The Sub

"So is this it?" His eyes cast down. No attempt to meet mine again. "I don't know. I think it is." I reply. His back turns and then it hits me. It's over. No matter how much it hurts. It's the memories I crave, and the future I crave. I can't be what he wants. He can't be what I want. "This is it."


8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8
                Why does he want me to only come in here and not adventure throughout the house?
                Damn it, why can’t my subconscious stay away. She’s always there bugging the hell out of me. Well not always, it seems she just appeared the day I first met Mr.… I mean Luke.  Am I supposed to call him Luke outside of school, or should I continue addressing him as Mr. Hemmings? I’ll have to ask in the morning, or just call him Luke and see what happens.
                The sweatpants he brought me are too big as I knew they’d be. So I have to pull the strings tight and tie them quickly so they stay on my waist. The shirt looks huge on my frame. I unbraid my bangs and let them fall over my forehead. I can’t find a comb so I subdue my hair with my fingers then tie it back with the band I had around my wrist.
                When I make it back to the living room Luke is sitting on the couch doing something on his laptop. I’m not really sure what to do. I feel a lot better now, my mind is clear. Well as clear as it can be around him. I walk over into the room and then sit on the seat and a half near the couch. I love these oversized seats. They’re great especially for cuddling because of how close you’d be to the person you’re sitting with.
                “Uh, what time is it?” I finally find something to say. This should spark a conversation, and I might find something out about him.
                “It’s close to midnight.” His eyes do not leave the computer screen.
                “Why can’t I explore the house? I’m not inclined to,” that’s a lie, “but why not?”
                “It’s my house, that’s why.” He says bluntly.
                “Just trying to make conversation…”
                “Jacey, do you have a boyfriend?”  Oh?
                “No, not that it’s any of your business.” I say. He grumbles something that I think is ‘Oh but it is.’ I choose to ignore it, even though I hope that’s what he said. It’s odd how something he says can either set me off, or send butterflies to the pit of my stomach. “Can we watch TV or something please? Or if you’re annoyed with my presence you could take me home.” 
                “Why do you think you’re annoying me?”
                “Well, you said you only had feelings of arrogance towards me; and I’m not even sure that’s an emotion anyways. You’re being weird and well you’re a teacher. Isn’t this illegal or something?”
                “Are you 18?”
                “Yeah, why?”
                “It’s okay for now anyways. It’s not like we’ve done anything. Besides as long as this stays a secret it shouldn’t matter.” He tells me. “Are you going to report me? Just know that if you do, you’d have to tell the police or whoever that you were drunk at the time. Then all I’d have to say was I was helping you, so I’m not worried about the law right now.”
                “Why did you really bring me here? I just can’t believe that you’re just helping me out.”
                “Jacey,” He finally looks at me, “you wouldn’t like what I want to do to you. You’d run away if you knew. So for now let’s leave it at that.”
                Before Luke went to bed he showed me to the guest room and again told me not to get up and go exploring. I haven’t really said a word to him since what he told me earlier.
                “Jacey, you wouldn’t like what I want to do to you. You’d run away if you knew. So for now let’s leave it at that.”
                The looks on his face was so serious and so dominate. I can’t even express what I read from his eyes. The blue seemed so much darker. They held so much intensity. Part of me is telling me to scare and run for the hills, but… I don’t want too. Ever since he said those three sentences my goddess has been doing a nonstop tumbling routine.
                Listen to yourself Jacey, you’re going nuts. 
                That’s true, why do I keep calling my subconscious my mini goddess? Luke Hemmings is officially messing with my mind. I cannot even speak of anything he tells me because I don’t want to be in trouble or get him in any. I don’t know what to think anymore. It’s an odd feeling; it’s so foreign to me.  Why can I not choose one side to stick on? Do I want to find out exactly what he meant even if it does scare me? Or do I want to run away and never think of him again?
                Maybe I’m blowing this all out of proportion, I mean why would he want me? I’m just Jacey, with nothing interesting about me. I know I’m not the thinnest and I like that. Or do I? Am I actually feeling insecure? That’s even odder. I rarely feel insecure, so I push the thoughts away. I don’t want to feel that way anyways.
                I wonder if he is asleep. I bet if he is I could wonder around for a bit. I just wonder what he’s hiding. He told me not to but I need too. Well I want to. He shouldn’t get that mad. I mean what if he’s just saying that so I won’t find embarrassing family photographs. That may be it. What’s the worse he can do anyways? Yell at me maybe?
                I quietly slip out of the guest room and into the hallway. Luke’s room is right beside this guest room so I listen at the door to see if he’s awake. I can’t hear anyone speaking and the television must be off if he has one in his room. I think I’m safe to roam the house for now.
