed causing them to jump and immediately run to the other side of the room. The effect I had on these boys was actually quite amusing; they came back with their exquipment in less than two minutes.
"Ready?" I asked.
They nodded and started to walk towards the ring. Once they slipped into the ring I followed and held my hand up to Zayn as I stood in front of Louis.
"Gloves on, and get ready to fight." I said to Louis.
With slight hesitation Louis put on his gloves, put his mouth guard in and took a step back. Not really sure if it was a good idea or not, I took a quick step forward and kicked him. I had used my good leg and swept his feet out from under him. I put all the anger I had felt from thinking that he was playing me into that kick, and it was obvious from how quick and hard he hit the ground. I barely spared him a glance as I stood straight and crossed my arms.
"Rule number one: be prepared for anything and everything." I stated, ignoring the pain I felt in my left leg- I put too much weight on it from kicking Louis down. Zayn chucked as Louis slowly got up and dusted himself off.
"Zayn, I need to get something, teach him some defensive stances. If I'm not back quick enough work on the simple moves that I taught you." I said quickly, ignoring the look of shock in Louis's eyes.
"Where are you going?" Zayn and Louis asked at the same time.
"Aren't you supposed to be training?" I shot back," Or do I have to fight you?"
Louis and Zayn immediately averted their gazes from me and focused on eachother. Once I slipped out of the ring I could hear Zayn explaining how to stand and block.
I was actually in a lot of pain as I limped out if the gym and towards the kitchen. I was hoping to find one of the boys, but they weren't in here.
"Liam?!" I called.
Faster than you could say 'pickles' Liam was rushing in with a worried look on his face.
"What is it? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He shot questions at me so quickly that I chuckled.
"Sorry if I scared you, I was just wondering where my pills were."
"Oh," he relaxed a little and smiled, but the worry quickly made its way back to his features.
"Wait- why do you need them? Are you actually hurt?" Liam asked.
"I kicked my leg out to sweep Louis's feet out from under him and put too much weight on my leg.... It's no big deal." I shrugged.
"I thought that we told you not to box Toni." Liam scolded.
"I wasn't boxing, I was paying Louis back and helping them train at the same time... And last I checked, you are not my father!"
"Of course I'm not your father, your father is dead!" Liam yelled back.
His outburst made me cringe back and bite my tounge. His words hurt a lot more than they should have, but they still hurt. Liam must've noticed because he immediately softened and reached out to me, but I took a few steps back until I hit the counter and held my hands up.
"Toni, I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to say that." Liam stammered as he took another step closer. I was up against the counter so I couldn't move away anymore, so I pulled my arms away from him and shrunk back.
"Get away from me." I spat.
"Toni, I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-
"I said, get away from me!" I yelled, using whatever strength I had left to push him out of the way and limp towards my room. I heard Liam follow me, but that only made me want to get there quicker. When I got in there I had to grab the door and turn my whole body back around to shut it.
"Toni, please don't-
I quickly cut him off by shutting the door in his face and clicking the lock. Once I was sure that he couldn't come in I hobbled over to my bed and used my arms to pull me up and onto it. Landing on my stomach, I put my head onto my pillow and crossed my arms around my head, blocking any light from my face.
I don't know why I was so hurt by Liam's words- yes I do! I never let anyone mention my father without a good reason. The only reason Liam mentioned him was to shut me up and make me listen. If I wasn't as weak as I am, I would've pushed him back and attempted to fight him. However, not only am I physically weak, I'm also mentally and emotionally weak, too.
These boys are trying to get me to open up, but the problem is: if I even attempt to, the walls I had so expertly built up will come crashing down. I hate to make myself emotionally vulnerable, which is why I never give myself the chance to. I didn't deserve anyone's pity now, because of the bitch that I've become. If I was dead I doubt anyone would even care...they'd probably be happy that the world would have one less bitch.
I attempted to shake off the thoughts as quickly as I had them, but deep down I know that they were true. I'm self centered,I don't care about anyone's feelings but my own.
When I lifted my head up I spotted my pill bottle sitting on my nightstand. Louis must've left them there from earlier when he gave me one, claiming that it would help me sleep. Now I wonder... How many would I have to take to put my to sleep...permanently?
It's been almost half an hour since Toni left, and I had a feeling that she wasn't coming back.
"Where do you think Toni went?" Louis asked, also taking notice that she wasn't back yet.
"I don't know...let's go find out." I suggested as I stood up from the bench and wiped my face of all the sweat.
As I was about to walk out I felt Louis grab my arm and tug me back to face him.
"What was that for?" I demanded, yanking my arm back.
"Why was Toni so mad at me earlier today?" Louis asked.
"I don't know," I lied," why don't you ask her yourself?"
"You're lieing." Louis said as he narrowed his eyes at me, secretly looking for a reaction that he wasn't going to get.
"If you feel that she's upset you can ask her yourself, but let's find her first." I retorted.
This time, when I turned and began to walk away, Louis didn't even try to stop me, he simply followed silently behind me.
After walking out of the gym, Louis and I spilt up in search for Toni; I continued on to the living room where he went to look in the kitchen. Once I walked in I found someone sitting on the couch with their head in their hands, but it wasn't Toni.
"Hey mate." I said as I sat down on the recliner.
His head snapped up and I was met by his puffy, and red, brown eyes.
"Woah, what's wrong?" I asked.
"I said something to Toni that I shouldn't have." Liam rasped, his voice quiet and scratchy.
"Why, what happened?" I asked, sitting up in anticipation.
"She came in looking for her pills because she hurt her leg from kicking Louis, or something. When I scolded her for boxing she blew up and told me off, claiming that I wasn't her father." Liam explained.
"But she wasn't boxing, she was training Louis and I. She may have kicked him down, but it didn't look like she was in pain." I said, attempting to stick up for her.
"I know, that's what she said." Liam said quickly, but not continuing.
"So what did you say to upset her?" I pushed.
"Well when she yelled at me and said I wasn't her father I snapped and s-said... I told her that- 'of course I'm not your father, your father is dead'." Liam stammered, obviously hurt by his own words.
"Liam," I began.
"I know, okay? I shouldn't have said it, but I snapped... I didn't mean it." Liam said quickly, cutting me off.
It was silent before Liam put his head back in his hands and sighed shakily.
"She didn't even let me explain myself..." He whispered.
With that I stood and went over to him, patting him on the back.
"It's okay, she was just hurt. I'm sure that she was just upset by what you said and that she'll come around eventually." I assured him. He simply nodded, but didn't look up at me.
"Where did she go?" I asked.
"In her room... I tried to get her to listen, but she locked me out."
I was about to get up and go to Toni's room when I heard Louis's voice echo throughout the house.
"Toni?! Zayn help me!" He yelled.
Both Liam and I immediately got up and sprinted towards Toni's room where Louis was pounding on the door.
"What's the problem?" I asked.
"I knocked and knocked, but no matter what I say she won't answer. There wasn't one sound coming from that room and I'm afraid that she's done something." Louis panicked.
Before I could react, Liam quickly lifted his leg and kicked the door open. Once it was open we all ran to Toni who was sprawled out on the bed.
"She's sleeping." Liam said, though he sounded unconvinced.
To see if he was right, I put my hands on her shoulder and tried to shake her awake. I jumped the second my fingertips touched her, her body was ice cold.
"Why won't she wake up?" Louis continued to panick.
I ignored her coldness and tried to shake her, getting more and more frantic as she continued to be unresponsive.
"Guys." Liam called from the other side of the bed. Louis and I immediately snapped our heads up to look at him and saw that he had an empty pill bottle in his hand.
"No..." Louis whispered.
"You don't think that she took all of these...do you?" Liam asked, sounding nervous.
"HARRY!! Call an ambulance!" I yelled out.
"She couldn't have...she wouldn't have." Liam dropped to his knees and shook his head, hugging them to his chest.
"It doesn't matter what she did, we have to make sure she's okay." I said, quickly picking Toni's lifeless body up and carrying her out of the room.
"I called them, but what for?" Harry asked as he met us in the living room.
When he saw Toni his face lost all color and he shook his head, like Liam.
"I think she took all of her pills after what Liam said." Louis spoke up from behind me.
Niall rushed in as Louis explained and had a few paramedics come in behind him.
As they took Toni and put her in a gurney I followed them and held into Toni's hand.
"You're going to be okay, you're going to be okay." I repeated.
I refused to be left behind so I jumped into the back if the ambulance with Toni and looked towards the three boys.
"Go check on Liam and meet me at the hospital. Don't let him do anything stupid either." I instructed.
They nodded and rushed back into the house, pushing past all the officers and paramedics. Two came over and closed the doors quickly as two others started the truck and began to speed away.
I looked down at Toni and grasped her hand as tears began to fall from my eyes.
"Stay with me Toni, you can't leave me now." I begged quietly.
Though I've only known her for a few days, I felt that she was like one of the lads. She was stubborn and aggressive, but she was also cunning, and strong, and sweet deep down.
"Don't leave me." I cried.