                I turn to go down the hall which leads to a flight of stairs. The stairs are carpeted like the rest of the hall. I’ve only found that the kitchen and bathrooms are not carpeted but instead hardwood flooring. At the top of the stairs there is yet another hall. There are two doors to my right and two to my left. Hmm, this is a pretty big house. I didn’t really look on the outside when I came in. I make a note to myself to look tomorrow when I go home.
                I decide to go into the rooms on the right first so I step into the first door. It’s a huge bedroom. It’s furnished with a dark cherry dresser and chest, a nice flat screen TV between to doors on the other end of the room. The bed is opposite of them. It has a gray bed suite, it looks to be silk, but I could be wrong. Even if it is not it has to be expensive. Everything in this room has to be pretty pricey. Is he rich or something?
                I walk over to the two doors, I decide to keep the lights off incase Luke in fact is not asleep and decides to stroll up here. I wouldn’t want to be caught. I open the door on the right of the TV and find an empty walk in closet. I close the door and open the other. It’s a bathroom. It’s huge for a bathroom too. I walk in and see it has a two sink set up, a shower, a bath, and of course a toilet. There is a plushy rug in front of the sinks. It feels nice between my bare toes.
                I leave the room and go into the room next to the last one. It’s just an in home office, so I walk out. I doubt I’ll find anything interesting in there; hmm now to the other side. I choose to go into the room across from the office. It’s another coat closet. Well that’s boring; now on to the last room.
                I try to open the door but it’s locked. I know I shouldn’t try and ‘break in’ the room but I do. I pull the bobby pins from my hair that are holding back my bangs then jimmy the lock. I learned this from my brother about four years ago when he locked us out of the house once. The door comes open perfectly when I’m done. There are no windows in this room so I’m forced to turn on the light.
                I’m not even sure what I’m looking at. I gasp and take a step back. I’m against the door now astonished by the sight. In the far right corner there is a king sized bed with deep purple sheets covering it. The head board has hand cuffs on them along with the bottom of the bed. Above that is an arrangement of different whips. The whole room looks like something you’d find in an erotic novel. Hell, I know what this is. I know what he is now. He’s a Dominate. I’ve read this before. I’m still praying my mind is playing tricks on me. This looks like the Red Room of Pain from 50 Shades of Grey, except there aren’t as many toys, or whatever you want to call them. The walls are another deep purple and the furniture is all black. I can’t look anymore. I have to go. This is absolutely crazy. I close the door behind me and run to the guest room.
                He can’t do any of those things to me. It made for a good book but in real life? I didn’t think people were really like that. I knew there more than likely some, but not anyone I knew. Then again I don’t really know Luke.
                Why am I still here? Why haven’t I just left? Why I am not terrified? 
                It was hard to sleep last night. I kept dreaming about that room and those books. I was just curious when I read them and I loved them. Now I’m finding myself in this position. Go figure. Now everything is making sense why he said I’d run away if I knew what he wanted to do to me. I now know why he worried about my safety last night. It’s just too weird for me to comprehend.
                I finally get out of bed and go into the kitchen. To my surprise Luke is awake and he’s even making food. I sit at the bar on the stool. I can’t look him in the eyes when he passes me a plate. I don’t want too. I don’t want to be some toy to him. I don’t want to be another number in the list of numbers. Even if that part of me wants to be. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. Call it cliché but I want a sweet vanilla relationship with him.
                “Can you take me home?” I ask after I eat. He nods. I finally take a glance at him. He looks the same. He has no idea I went up to that room last night. I go to the bathroom and change back into my dress. I check my phone which I left on the bathroom sink. It’s dead of course. I thank Luke for letting me stay over and helping me. He just smiles. I give him my address and he takes me home.
                “Are you alright?” He asks.
                “Not really.” I answer.
                “Can I take you out somewhere tonight?”
                “Why?” I look over to him disgusted. I bet he wants to talk me into agreeing to be something I can’t be. He wants me as a submissive. I know it. Then he will not be the sub anymore. I would be technically.
                “Just agree please.” He’s begging. I can see it in his eyes.
                “Okay, get me at eight.” I sigh. I don’t even know why I am agreeing to this. Maybe it’s because he’s so hard to resist. Maybe he isn’t like Christian Grey; maybe he just wants some of the kinks and a regular relationship. I just can’t help but think why me?
Authors note: No one guessed that I assure you! I will be having a character contest though. I’ll release details soon, on here, Instagram and also twitter. 
My Instagram is: @holmeschapeluke 
Twitter: @rainbowclifford 

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